constantly comparing myself to others

[missobsessive]

I've noticed lately that I keep getting caught up in comparing myself a lot to others, and am always coming up short. I keep feeling like I'm not good enough.

I think about my family and compare it to the rest of my family and feel like they are always better, they do more, have more friends, etc, etc, etc. Then I get a really guilty feeling because I think about my dad and feel ssoooo bad and guilty for having these these thoughts/feelings because I love my dad so much and we are very close, and he's always been there for me and has done so much for me..

I just don't know how to shake these thoughts/feelings and feel more confident with what I have and to not care so much about what other people have or think (or what I assume they are thinking). I don't know how to stop comparing myself to others. Or when I do compare myself, to stop feeling inadequate.

Blaa, has anybody else dealt with this and was able to overcome it?

[Island boy]

What's up miss obsessive? I feel the exact same way... I have social anxiety disorder... and I can't remember the last time I met someone I thought I was good enough for. I think the only way to change this is to be patient and focus on doing what the course says. I'm spending another week on session 3 because I'm convinced this is the root of all our problems... Aloha!

[Paisleegreen]

Yep, I think many of us get into this obsession of comparing ourselves to others, and I think it is worse due to the type of TV shows that are on right now and the Social Networks where people are posting pictures of themselves having fun, etc. We want to share with others our lives, but does everyone want to see all the pics of their relatives having fun when they aren't?

[shimdan]

This really gets me down too. I have a sister in law who is just so good ( saying that in a positive way) and another sister in law who is so pretty and popular. Just have to accept I will never measure up no matter how hard I try. Most of the times this works but sometimes I get stuck and get down.

[knitthis]

I do the same things too. I notice that I pick one or two people in my life and constantly think about what they specifically would think about my wardrobe or my house, etc. It's ridiculous. I realized recently that these people become my imaginary judges or critics. And, of course, these are never positive people, in fact I often don't even like them that much. So I decided as one of my goals is to try to simply be me, and when I start the comparison game I stop and say that it doesn't matter. I don't even know what these people think, and in the end, I don't care. It has helped, but it takes constant going over my thoughts. They are thoughts for the "negative notebook" (which I noticed that I dont use as much , am I having fewer negative thoughts or just not catching them I wonder). Anyhow, just keep telling yourself that it doesn't matter , your life is all you need to be concerned with. No one is keeping tabs, and if perchance someone is, that's their problem. We can do this!

[praying4sun]

"my imaginary judges or critics" i like that, i have those too! i am comparing myself to others rignt now... i am obssesively thinking and wondering why i am so different and no one likes me, or why other people like certain people better than me. It sucks, i am cool and fun girl and capable of having good friends who like me for who i am.... but i let the negative thoughts speak louder. i have listened to the relaxation cd three times in a row lol, i am trying so hard to think positive about myself and trying really hard to like myself..... but it feels like the anxiety and all those negative thoughts want to creep back in. In a nutshell right now I am battling with my brain. POSITIVE vs NEGATIVE!!!

i understand what you are saying.... i am just like you!

[asammy]

It's such a relief to know others do this! I've done this all my life and I'm realizing now that it's a result of super high expectations of myself. Isn't the point of having friends that their different than yourself? this is definitely my biggest challenge and its encouraging to know that others are working on it too we can do this!

[star19]

Hi guys,i can relate to comparing ourselves to others and not measuring up! But if you think about it it's kind of pointless.In whatever we do in life whether its family,career,sports, looks, money whatever... some people are going to be better than we are and some people aren't going to be as good as we are! nobody is perfect at everything.Also remember we are all unique creatures that have different gifts-sense of humor,compassion,creativty whatever it may be! So lets be a little kinder to ourselves!