Separation from the "stressor"

xl_Dean_lx · Post by **xl_Dean_lx** » Mon Sep 08, 2008 6:20 am

I'm curious if anyone that has suffered from stress and all its terrible symptoms, found relief once they removed themselves from the stressor? For instance, has anyone identified a job as being the root cause of their stress and suffered until they finally quit and found a more pleasant environment to work in? This example could also be use for relationships too.

I know my mother-in-law used to get really bad migraines to the point they would make her nauseas. She suffered with this for a while and found relief once she seperated from her ex-husband. Now, there are no more migraines and stress symptoms.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Mon Sep 08, 2008 6:37 am

I'm curious about this too. I'm new to this program and these feelings all together. Things started getting this way for me about 2 months ago and have gotten a little worse everyday. I'm in the middle of some marital problems and I'm wondering if trying to stay together when it seems like I'm the only one trying to save my marriage right now is the answer. Is it healthy to keep fighting for what you love if it seems like a hopeless situation? Do I ask him to leave because every time I'm around him I want to cry for what we lost? Like I said I'm new to all this. Six months ago I was a happy, confident person who could cope with most things now everything has changed and I've lost control. My mom suffers from alcoholism and depression and growing up my siblings and I went through alot. I know only that I don't want to put my children through it.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Mon Sep 08, 2008 7:12 am

I understand completely. I use to only have panic attacks when I was getting ready for work or at work. I would think of any excuse to stay home, resulting in losing my job because of absentism, or just quiting. My husband of 25yrs eventually left me because he said I was just lazy and didn't want to work. It has been very rough on my own and not being able to work. Every time I try I end up quiting. Now, I'm having pa at home and in public places. I am hoping this program will help me to able to stop having the pa, and be able to get I job that I will be able to keep.

Lew · Post by **Lew** » Mon Sep 08, 2008 8:29 am

I have found relief by removing the stressor from my life at times. ie: changing jobs or avoiding people. Some help on the job aspect, as we can not go through life quitting and getting fired, may be to look at why you are stressed over the job. Are you doing things that you can assign to some one else, is your need to do everytyhing yourself so it will be perfect preventing you from dividing up some responsibilities (this was the case with me) are you still trying too hard to be perfect? Try to look at how you can approach your work place or work load in a different way. As for people I'm still trying to figure that one out. Certainly if someone is abusive you might consider removing them , but, we can not change anyone else we must accept them for the people they are. Accepting them for who they are does not mean we need to accept them into our lives. Check your expectations and determine if they are realistic. The flash card from week 4 can be helpful in deciding what you can live with

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Mon Sep 08, 2008 2:37 pm

I work in an environment that is very negative. The management there never has anything positive to say about anyone and are completely pessimistic about everything.

The work in a call center as a Dispatch Lead and we always have a high influx of calls. Constantly hearing the phones ring and the system dinging to alert us that there are calls in que drives me crazy. Also, while I have other job duties to perform throughout the day, the phones are priority. If there are calls in que, I have to quit what Im doing and jump on the phones.

The money is good, but money doesnt equal happiness. I do not want to sacrifice my health for a dollar amount.

Ive worked in call centers before and never experienced any symptoms like I am now. I never considered myself stress but now I constantly have pressure in my head (tension headaches), mild migraines, visual floaters, occasional nausea etc....

When Im away from my job, the symptoms dont go completely away, but there is relief. Is it possible that knowing I have to go back, whether I sit and dwell on my job or not, can still cause these symptoms outside of work? Also, once I find a new career and remove the stressor, should the symptoms cease?

alwaysbeenweird · Post by **alwaysbeenweird** » Mon Sep 08, 2008 3:35 pm

yes it worked for me. i found out that after 30 some years of marriage that the ex was still running around on me.after i got divorced and moved to another town things began to change.i seperated in 2001 and got the divorce in 2004.since then i have remarried and one day i work up and it was gone.it will take to long to tel lyou all the good things that happened.so please feel free to read my profile and you will be blessed. take care and good luck in the program.
don

KoleNKarisMOM · Post by **KoleNKarisMOM** » Mon Sep 08, 2008 3:47 pm

Yes, I had a horrible job last year and after I quit and got a new job I feel alot better. I still do have some anxiety at work, but I don't get it as bad. Not even close. The old job was causing me all sorts of chest pain, acid reflux, and other strange symptoms. Dr's kept saying there was nothing wrong with me except they thought it was stress. In the end, they were right. Change of job and my symptoms nearly disappeared overnight.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Mon Sep 08, 2008 4:00 pm

That is it Icshell
Where ever you go there you are!!!
you must make changes in you, you are after all the only one you can change, learning to deal with all the differences in life, is essential to living a happy fulfilled life!
You must choose to be happy, against all odds, because they will come against you. All any one of us wants is Peace, and Happiness, for ourselves, and our children, life doesn't just happen that way, we have to make it happen that way, we have to lighten up, and let others be what, and who they are, and we must also be ourselves. we to often worry about what others think to be our selves! so we certainly cant let others be themselves. Life is about acceptance, and less expectations! If you are married to an unhappy person, you can't make them happy, you can only be happy, and hope they will follow your lead. If they don't and they are abusive, then you do not have to be abused, but leaving isn't the answer, You have to stand up for yourself, you must give respect, and demand you get respected.
In my case I found as I picked apart all my mates flaws, mine were just as bad, and when I changed my attitude toward him, he began to change his attitude too. and we are married now 38 years, we still have some growing pains, but they don't last long, and it is always better after we work it out, between us.
This program has not only saved my sanity, and helped me to regain my happiness, it has also saved our marriage, and brought us closer together than I ever thought possible. Not because I changed him, but because after I changed, he felt safe to change as well, all on his own too.
I am forever thankful for this program and all it has done for me and my family. God Bless Lucinda, and all her team.
CFE

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Mon Sep 08, 2008 4:14 pm

About a year ago, I got up the nerve to return to work and try again. My God! What a mess! Has everybody lost their minds? I work with a bunch of slackers. The boss doesn't care, so I get left to tow the line. I am barely making it myself, and would feel that I am cheating the company if I slack also. I'm tired, and I want to quit, but I need to establish a career. Everyone at my job is miserable. This workplace environment is down right toxic, but I need the money.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Tue Sep 09, 2008 3:16 am

cfe,

Where exactly is this "program" located youre referring to? Is it free and how do I get started?

Ive never been a stressed out person or suffered from headaches until Mar-April of this year. Im hoping it is work related and a change of careers will result in the symptoms disappearing. Ive had all sorts of tests done by doctors and they havent found a thing.