Dear Diary,
I am so drained. We just got back from our accountant's office, and it was like sitting through a two hour confessional. To sum it up, we are slowly starting to unravel the mysteries of our finances. He hasn't paid taxes since 2006. Even though I signed the paperwork, etc, they were never mailed in. He cried and told me (and the accountant) how much he loved me and how sorry he is. Whatever. I'm numb. I just want to buckle down and work through this and take care of business, which is what we are doing.
This week we will be handling much paperwork, and I will just take it one step at a time. It was sad to see how confused he was in the meeting.
It's clear I'm driving this bus now, and I'm determined to get us to safety.
Also diary, please tell Tina that XO means hugs and kisses.
XO
Love,
J.
Dear Diary
Re: Dear Diary
PS
I'm not delusional, diary. I just need to say it once, diary. Just once, and never again. It is painfully clear that he was having a long term affair with someone in NY.
An expensive long term affair.
That's all. I don't need details, or want them. I just need you to know diary, that I'm not a fool. I just chose to not know it.
We all do the best we can, and we never know how we would react in these situations. So, I chose to not know.
Would I do that again? No. I would say, "don't fuck with me". But alas, it is too late for those words.
XO
J.
PS
Was I not pretty enough? Or smart enough? or GOOD enough?
I'm not delusional, diary. I just need to say it once, diary. Just once, and never again. It is painfully clear that he was having a long term affair with someone in NY.
An expensive long term affair.
That's all. I don't need details, or want them. I just need you to know diary, that I'm not a fool. I just chose to not know it.
We all do the best we can, and we never know how we would react in these situations. So, I chose to not know.
Would I do that again? No. I would say, "don't fuck with me". But alas, it is too late for those words.
XO
J.
PS
Was I not pretty enough? Or smart enough? or GOOD enough?
Re: Dear Diary
J, There is one major point you are missing. IT IS AND WAS NOT YOUR FAULT. Yes you were there but it is HE that spun the ball of knots, it was he who manipulated your trust and love. My adjectives and verbs would be of no help so I will not go there. There are times in life, one has to cut bait and run. There are times when it pays to stick it out and wait. I do not think the person could repent enough for me to ever be trusted again. Allways remember that trying to save one without knowing and applying the CORRECT methods, the victim can and will drown you both. Please be very carefull.
Remember you and your moving forward is what has cleared the fog and unravelled the knots of deception.
My nickle"s worth would be do not go near him without your life preserver on and strap it tight and body armor may even be food for thought.
In threw the nose and out threw the mouth. Watch your steps my friend.
Remember you and your moving forward is what has cleared the fog and unravelled the knots of deception.
My nickle"s worth would be do not go near him without your life preserver on and strap it tight and body armor may even be food for thought.
In threw the nose and out threw the mouth. Watch your steps my friend.
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tina martin
- Posts: 792
- Joined: Sun Nov 14, 2010 9:24 pm
Re: Dear Diary
J, this is unbelievable, or is it? By now I'd say it is almost an automatic for many of them. They can squander resources in any number of ways. We hear about it more today because things are more in the open. You know I feel for you, am so very sorry for all of it.
Dealing with fridge here that needs to be replaced (a mess), must report to jury duty tomorrow, so won't be around much. Please try and look forward, not back and praise yourself for all you've accomplished for yourself, Love...........T
Dealing with fridge here that needs to be replaced (a mess), must report to jury duty tomorrow, so won't be around much. Please try and look forward, not back and praise yourself for all you've accomplished for yourself, Love...........T
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Paisleegreen
- Posts: 1778
- Joined: Mon Oct 25, 2010 5:27 pm
Re: Dear Diary
HI J, so sorry about the sad news about your financial affairs, I know how that can be. We've been behind in paying taxes through our business, but it was more of waiting for money to come in and having our CPA straighten it all out.
So it would be most frustrating and depressing to know that you had the money and financial affairs in order and they didn't get sent. Definitely a trust betrayed, this happened to my Sis in law, while they were getting out of a financial crunch, she trusted her husband to make payments on a new house they were forced to move into and he instead cashed his pay check and gambled it away before he could even get home which was a distance away. She was quite heartbroken and devastated but carried on, b/c her husband had shown great strength and responsibility before this happened and depression got the best of him and then later a grave illness.
I agree with R to cut the line...but it is up to you and what you know about your husband whether to continue with him. I hope for the best and that all will get straightened out.
I think you said just the right thing to your daughter, she wanted to get sympathy from you while she is going through a tough but necessary experience and you plainly let her know that you are no longer rescuing her b/c you know it is not in her best interest. It truly is a life or death situation with her right now. Kudos on being so strong...
I love the Serenity Prayer as well...always good to read over and over again. Paislee
So it would be most frustrating and depressing to know that you had the money and financial affairs in order and they didn't get sent. Definitely a trust betrayed, this happened to my Sis in law, while they were getting out of a financial crunch, she trusted her husband to make payments on a new house they were forced to move into and he instead cashed his pay check and gambled it away before he could even get home which was a distance away. She was quite heartbroken and devastated but carried on, b/c her husband had shown great strength and responsibility before this happened and depression got the best of him and then later a grave illness.
I agree with R to cut the line...but it is up to you and what you know about your husband whether to continue with him. I hope for the best and that all will get straightened out.
I think you said just the right thing to your daughter, she wanted to get sympathy from you while she is going through a tough but necessary experience and you plainly let her know that you are no longer rescuing her b/c you know it is not in her best interest. It truly is a life or death situation with her right now. Kudos on being so strong...
I love the Serenity Prayer as well...always good to read over and over again. Paislee
Re: Dear Diary
Dear Diary,
My DH just wiped out ALL of my phone contacts and email contacts and addresses. My phone history is now showing that the last cell phone call I made was 1/30/10. I have no calls since then saved in my phone. I cannot contact my best friend, as all of her info is gone, and it was stored in my phone and in my computer. Same with several doctors and several other friends. All of my information is gone and he did it. He replaced my contacts with his contacts. So, now I have 500 of his nearest and dearest business contacts in my phone AND ALL OF MY PERSONAL AND MEDICAL AND BUSINESS INFORMATION HAS BEEN PERMANENTLY DELETED.
HE SAYS HE IS SORRY. I am crying and don't know how much more I can take.
J.
My DH just wiped out ALL of my phone contacts and email contacts and addresses. My phone history is now showing that the last cell phone call I made was 1/30/10. I have no calls since then saved in my phone. I cannot contact my best friend, as all of her info is gone, and it was stored in my phone and in my computer. Same with several doctors and several other friends. All of my information is gone and he did it. He replaced my contacts with his contacts. So, now I have 500 of his nearest and dearest business contacts in my phone AND ALL OF MY PERSONAL AND MEDICAL AND BUSINESS INFORMATION HAS BEEN PERMANENTLY DELETED.
HE SAYS HE IS SORRY. I am crying and don't know how much more I can take.
J.
Re: Dear Diary
Has your phone ever been synced? If it is att then call them or take it to a store and you may be able to retive at least some info, I do hope so for ya. The boy sure knows how to .uck things up.
Even if it's not at+t call and ask.
Even if it's not at+t call and ask.
Re: Dear Diary
Yes, my phone syncs with my computer, and it's all gone, and it has been replaced with his contacts, etc. I'll try ATT as soon as I can. I've been on the phone with apple all afternoon and they can't help.
Tomorrow I have a board meeting at the hospital which will keep me very busy. He goes to Washington for the day because he serves on a panel which hears about fraud. He hears the appeals that the companies make. What a joke. i'm not laughing.
Thanks for the tip.
J.
Tomorrow I have a board meeting at the hospital which will keep me very busy. He goes to Washington for the day because he serves on a panel which hears about fraud. He hears the appeals that the companies make. What a joke. i'm not laughing.
Thanks for the tip.
J.
Re: Dear Diary
For what it"s worth, it is about time somebody holds him accountable for his reclessness along with the track record of manipulating your life. I am sorry but if this phone thing did not hapen on purpose then The Sun will not rise tomorroww.
All the I am sorrys do not hold water. J, step back and look at what this addcit is doing to life as you know now as it should be. I pray you pull his plug from feeding off from you. Sorry but it is not right, it really isn"t.
He can cause you to relapse and you can not let that happen. It is no different than the call from your daughter, only difference is the crack involved. Ask your Dr, pleeeeeese.
xo and xo , it is tough love that must prevail. Be safe, I fear this is going to be a rough bridge to cross, you must get to the other side. Let him cross if he can and if you want don't burn the bridge, but young lady understand that it is he that must brake the depression spiral. It will not happen if he can bring you down. Use your words DFWM and live it. Stay in the light.
R
All the I am sorrys do not hold water. J, step back and look at what this addcit is doing to life as you know now as it should be. I pray you pull his plug from feeding off from you. Sorry but it is not right, it really isn"t.
He can cause you to relapse and you can not let that happen. It is no different than the call from your daughter, only difference is the crack involved. Ask your Dr, pleeeeeese.
xo and xo , it is tough love that must prevail. Be safe, I fear this is going to be a rough bridge to cross, you must get to the other side. Let him cross if he can and if you want don't burn the bridge, but young lady understand that it is he that must brake the depression spiral. It will not happen if he can bring you down. Use your words DFWM and live it. Stay in the light.
R
Re: Dear Diary
Silently sending good wishes for you girls. 
