I've been battling this for 4 months. I've seen the shrink and I've taken celexa and buspar. I was unsatifised with both and quit them after a couple of months. I want to beat this without medicine but it is so hard. Sometimes it gets real bad, like now, which is why I'm creating this thread. I keep having intrusive thoughts of wanting to harm my loved one in horrible ways. It tears me up because I love her with all of my heart. I've tried to ignore the thoughts, to agree with the thoughts, to welcome them and hope they go away, but it seems nothing works. I have these thoughts every day 24/7. It's so stressful to always have it in the back of my mind. We're apart right now which makes it worse because I can't be with her and see for myself/prove that I won't hurt her. I know I want to spend the rest of my life with her and we've been together for years, but I'm just too afraid of hurting her, lately I haven't even felt like talking to her much. My thoughts are stuff like "What if I lose control and kill her", "What if I'm crazy", and "What if I want to kill her". I know I don't want to kill her but no matter how much I try to convince myself, it keeps popping up into my head. This is the most terrible thing I've ever. I'm constantly on edge, and when it gets bad, I'm very irritable. I'm constantly anxious, even sitting in my recliner trying to relax. I have trouble figuring out sometimes where I want to sit in the house. In my room or the living room. I'm really indecisive. I have some kind of anxiety disorder and I'm pretty sure I have pure O disorder. What is the SECRET to beat this? I feel like It's ruining my life and the only choice I have is to beg the doctor to get me drugged up on xanax. I don't WANT that. I just want to be normal and live a happy life with my soon-2-be wife. Please please PLEASEEEE, Give me some advice. I can read this site a million times but I don't feel comforted unless someone is talking directly to me and my scenario. I don't want to lose my relationship and I don't want to wind up in the nut house.
Thanks...
Please help me get control of my mind. PLEASE advice.
-
NeedAdvice
- Posts: 9
- Joined: Wed Jun 22, 2011 3:18 am
-
NeedAdvice
- Posts: 9
- Joined: Wed Jun 22, 2011 3:18 am
Re: Please help me get control of my mind. PLEASE advice.
UPDATE:
I went to see my doctor today. After discussing a few options, we finally settled with Prozac and Xanax. I'm really hoping that this will help. Even though I didn't want to go the medicine route, I finally had to give in after waking up in a very irritated mood. Wish me luck.
I went to see my doctor today. After discussing a few options, we finally settled with Prozac and Xanax. I'm really hoping that this will help. Even though I didn't want to go the medicine route, I finally had to give in after waking up in a very irritated mood. Wish me luck.
Re: Please help me get control of my mind. PLEASE advice.
Hi there!!
Wow, that's tough, I can totally relate. I was in a relationship where I obsessed continually about whether or not I even liked the guy. Pretty funny when you begin to get to the other side.
Are you currently doing this program? I have found that the KEY is the negative to positive. We don't realize how much negative, self-deating talk we have going on 24/7 in our minds that is UNDERNEATH all these scary thoughts!
The most encouraging thing to realize is that these obsessive scary thoughts are just a side affect of anxiety!
A GREAT question to ask yourself is, "What is REALLY bothering me??"
It may just be boredom!! I know for me, I am a VERY creative, analytical, intelligent person, but when my brain is bored or doesn't have something to "work" on, I start turning inward and scare myself! We ARE getting something out of obsessing. Just like Lucinda teaches in lesson 12, we DO get something out of this anxiety, as hard as that is to grasp!!
It's important to give yourself permission to feel anxious right now, as hard as that is. Speak the truth to yourself, even if you don't feel it, and don't be afraid to tell your significant other either that you are struggling right now with your anxiety, but what you need from her is just some support!
If your spiritual, I would encourage you to try praying and turning these thoughts over to God. I know that He has been my ultimate source of comfort as I am going through my OCD and anxiety.
Also, remember that OCD is just another form of anxiety. It's easy to feel that we have some kind of disability that is outside of our control. But it's actually MORE liberating to realize that it IS within our control, we DO control the way that we think with our negative thoughts! However, you also DON'T want to beat yourself up for your scary thoughts, because they are a side affect of the negative feelings that we have about ourselves, and will go away in time. You CAN'T control them, just let them be as much as you can. DISTRACT yourself!
Don't underestimate the ability of this program to help with pure-O and OCD. Also, don't beat yourself up for taking medication either! I would just encourage you to do the hard work of working on your skills while that medication is helping to take the edge off for you and assist you in that process of growth and managing your thoughts.
Have you ever tried any nutritional doctors or resources? I have a nutritional doctor that I work with, and for my OCD he has me eating turkey and taking tryptophan along with a host of other great vitamins and foods. I wouldn't do that without consulting someone first. But something that you can do naturally is try to incorporate turkey, which has a lot of tryptophan which is a precursor to seratonin. Helps to lift your mood and break those cycles of obsessive thinking. Pork is also good for adrenaline, which most people with anxiety are imbalanced with anyway. If you eat a lot of fish, fish is high in adrenaline, which can give you that rushed feeling.
Keep exercising! Exercise does wonders for me when I am obsessive.
Sorry to write you a novel, I am just passionate about helping others who are going through the same thing I am, and want to help you to get out of this place because I know how awful it is!! I am getting stronger and stronger by practicing everything I've written here, you ARE on the way to recovery!! Keep pressing on.
Wow, that's tough, I can totally relate. I was in a relationship where I obsessed continually about whether or not I even liked the guy. Pretty funny when you begin to get to the other side.
Are you currently doing this program? I have found that the KEY is the negative to positive. We don't realize how much negative, self-deating talk we have going on 24/7 in our minds that is UNDERNEATH all these scary thoughts!
The most encouraging thing to realize is that these obsessive scary thoughts are just a side affect of anxiety!
A GREAT question to ask yourself is, "What is REALLY bothering me??"
It may just be boredom!! I know for me, I am a VERY creative, analytical, intelligent person, but when my brain is bored or doesn't have something to "work" on, I start turning inward and scare myself! We ARE getting something out of obsessing. Just like Lucinda teaches in lesson 12, we DO get something out of this anxiety, as hard as that is to grasp!!
It's important to give yourself permission to feel anxious right now, as hard as that is. Speak the truth to yourself, even if you don't feel it, and don't be afraid to tell your significant other either that you are struggling right now with your anxiety, but what you need from her is just some support!
If your spiritual, I would encourage you to try praying and turning these thoughts over to God. I know that He has been my ultimate source of comfort as I am going through my OCD and anxiety.
Also, remember that OCD is just another form of anxiety. It's easy to feel that we have some kind of disability that is outside of our control. But it's actually MORE liberating to realize that it IS within our control, we DO control the way that we think with our negative thoughts! However, you also DON'T want to beat yourself up for your scary thoughts, because they are a side affect of the negative feelings that we have about ourselves, and will go away in time. You CAN'T control them, just let them be as much as you can. DISTRACT yourself!
Don't underestimate the ability of this program to help with pure-O and OCD. Also, don't beat yourself up for taking medication either! I would just encourage you to do the hard work of working on your skills while that medication is helping to take the edge off for you and assist you in that process of growth and managing your thoughts.
Have you ever tried any nutritional doctors or resources? I have a nutritional doctor that I work with, and for my OCD he has me eating turkey and taking tryptophan along with a host of other great vitamins and foods. I wouldn't do that without consulting someone first. But something that you can do naturally is try to incorporate turkey, which has a lot of tryptophan which is a precursor to seratonin. Helps to lift your mood and break those cycles of obsessive thinking. Pork is also good for adrenaline, which most people with anxiety are imbalanced with anyway. If you eat a lot of fish, fish is high in adrenaline, which can give you that rushed feeling.
Keep exercising! Exercise does wonders for me when I am obsessive.
Sorry to write you a novel, I am just passionate about helping others who are going through the same thing I am, and want to help you to get out of this place because I know how awful it is!! I am getting stronger and stronger by practicing everything I've written here, you ARE on the way to recovery!! Keep pressing on.
-
NeedAdvice
- Posts: 9
- Joined: Wed Jun 22, 2011 3:18 am
Re: Please help me get control of my mind. PLEASE advice.
I appreciate your response very much.
I guess I just have to keep the faith and take my medication. Maybe one day we'll be free from this. It's just so hard sometimes.
I guess I just have to keep the faith and take my medication. Maybe one day we'll be free from this. It's just so hard sometimes.
Re: Please help me get control of my mind. PLEASE advice.
It's DEFINITELY hard sometimes! I can definitely relate. Know that the hard work and temporary anxiety of stretching yourself and trying new skills completely outweighs the anxiety from continuing in the same patterns over and over. We can learn to control our thoughts. 
Thank goodness!
Thank goodness!Re: Please help me get control of my mind. PLEASE advice.
Hello NeedAdvice,
Couldn't help respond to your post in that the thoughts of which you described were one of my symptoms of anxiety. As per your statement "I want to beat this without medicine....". Know that this is an attainable goal that myself and thousands of others have reached. You ask "What is the secret to beat this?". The secret is education, patience, sustained effort and knowledge in action; ultimately developing and sustaining emotional muscle and creating a collaborative continuing care program. No diffrent than an athlete training for a marathon. With education and the implementation of the right training techniques were are capable of performing at a high level. The brain is no diffrent than any other muscle in your body. If trained correctly we are capable of higher order thinking.
Lets starts with some education in that the mere fact these thoughts made you anxious is pure evidence that this is nothing more than a symptom of anxiety. Individuals who act on these thoughts are pathological and find comfort in them. You will never be in that category. All humans have thoughts of which you described. In 1996 Dr. Eric Klinger's research concluded that the average person has about 4,000 distinct thoughts in a sixteen hour day. Approximately thirteen percent were spontaneous ocurring without any intended purpose. Individuals reported that these thoughts were shocking and quite out of character. Research concluded that the average human experiences approximately 520 spontaneous intrusive thoughts each and every day. Fifty percent of the men interviewed reported obscure thoughts of hurting a family member. THIS IS PURE EVIDENCE SUPPORTING THE FACT THAT ALL HUMANS GET OBSCURE THOUGHTS OF WHICH YOU DESCRIBED. Individuals prone to anxiety were born a little more sensitive and analytical than the norm and get into a habit of responding to these thoughts in an irrational "what if?"manner ie "What if I'm crazy"..."What if I want to kill her"..."What if I lose control and kill her...". Leaving us in a circle of anxiety/depression. We consequently question our sanity and reinforce a bunch of irrational conclusions ultimately inserting question marks where God put periods.
Our confidence takes a hit and we question every thought that pops in our head ie." Really indecisive...".
The StressCenter.com tapes indicate that their is often something unresolved in our life we need to address that is the driving force behind these thoughts. Not necessarily true. Reality is you were born sensitive and analytical; two great traits but when used in a counterproductive manner creates anxiety. Our brain digests everything ie. disturbing news reports (Casey Anthony trial); disturbing movies; disturbing news events on the internet, ect.. We were born very sensitive to this negative stimuli thus these thoughts pop up in our head and we chase these thoughts in a counterproductive analytical manner developing and reinforcing a bad habit. Everyone gets obscure thoughts. How we perceive these thoughts and respond is the key. Initially we try to think in terms of eliminating these thoughts. This just results in variations of the thoughts themselves and more anxiety. What happens when you try not to think of the sunset? You think of the sunset. When we perceive these thoughts as alarming we develop a habit of reacting in alarming ways literally thinking ourselves into anxiety. Good new is if we can think ourselves into anxiety we possess the capability to think ourselves out. This starts with knowledge and most importantly putting the knowledge into action.
In regards to Pure O, OCD, ect... these are merely labels. The common denominator is anxiety. Reality is all we are talking about is scary thoughts and anxiety. Nothing more. Know that myself and thousands of others have successfully recovered; re-established our confidence successfully insignificizing this symptom of anxiety. Know that you are capable of the same. I am employed as a coach for the StressCenter.com and have worked with many as per this particular symptom of anxiety. E-mail me anytime through peer support or directly at mikesc21@hotmail.com.. I have alot of resources and knowledge to share. You are a success waiting to happen! God bless and go for it!!
Couldn't help respond to your post in that the thoughts of which you described were one of my symptoms of anxiety. As per your statement "I want to beat this without medicine....". Know that this is an attainable goal that myself and thousands of others have reached. You ask "What is the secret to beat this?". The secret is education, patience, sustained effort and knowledge in action; ultimately developing and sustaining emotional muscle and creating a collaborative continuing care program. No diffrent than an athlete training for a marathon. With education and the implementation of the right training techniques were are capable of performing at a high level. The brain is no diffrent than any other muscle in your body. If trained correctly we are capable of higher order thinking.
Lets starts with some education in that the mere fact these thoughts made you anxious is pure evidence that this is nothing more than a symptom of anxiety. Individuals who act on these thoughts are pathological and find comfort in them. You will never be in that category. All humans have thoughts of which you described. In 1996 Dr. Eric Klinger's research concluded that the average person has about 4,000 distinct thoughts in a sixteen hour day. Approximately thirteen percent were spontaneous ocurring without any intended purpose. Individuals reported that these thoughts were shocking and quite out of character. Research concluded that the average human experiences approximately 520 spontaneous intrusive thoughts each and every day. Fifty percent of the men interviewed reported obscure thoughts of hurting a family member. THIS IS PURE EVIDENCE SUPPORTING THE FACT THAT ALL HUMANS GET OBSCURE THOUGHTS OF WHICH YOU DESCRIBED. Individuals prone to anxiety were born a little more sensitive and analytical than the norm and get into a habit of responding to these thoughts in an irrational "what if?"manner ie "What if I'm crazy"..."What if I want to kill her"..."What if I lose control and kill her...". Leaving us in a circle of anxiety/depression. We consequently question our sanity and reinforce a bunch of irrational conclusions ultimately inserting question marks where God put periods.
Our confidence takes a hit and we question every thought that pops in our head ie." Really indecisive...".
The StressCenter.com tapes indicate that their is often something unresolved in our life we need to address that is the driving force behind these thoughts. Not necessarily true. Reality is you were born sensitive and analytical; two great traits but when used in a counterproductive manner creates anxiety. Our brain digests everything ie. disturbing news reports (Casey Anthony trial); disturbing movies; disturbing news events on the internet, ect.. We were born very sensitive to this negative stimuli thus these thoughts pop up in our head and we chase these thoughts in a counterproductive analytical manner developing and reinforcing a bad habit. Everyone gets obscure thoughts. How we perceive these thoughts and respond is the key. Initially we try to think in terms of eliminating these thoughts. This just results in variations of the thoughts themselves and more anxiety. What happens when you try not to think of the sunset? You think of the sunset. When we perceive these thoughts as alarming we develop a habit of reacting in alarming ways literally thinking ourselves into anxiety. Good new is if we can think ourselves into anxiety we possess the capability to think ourselves out. This starts with knowledge and most importantly putting the knowledge into action.
In regards to Pure O, OCD, ect... these are merely labels. The common denominator is anxiety. Reality is all we are talking about is scary thoughts and anxiety. Nothing more. Know that myself and thousands of others have successfully recovered; re-established our confidence successfully insignificizing this symptom of anxiety. Know that you are capable of the same. I am employed as a coach for the StressCenter.com and have worked with many as per this particular symptom of anxiety. E-mail me anytime through peer support or directly at mikesc21@hotmail.com.. I have alot of resources and knowledge to share. You are a success waiting to happen! God bless and go for it!!
-
NeedAdvice
- Posts: 9
- Joined: Wed Jun 22, 2011 3:18 am
Re: Please help me get control of my mind. PLEASE advice.
Thank you very much, Coach21. You're extremely helpful.
God Bless.
God Bless.
-
Shandy Pants
- Posts: 4
- Joined: Tue Aug 24, 2010 1:38 pm
Re: Please help me get control of my mind. PLEASE advice.
Coach 21, your words really spoke to me and I just had to thank you. Need Advice, I too have been having a really hard time with scary thoughts for years and years. Generally I am very good with using tools to deal with my intrusive thoughts and they usually do not control my life. I have episodes every few months where for one reason or another it gets too hard to keep up on my coping tools and I fall into a horrible cycle of scary thoughts and anxiety. Currently I am having a very difficult time. I just had my first child last week and his first week of life has been full of me having scary thoughts about me harming him, me not loving him, me running away and neglecting him, having him taken away from me, me being put in jail etc. etc. I keep going through these awful scenarios in my head where I do something awful to my baby and he is taken away from me causing me to have to live the rest of my life with guilt, and the disgrace of my family. I hate that I play these horrible scenarios in my head and I know I am catastrophizing and what-if thinking. I keep telling myself that my thoughts are just anxiety and OCD, but for some reason I am having a hard time believing it right now. It's like as mush as I know logically that these thoughts scare me and cause me severe anxiety means that they are just thoughts and I won't act on them, I still have this awful feeling that maybe I am really a monster inside and I will act on these thoughts and that's what keeps them coming back and controlling my life. It's just been really hard. Generally I let me thoughts come and go as they please and I force myself to under react to them. I also focus on calming my physical symptoms of anxiety which usually helps me remove focus from my scary thoughts. Right now I need to practice these tools so I can get a hold of my scary thoughts again. Another thing that has helped in the past is to not label my thoughts. For example, don't tell yourself you are having a thought about harming your significant other, but instead every time you have a scary thought just tell your self, I'm having an OCD thought, or just say, this is only anxiety/OCD. I wish you luck with this difficult situation. I hope it comforts you to know that you are not alone. I find a lot of comfort in knowing that I am not alone and thank you for posting your struggle. A website I have found very helpful is www.ocdonline.com The website has a page of success stories that I have found very comforting to me.
-
NeedAdvice
- Posts: 9
- Joined: Wed Jun 22, 2011 3:18 am
Re: Please help me get control of my mind. PLEASE advice.
Thank you for responding to me.
I appreciate it and will look at the site.
I appreciate it and will look at the site.
Re: Please help me get control of my mind. PLEASE advice.
I don't know if this helps too, but something I was thinking as I was reading your post Shandy Pants is to remember that when we are in a good spot, where we can brush these thoughts aside, is when we see these things for what they are and can laugh at them. So it may be helpful to remind ourselves of this and not give the thoughts any value when we find ourselves stuck in that rut, because we'll come out again and just be laughing at them anyway and seeing how silly they really are.
For me, something that's been very helpful is to realize that my brain WANTS to obsess, I have to realize that I've fallen back into this bad pattern again, and so OF COURSE I am going to be nervous and anxious about my thoughts, I've gotten myself in this anxious, worried state and back into this groove! When we are in this anxious, obsessive spot, our brain is STUCK in that PATTERN. It's a biochemical thing! I can actually FEEL the pull to get back into the obsessive thought, it's like an itch that my brain wants to scratch, but I HAVE to put on the breaks and say NO, this is a bad habit, it's NOT healthy or right, I can't see that clearly right now, but I WILL when I practice my skills for a few days and take care of myself. It's just anxiety, I always come out of it.
Practice is key. Try getting in front of the mirror and speaking firmly to yourself too. I have to do this sometimes. Visualize yourself jumping out of the circle of the obsessive thoughts. Get yourself involved in something that takes your mind off of it. Speak the truth even though you don't feel it or believe it!
For me, something that's been very helpful is to realize that my brain WANTS to obsess, I have to realize that I've fallen back into this bad pattern again, and so OF COURSE I am going to be nervous and anxious about my thoughts, I've gotten myself in this anxious, worried state and back into this groove! When we are in this anxious, obsessive spot, our brain is STUCK in that PATTERN. It's a biochemical thing! I can actually FEEL the pull to get back into the obsessive thought, it's like an itch that my brain wants to scratch, but I HAVE to put on the breaks and say NO, this is a bad habit, it's NOT healthy or right, I can't see that clearly right now, but I WILL when I practice my skills for a few days and take care of myself. It's just anxiety, I always come out of it.
Practice is key. Try getting in front of the mirror and speaking firmly to yourself too. I have to do this sometimes. Visualize yourself jumping out of the circle of the obsessive thoughts. Get yourself involved in something that takes your mind off of it. Speak the truth even though you don't feel it or believe it!