Suicidal Thoughts

deedee00 · Post by **deedee00** » Sun Jul 29, 2007 2:45 pm

thanks Cindy

lava7777 · Post by **lava7777** » Sun Jul 29, 2007 2:54 pm

Hugs GE

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Mon Jul 30, 2007 2:51 am

Thanks GE. And Cindy again. And everybody.

It's so helpful to get support and encouragement from others who have been there.

I really appreciate it.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Mon Jul 30, 2007 3:38 am

oh my oh my oh my!
I have too had these scary thoughts about hurting and killing myself.
I am too familaiar with them, although I was NEVER suicidal, it was just ANXIETY!
It si very normal for people with this condition to obsess about this. There is a difference with people like us who think these scary thoughts and the people who are truly depressd an no longer wnat to live.
That thought of no longer wanting to live is NOT something I want.
Whenever that thought of killing myself comes up, becasue yes it still is a bad habit for me even though I have come so so far, I think, no I know this is not what I WANT, it just scares me. I then think of something I truly WANT to do, like go on my vacation to northern Michigan next month with my boyfriend, babysit my neice, go to the movies,continue to lose weight, play with my dog, hang with my friends, begin my new job, the list goes on and on and on.
I just find that shifting that type of thinking to this type of thinking really does put things into perspective and you can just feel the difference in the things you DO NOT want to do like, suicide, and the things you do want to do, like LIVE Life!!!!!
Make any sense?
ANd yes it is so very normal to replace one scary thoguht with an even more terrifying thought. That is becasue once you overcome the fear of one and it no longer scares you then your mond makes up anopther one to scare you because scaring yourself is a really BAD habit that we have created.
I have a cute story!
SO this past weekend my boyfriend and I had to go to an out of town wedding. I was so excited to get away and really realized how far I 've come over the past year and a half. I am no loger scared of things that I used to be scared of before!! yay!!! Im exciited to go!!
We drive tow hours awasy and get into the hotel room and get ready for the wedding. Well we have a few minutes to relax and get dressed. I begin to have that too familiar feeling of apprehension like something bad is going to happen. "What if I hurt my bf? what if I kill myslef???"
Well I then realized that these thoughts aren't true. They are simply my old bad habit that I used to do whever I felt out of my comfort zone. (being out of town in a hotel that I wasn't familiar with)
Silly silly silly!
We went to the wedding and had a great time.
Then yestaerday we were just hanging out bbqing and playign with my dog.
I felt too relaxed, like I needed to be on guard .... well the what if's came again!
becasue my mond doesn;t like relaxing, it should be catastrophizing right? what ifing about hurting ohters or myself? Not reading a book on the patio and relaxing and enjoying the beautiful sunset and my wonderful yellow lab and amazing boyfriend. I should be obsessing about something that will never happen in mu life!
Make sense yet???
just another bad habit, and once I can recognize it for that and NOT FIGHT it and just ACCEPt that this is something I used to do becasue I did n;t know how to relax.!
Now I can..
AHHHHHHHHHHHH, how good it feels!!!
you will get there I promise you!!!!
take care all of yoU!!!!

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Mon Jul 30, 2007 3:41 am

I typ so fast becasue I get excited to share adn then there are so many typos.
SOrry!

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Mon Jul 30, 2007 3:46 am

Wow. This thread is just what I needed! I am in the same situation as Brooke, and have been so for a while. I decided to visit the forums today to ask for help, and here it is on the front page. Brooke, I want you to know you are certainly not alone in this, and this is just a triumph waiting to happen for us.

Shifrah · Post by **Shifrah** » Mon Jul 30, 2007 5:37 am

Seeing Suicidal or hearing about someone else use to scare me to death but now it isn't so bad. The knife thought has gotten better for me. I am just trying not to control the fear and let it pass. I am working on that positive dialogue and telling myself thoughts just thoughts and it has eased up on me some but like some of you guys it still lingers and jumps out of the blue through out the day. If anyone can help with this how long when you guys started feeling some better did it take for these thoughts to almost completely go away? I have had the hardest time with week 3 because it is so hard to be positive when you have been negative for a long time. Did any of you just go on to the next tape even though you didn't feel like you mastered the week you were on?

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Mon Jul 30, 2007 7:45 am

I have these quite a bit-but I am wondering if it is my medication that is making me this way-but I guess if it was the medication making me this way I would be comforted by the thoughts right? Because by no means am I comforted by them I get scared and nervous just typing about them-I am doing better with the self talk. I was on Prozac to start off with when I was 18 and didn't have these thoughts. I used to have these thoughts maybe once a year one time only and ignore it-but then I started on Zoloft and its like it struck a cord with me that once a year thought became an everyday thing-I was still scared of it because I didn't know what was going on. Now I am back on Prozac but these thoughts are still there-so can someone tell me if this is the medication Prozac or just these obsessive scarey thoughts that we all suffer from. I hate them and I want my thinking to go back to how it was before the Zoloft-thanks.
Gena

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Mon Jul 30, 2007 8:08 am

Hi Sara's mom. I know what you are going through and it can be so frustrating. I hated the battles I had with those unwanted thoughts and only recently overcame them. Go to the library and read the book by Sam Obitz called Been There, Done That? DO THIS! It's a short book and the TEA form exercise in that book is what helped me and it has two chapters specifically on suicidal thoughts toward the end of the book that were an amazing help to me. You can and will get rid of them!

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Mon Jul 30, 2007 9:28 am

Thanks angell for sharing that story. When does the replacing one scary thought with another stop? Or is this how it's going to be forever?

RL, we HAVE TO hold on to hope and BELIEVE that we WILL overcome this! You're right.

WW, I will get that book and read it. I'll do just about anything if it might help.

Thanks everyone.