Post
by Paisleegreen » Fri Jul 15, 2011 3:30 pm
Each day I work on overcoming my anxiety, getting along with family members, doing much better with DH. But my adult DD drives me crazy. She is our bookkeeper/girl friday and is mostly rude to me. She really needs to get some counseling, I do so much better when she isn't involved in my business. All her brothers know her to be "bossy" or have expectations as how they should be helping her or doing things in our business.
She isn't sincere in her actions, her brothers notice her phoniness about her. She gets migraines and takes Ambien to sleep. She stresses over many things and now with her doing our books, she really has taken on a lot of stress. She isn't use to seeing the large amounts of money we go through in accounts receivable and payable. I've lived with it for a long time and know the ebb and flow of business and it is stressful.
But now I have a daughter that is very anxious and has a sharp tongue. She pretty much changed from a sweet girl to a very self conscience and rebellious teenager. She moved out when she was 19 to live the way she wanted to and has gone through many heartbreaks. Most of her friends have married and have children, where that has not happened to her yet. She is not lacking in attractiveness and talents, but seems to be like a chameleon.
Anyway, I just needed to get this out as this is part of my anxiety. She seems to feel that her time with DH for the business is high priority so if I come over to ask a question as they are working in my diningroom, I'm treated by her as a huge interruption when I just asked a question. Making it sound like I knew what they were doing before. Anyway, this is one of my problems because DH needs her help and she makes up for his lack of assertiveness in the business.
So I'm also the "sounding board" for the 20 year DS and this DD when they are upset with eachother. I really have no control over what they do. DH just lets it go by...but finally will just tell the "gripers" that this is how it is for now.
Anyway, this is part of the loneliness I sometimes feel. Its just hard going from the main person in my household that had a say in things, to being ignored until they need something.
I will continue working on myself and making life more simple for me, because eventually, things will change, as they always do. DS 20 year old, will eventually move out, either to be with roommates, or get married. DD has her own house and is soon to pick up an old roommate from another state to come live with her. The last time she lived with this roommate, they didn't get along, but she feels that they will be just fine.
This has been the problem, my DD doesn't think deeply. She thinks that they will be just fine, that the problems from the past won't be an issue in the future. She has in the past has chosen roommates without any discussion of "house rules" and later things become a problem and then there is a crisis a lot of drama ensues.
There's been drama when my eldest got married and how my son wasn't doing the same things for his sister as he use to. Well, that's because he is married and his wife is his first priority. So anyway, this is a little bit of the drama we go through with this daughter.
One DR suggested she take a form of a mild antidepressant to keep the migraines away. As the Migraine pills are very expensive. I at first was hesitant on her taking them, as they are hard to come off of, but if she were on them she just might be feel better. Because she is not the type of person to by self help books and read. She follows the Kardashians and soap operas, she eats very little so that she doesn't gain weight and her brothers feel that if she would eat more healthy, her migraines or temperament might be eased.
Anyway, I just needed to tell this story...I've not talked too much about my DD...but I just get tired of her manipulation and snide remarks that DH doesn't hear or do anything about. He needs her help...so he isn't going to say much.
I also realize I have a daughter that is immature in some areas in her life and not to expect her to act like other 31 year old young women that I know. I am grateful that she has refrained from the usage of drugs and alcohol to solve her problems and that she has always held a job in the business world. She has never been ambitious to go to college, except maybe one class that she didn't finish. She does have the capacity to do well in school if that was her hearts desire.
I also know that her real dream is to be a wife and mother...and it is a matter of time that some day she'll find her prince. There are guys out there interested, but she hasn't found the one for her yet. Paislee
But I'm resting and now I'm going to go rest some more! P