Starting today.

[USNcorpsman]

I'm not sure what I wanted to write here but I wanted to share a bit of my story. I am a senior corpsman stationed with Marines on Camp Pendleton and shortly after returning from Iraq in 2005 I had what I now know was my first panic attack. I was driving in the back of a 7-ton truck from Camp Wilson to mainside on 29 Palms. I was sitting in the back with all my gear on and enjoying the day when I suddenly felt like I needed to get out of the truck. I was having trouble breathing and felt lightheaded. I could feel my heart racing and nauseated. Before the truck had even stopped I had already had my heavy protective gear and helmet off. I jumped out of the back and I looked for a place to escape and found a bathroom with a small locker room and shower on the second floor of the maintenece building where we had stopped. I took off my cammie top and laid on the cool tile of the shower floor and thought I was having a heart attack. Everytime I tried to get up and walk back outside to my guys I felt like dying. I eventually made my way down to them and said "something is wrong." They took me to the ER on base and I was worked up for a cardiac condition. I eventually left and spent the night sleeping in the maintenence building and was a complete wreck. I got up and paced around all night contsantly having trouble keeping my mind from racing and wondering if I was crazy or going to die. They brought me back to Camp Pendleton the next day and I spent the next two years hiding this from people as my panic got worse and worse. Now it has been several years and I still struggle. I am still in the military but have been placed on a physical evaluation board because I cant take orders anywhere because I have panic attacks anywhere more than 10 miles from my house. Anything new or far from home is a challenge. I have hade weekly appointments with a doctor and completed PTSD/anxiety group therapy that was great however the effects did not last. This is my last resort to gain control of my life.

[Ottoman]

Just saw your post - I will tell you a bit of my story... but I really want to tell you that things will improve and you shouldnt be deciding that this is your last resort.

I have had constant low level anxiety all of my life and didnt know it until 6 months ago when I moved from a small town to a larger city - I felt like I was going crazy... I couldnt think or focus and just wanted to crawl into a dark corner 24/7. I spoke to my new boss about it and he encouraged me to work through it. I didnt think I could...but now 6 months later I am having victories most of the time. I'm no expert but if you like, try these few things...

in week 2 there are 6 items - when I read them this took away 50% of the pain of my anxiety, I realized that it is no going to kill me and that I'll get past it.

Another thing I did was read Peter McWilliams you cant afford a Negative thought. This really changed my life, wow, its definately worth reading. It taught me so much, things like Joy and love are verbs....when you actively practice them (even though you dont feel like it) you get into an upward spiral and they multiply. Another is that I cant totally depend on anything to fix me... for one, life is an adventure and I need to find my way through.... If you have emotional pain like anxiety attacks then something is wrong in your life - read the book, it will help as well as the course.

you know, just when I think I'm healed and I get lazy and dont have my prayer time in the morning, or focus on positive visualizations or read empowering books or quotes, then I can slide back into misery very quickly as I'm just learning to walk. If I had listened to the anxiety years ago the alarm would not have gotten so loud and paralyzing before I took notice.

I hope some of that helps....I am 45 years old

best of luck - you're not alone man

[Ottoman]

a couple of other things I did as well....

cut caffeine out
started excercising daily
had daily paryer and quiet time
started purposely doing everything slower in my life
listened to self help CDs when I drove

[USNcorpsman]

Thanks for the advice and the info. I am going to read that book tonight. I just started going to church with a friend and that has helped me very much. I have started to pray and talk with God alot also and I am finding comfort in Him also.

[THH]

USN,
I want to first thank you for serving, protecting our country and all of us! THANK YOU!

It sounds like you will benefit with this program. I can tell you, yep, you have anxiety and it built to a panic attack! Do you have this program? If you do GREAT, If you don't Look for "THE CHALLENGE" in each of the sessions. We post the carry cards, videos, audios the only thing you won't have is the guide book. It all is very helpful so if you can afford the program I would recommend it.

The program helps me break down my thoughts so I can see where I get into trouble. It is not something you do a few times and your all back on track. It has to become a life style. I have learned that I am a anxious person, sensitive, and I will be prone to be a negative thinker. What ifing and all the things that are keeping me in a unhealthy state of mind. Change your thoughts change your life, is really true. It sounds so simple but it really takes practice, patience, looking for new positive things to get excited about. Having a belief in a higher being helps me as well.
This program helps you look at how you are feeling inside, and teaches you how to deal with change by giving you life skills. Anxiety does not come from out side things, it comes from how we react or feel about these things or changes.

Good luck to you! I hope this helps in some way and God Bless. Hope you feel better soon.

[rn1975]

USN,

I too thank you for serving our country:-) I can't imaging what you have been through - you have been through a lot. Be patient with yourself and don't think this is your last resort. I hope you find what you are looking for with this program. I am beginning the program this week as well and I have a very good feeling about it.

Good Luck:-)
rn1975

[Lynn2003]

USN,

I appreciate your service to our country. I spent 26 years in the Air Force and 13 of those years were spent helping enlisted people deal with their personal issues. You mentioned you hid your axiety attacks from the military for two years. Which probably created more axiety trying to keep your job and not be discharged. I hope the military does the right thing and takes care of you, so that you may be relieved of that stress.
Please do not think this program is your last resort. You sound very intelligent and articulate and have so much more to offer society and the people who are close to you. It is important for you to know that you have touched mine and my husband's life already, by reading your post.
Sharing your experience gives us strength to let down our guard and look at our situation candidly.
Thank you and we hope you will keep writing in this forum. It helps to have someone else to walk with.

Lynn and Lee