I'm committing to restarting the program

bna · Post by **bna** » Mon Nov 24, 2008 10:00 am

Hello everyone. I am committing to restarting the program today. I finished last Spring and it has helped tremendously. I can't believe i've come so far.

My autumn has been stressful with some family and health issues. I've began to notice myself obessessing over the past and mistakes i have made. I took that as asignal that I need to restart my program.

Today while driving, I had a near accident. The light ahead of me turned yellow as I approached the light. I stopped as this light is known to turn red quickly. the car beside shot through the yellow light. The SUV behind me must not have realized that I had stopped and he swerved to avoid rear ending me into traffic, he swerved and ran the red light.

Initially, I was angry, but I don't know if it was the adrenaline rush or the near accident, but the negative anxiety producing thoughts began. I proceeded to beat myself up all the way home over it. That I had made a mistake stopping and how I could have caused a serious accident. By the time I got home I was a nervous wreak.

I called my husband frantic. He thought I was I was trying to control all the other drivers. He said I did what I thought was right at the time and I need to let it go.

I thought about it and decided he was right. I need to float through the adrenaline rush. I need to be compassionate to myself and I need to restart the program. So here goes.

Thanks for listening. take care and God Bless.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Mon Nov 24, 2008 11:43 am

bna,
You did what was right at the time. The person behind you is supposed to be paying attention to the car in front of them, especially at a yellow light- some cars go for it and some don't. What you did was safe, the person behind you was probably just having a panic attack and spacing out

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Mon Nov 24, 2008 12:06 pm

bna:
During the winter months, anxiety & depression will always get worse. (some doctors believe is because of less sun light} Anyway you did the right thing to restart the program before things get worse. Hang in there!

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Mon Nov 24, 2008 12:28 pm

Yes, I forgot to say welcome back and good job in recognizing your need to restart and taking action. Good job in taking care of yourself.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Tue Nov 25, 2008 12:53 pm

Thank you all for your kind and supportive posts. I really appreciate them.

Here I am day # 2 of having restarted program. I went this am for breast MRI. I had my annual Mammogram a few weeks ago, it came back abnormal. My sister had history of DCIS, breast cancer category, a few years ago, Thank God, she is OK. Now anything abnormal on my mamms and I am sent for further testing. Last year I had a breast biopsy, which Thank God, was benign.

The stress of that last year resulted in startign this program, which has been a life transforming process for me.

My anxiety has been increasing over the last several weeks with obessessive thinking and scarying myself with negative scary thoughts so I decided this was it. It was time to pull out all my materials and recommit to helping myself before it reached to my feeling like I did last year.

I used my breathing and calming self talk to get me through the MRI this am. I felt claustrophobic in the tunnel and the small room that the machine was in. I just closed my eyes before the test began and prayed to God for strength. The worse part was not being able to move. I felt the overwhelming need to run but I told myself to breathe and Thank God i got through it.

I am proud of myself and my accomplishment for today. We all have what it takes to overcome and manage our anxiety. We can do it.

I already feel stronger since restarting this program. It does work. Just take it one day at a time. Take care and God Bless.