Hi R., and P. and T.,
I've been contemplating R's words to me off and on through out the evening. I'm not sure if I'm being defensive or
if I just have a shield up and don't want to face more emotional pain.
T. and R. no my history of "no privacy" and my struggle with Brooke and my struggle as a child, so luckily I don't have to reiterate any of my baggage.
The truth is my DH is being very sweet and trying very hard. The fact that he read the book, when both authors are such a threat to him was huge. He is being supportive, if not slightly suffocating re: my new job, and he isn't insisting that I travel to La Quinta with him this month. He knows how much working and earning my way means to me.
So, I deserves "kudos" for his efforts. He really is trying and I'm taking it at face value right now. I don't want any intense conversations yet, because my psychiatrist says I'm too ambivalent and have other priorities. Job, learning to live within my means, teach my daughter the value of working hard and the true meaning of success, and of course, Brooke.
I just want you to know he isn't a monster. Just a very mixed up person, who loves me very much. Soon I will have a week where he will be away and I will be working non stop.
Anyway, I want you to know that he is being nice to me and doesn't seem to have alterior (sp) motives, and I'm certainly not perfect. I have to learn to live within my means, and that will be hard. Julie is going to help me with tricks she has learned as far as saving money.
Babbling. I miss Marilyn. I can't seem to get her to return my emails. I will try again tomorrow.
R., Polish your cchrome. chrome is shiny. and not so shiny sometimes.
love,
J.
Changes, How do we make them?
Re: Changes, How do we make them?
too many typos to count, above. "he deserves kudos"....
Re: Changes, How do we make them?
Thanks Paislee and "rest" is important. So is alot of water. My mother is showing signs of dimentia or alzheimers.
As I read and I believe it's toll on us comes from to much unmanaged stress of dealing with everyday tasks. Not really enageing or exerciseing all the areas of the mind including the body but mostly actual mind exercising. As a example, Staying busy and never leaving the house basically engulfed in their or our own little worlds, the dimensions of the world outside can fade thus our worlds feed on itself. One looses grounding so to speak Dr's will say the more active you exercise the mind with different things the better.
I tend to want to think everything all the time, more than likely I am a canidate. Keeping my mind focased on one thing at a time is rare. Alot of things come into play that developed my personality and the constantly juggleing wears us down, especially if things build up unfinished. There is no doub't there is many reasons for it and as I watch I see her want to be meaningfull. I wish the other 2 siblings would help instead of treating her like a child.
Back to the point before I got into .... Paislee it must be a very anxious breeding thoughts as you see it in your older sister and then to wonder. I know for a fact that the internet and some internet buddies have enabled me to see a life I thought was never there.
I am convinced Tina has the correct perscription for evadeing the inevitable. All around vitality, yes.
It gets better every day when we engage outside of ourselves.
Meds, nourishment, exercise, habits, everything comes into play when it comes to our stamina.
Thanks for listening Ladies.
As I read and I believe it's toll on us comes from to much unmanaged stress of dealing with everyday tasks. Not really enageing or exerciseing all the areas of the mind including the body but mostly actual mind exercising. As a example, Staying busy and never leaving the house basically engulfed in their or our own little worlds, the dimensions of the world outside can fade thus our worlds feed on itself. One looses grounding so to speak Dr's will say the more active you exercise the mind with different things the better.
I tend to want to think everything all the time, more than likely I am a canidate. Keeping my mind focased on one thing at a time is rare. Alot of things come into play that developed my personality and the constantly juggleing wears us down, especially if things build up unfinished. There is no doub't there is many reasons for it and as I watch I see her want to be meaningfull. I wish the other 2 siblings would help instead of treating her like a child.
Back to the point before I got into .... Paislee it must be a very anxious breeding thoughts as you see it in your older sister and then to wonder. I know for a fact that the internet and some internet buddies have enabled me to see a life I thought was never there.
I am convinced Tina has the correct perscription for evadeing the inevitable. All around vitality, yes.
It gets better every day when we engage outside of ourselves.
Meds, nourishment, exercise, habits, everything comes into play when it comes to our stamina.
Thanks for listening Ladies.
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tina martin
- Posts: 792
- Joined: Sun Nov 14, 2010 9:24 pm
Re: Changes, How do we make them?
Thank you for your confidence, J. I'm sure in there punching, but genes are formidable and trump all else in my view. Am with you re Brooke. It is an ongoing tragic situation. Some sign from her to help herself would mean so much. I always believe she will reclaim her life.
If the intimacy matter refers to conversation, maybe we can examine expectations and experiences in conversation. R ingeniously takes the 5th for starters, but then works it out. Paislee's DH has his issue. Mine claims he can multi task while he reads the paper. The real questions may be: Do both of you want this to work? Can you deal with the past? Can you be friends? Just exploring.
Your sister, Paislee, has clearly had one terrible time meaning to do good. I tend to believe that Alzheimer's is genetic and biological in origin. Stress does do much damage, but not sure about the brain. One thing is for sure: it is a ravaging disease that only progresses in one direction. Much research is being done on the brain, so therein rests the hope.
R, I believed as you do and as others maintain (re mental decline) that we can help ourself in various ways. I'll still do everything, but I have mellowed in that regard. The way my parents went, the way my brother is going is likely to be my destiny, genetically. I would say your mother can't help herself and it is actually best to just go along with her. Example: today my brother told me he is in one place when he is not there. I corrected him and then asked where he is. He got upset with me. I know how hard it is to accept the harsh realities.
If the intimacy matter refers to conversation, maybe we can examine expectations and experiences in conversation. R ingeniously takes the 5th for starters, but then works it out. Paislee's DH has his issue. Mine claims he can multi task while he reads the paper. The real questions may be: Do both of you want this to work? Can you deal with the past? Can you be friends? Just exploring.
Your sister, Paislee, has clearly had one terrible time meaning to do good. I tend to believe that Alzheimer's is genetic and biological in origin. Stress does do much damage, but not sure about the brain. One thing is for sure: it is a ravaging disease that only progresses in one direction. Much research is being done on the brain, so therein rests the hope.
R, I believed as you do and as others maintain (re mental decline) that we can help ourself in various ways. I'll still do everything, but I have mellowed in that regard. The way my parents went, the way my brother is going is likely to be my destiny, genetically. I would say your mother can't help herself and it is actually best to just go along with her. Example: today my brother told me he is in one place when he is not there. I corrected him and then asked where he is. He got upset with me. I know how hard it is to accept the harsh realities.
Re: Changes, How do we make them?
J, I am abit hardcore and I am sorry to make you feel down. I wish you and yours life the best outcome and I really believe it can and all my questions are to strengthen you as waves of turmoil come at you. Your Truth is your lifeline and you have climbed along ways. I would chew nails and spit carpet tacks to stop anyone from tangleing your rope within my ability.
I am coming from a Males perspective and I am no saint at proper ediquitte when it comes to treating a Women as needed all the time. I am better than ever were, hehe
I have alot of exsperiance with folks with addictions and disfunctional lives and also very healthy and astute lives.9 kids on one side and 11 on the other, there is not many senarios that would surprise me. I also see the stages of actions. I was more than likely a lot like your H in times past. It has taken it's toll.
I did finally see it was me that was angry at me for others doings. I had to learn to like myself, much like you are currently.
Trust but verify and do so with caution.
I just want to say that I hope God or whatever it is works and touches him with the ability to see the change needed and want that for his and your lives. A year or two down the road if it is to be there you will see it in his eyes and his heart.
You go girl, keep on keeping on.
To clarify I am a hardcore not a abit.
I am coming from a Males perspective and I am no saint at proper ediquitte when it comes to treating a Women as needed all the time. I am better than ever were, hehe
I have alot of exsperiance with folks with addictions and disfunctional lives and also very healthy and astute lives.9 kids on one side and 11 on the other, there is not many senarios that would surprise me. I also see the stages of actions. I was more than likely a lot like your H in times past. It has taken it's toll.
I did finally see it was me that was angry at me for others doings. I had to learn to like myself, much like you are currently.
Trust but verify and do so with caution.
I just want to say that I hope God or whatever it is works and touches him with the ability to see the change needed and want that for his and your lives. A year or two down the road if it is to be there you will see it in his eyes and his heart.
You go girl, keep on keeping on.
To clarify I am a hardcore not a abit.
Re: Changes, How do we make them?
Tina it is so easy to attemp to correct their thinking. I have found that if I lead her to another thougtht or let her go on with her " whats on her mind at the moment thought" and than either ignre it or let her catch the mistake it doesn't cause the reaction for them to defend. If that happens the anger she gets not being able to be sure just spirals. It would take days after her and my sister would get into pissing contests at who is right or wrong. At times I just want to smack her for agitating. Her being sis.
It is a very sad way to degrade. Everything in this world deteriorates in time.
It is a very sad way to degrade. Everything in this world deteriorates in time.
Re: Changes, How do we make them?
Hi All,
Wow, what a morning of news to wake up to. I am praying for all people in Japan and also all people harm's way.
Regarding my DH, I am going to follow my psychiatrist's help. I see her once a week and she doesn't think I am ready or should be engaging in any kind of detailed/intimate conversation with my husband right at this moment, because I am so easily persuaded and I am only focusing on me and my needs. (not selfish, just necessary)
I am very please with my progress at work, and am told daily that I am way ahead of the curve. My goal is to advance slowly but surly in my position, and I think it is not an unreasonable goal.
My husband will have to find a way to help himself. I will help him as much as I can, but I am MY number one priority.
Last night's big topic was why I can't take a week off from work to go on vacation with him. That about sums things up.
I found a great site if anyone is interested that sends you prepaid packaging and postage for you to send in all of your old electronics. Cell phones, laptops, cameras, etc, and they send you a check.
Money is good, when you start finding ways to make it.
Happy Friday.
Love,
J.
Wow, what a morning of news to wake up to. I am praying for all people in Japan and also all people harm's way.
Regarding my DH, I am going to follow my psychiatrist's help. I see her once a week and she doesn't think I am ready or should be engaging in any kind of detailed/intimate conversation with my husband right at this moment, because I am so easily persuaded and I am only focusing on me and my needs. (not selfish, just necessary)
I am very please with my progress at work, and am told daily that I am way ahead of the curve. My goal is to advance slowly but surly in my position, and I think it is not an unreasonable goal.
My husband will have to find a way to help himself. I will help him as much as I can, but I am MY number one priority.
Last night's big topic was why I can't take a week off from work to go on vacation with him. That about sums things up.
I found a great site if anyone is interested that sends you prepaid packaging and postage for you to send in all of your old electronics. Cell phones, laptops, cameras, etc, and they send you a check.
Money is good, when you start finding ways to make it.
Happy Friday.
Love,
J.
Re: Changes, How do we make them?
Tina,
Are you out hiking at the base of the Rocky Mountains? Are you at your exercise stations? Are you visiting your brother?
It's not like you not to post, so I'm a little concerned.
Love,
J.
Are you out hiking at the base of the Rocky Mountains? Are you at your exercise stations? Are you visiting your brother?
It's not like you not to post, so I'm a little concerned.
Love,
J.
Re: Changes, How do we make them?
PS
In keeping with the topic of the post, "Change, and how do we go about it" I have learned that momentum is very important.
I have been putting off cleaning out 3 storage units for EVER, much to my psychiatrist's chagrin. Well, with my newly earned pay checks, and another site that I found that is WONDERFUL, (they send you all packaging and postage for your old electronics, along with a check) I spent a few hours today looking for someone who can help me sell all of my storage items on ebay.
She lives in my town, and has first rate experience on ebay. OMG, I just really discovered ebay. Amazing savings. Anyway, She is going to come and itemize my belongings in storage, photograph them, sell them and and ship them. We just have to agree to a price. The big savings will be in no more storage fees and also hopefully some money for my belongings. I have beautiful belongings, but it is time to let go.....
Change.
In keeping with the topic of the post, "Change, and how do we go about it" I have learned that momentum is very important.
I have been putting off cleaning out 3 storage units for EVER, much to my psychiatrist's chagrin. Well, with my newly earned pay checks, and another site that I found that is WONDERFUL, (they send you all packaging and postage for your old electronics, along with a check) I spent a few hours today looking for someone who can help me sell all of my storage items on ebay.
She lives in my town, and has first rate experience on ebay. OMG, I just really discovered ebay. Amazing savings. Anyway, She is going to come and itemize my belongings in storage, photograph them, sell them and and ship them. We just have to agree to a price. The big savings will be in no more storage fees and also hopefully some money for my belongings. I have beautiful belongings, but it is time to let go.....
Change.
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tina martin
- Posts: 792
- Joined: Sun Nov 14, 2010 9:24 pm
Re: Changes, How do we make them?
Wonderful, wonderful news. It's tough to do these things: make hard decisions and get things done practically. Must make you feel very good.
This is in keeping with where you are J. You have accomplished so much, it is dazzling. Soon you'll leave us and I'll keep thinking about you as I did in the intervals. There were several. But, never be concerned. I have my remembrances, though, in truth, I'm curious about the detours. What happened with _ _ _ _ _? What happened with _ _ _? What happened with _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ ? What happened with _ _ _ _? Hope you are smiling and saying, "None of your business." I accept that. Acceptance (it replaced tolerance, you know).
Your posts brightened the day for me. Hug yourself and I'll enclose it with mine.
This is in keeping with where you are J. You have accomplished so much, it is dazzling. Soon you'll leave us and I'll keep thinking about you as I did in the intervals. There were several. But, never be concerned. I have my remembrances, though, in truth, I'm curious about the detours. What happened with _ _ _ _ _? What happened with _ _ _? What happened with _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ ? What happened with _ _ _ _? Hope you are smiling and saying, "None of your business." I accept that. Acceptance (it replaced tolerance, you know).
Your posts brightened the day for me. Hug yourself and I'll enclose it with mine.