you know what blue skies?
thank you for listening.
thank you for not giving up.
and I hope that you find everything that need to keep on keeping on.
you ARE worth it.
Depression sinking in...
-
Guest
PAUL R: that was a wonderfully positive posting of yours, ^^^^5!!!
BLUESKIES:
I don't even have enough words in my vocabularly to accuratey describe just how beneficial EXERCISING & EATING HEALTHIER are, particularly as they relate to anxiety disorder & depression. I am not 1 of those people who wake up & say, "golly gee, I am so excited to work-out today!" <span class="ev_code_RED">NOT.</span>However, I do it everyday cause I LIKE HOW IT MAKES ME FEEL - I FEEL BETTER.
In life, there are things beyond our control & things w/in our control. When I was recovering fr anxiety disorder(& did) then came dwn w/ & was diagnosed w/ MAJOR DEPRESSION for the 1st time in my 40yrs(just turned 40, lol), I needed to obviously TAKE ACTION.Every single course of action I have taken during this journey(1st anxiety disorder & now depression) was w/ 1 premsis in mind - ME FEELING BETTER. Whatever that may have included OR whatever it would require of me - I WAS WILLING. That will be my compass for the rest of my life = "will this make me feel better & maintain my feeling good?" For me, that is what it is all about.
When I was diagnose w/ depress in MARCH 2007, I felt like it was ONE SICK JOKE - spent 2 yrs on anxiety disorder - now to have depression, lol. I remember telling my therapist, "you're joking me right?" lol. I worked too damn hard for depress to try & take anything away fr me, particularly the INNER PEACE & FEELING GOOD things I WAS feeling. So, I addressed what I needed to for my depress in therapy. Then, I did what I needed to do @ home, by me/for me/w/ me! I distinctly remember coming home fr therapy, after having gotten diagnosed & saying to myself(over & over), "what can I do?" That is where the statement, <span class="ev_code_RED">there are things beyond our control & things w/in our control</span> comes in. I didn't control my having gotten depress - I am genetically pre-disposed to it - so I found out(I never had depress prior). I couldn't control/undo all that that was behind my depression - other than come to a healthy & realistic acceptance of them. A LIGHTBULB went off, honest - or as Oprah says, "an a-ha moment". I realized I could make me feel better & that is all I wanted - all the other nonsense didn't matter to me. I had a deeply spiritual moment - I KNEW EATING BETTER & IMPLEMENTING EXERCISING into my life would be the PLATFORM to lift me out of depress - it wouldn't be the only thing - but it be a MAJOR 1 though. It would equate, if I followed through & did it, ME DOING FOR ME = ME TAKING CARE OF ME.
I felt overwhelmed - esp after having spent the past 2 yrs @ the point of my diagnosis w/ depress - recovering fr anxiety disorder. I felt worn dwn - like going 12 rounds (emotionally & physically) w/ Mike Tyson at his prime. So, the thought of what I was also now undertaking(lifestyle change = eating healthier - making better choices more consistantly = exercising) seemed daunting. So, @ my kitchen sink(literally) I had a talk w/myself, we won't make any promises that we can't keep. We won't think to next week/mth/year - we will only promise to take it 1 day @ a time. 1 day @ a time, we'll choose to eat healthier 1 meal @ a time. 1 day @ a time, we'll choose to move - to exercise - to do something, anything - just 1 day @ a time." The minute I said that to myself - a burden seemed lifted off my shoulder - I knew that "1 day @ a time promise to myself" was something I could do.
Now, in MARCH 2007(depress diagnosis) I was very over-weight. @ 5'3 1/2, I was size 22. I had gotten lazy & fat. Hell, we have a treadmill at home - that collected dust & was a hanger holder - cause I never use it. So, I started sm = taking a walk dwn the block. Gradually, I was able to go around the block - then the neighborhood. I had to build up cause I was so out of shape & heavy. I'd put my IPOD on & get out of the house & get to walking. Eventually, I was able to use the treadmill @ home. I didn' initially do a lot, physically - I wasn't capable. I did what I knew I could & was consistant w/ it. BLUESKIES, remember, "consistancy ='s results". My husband even got in on it - we both needed to get healthy - cept fortunately, he never had anxiety disorder nor depress. Together, we joined a gym. Again, I was able @ that point to walk maybe 15-20 min's on the treadmill. I didn't care about the time as much as I WAS DOING IT - a little something everyday. In JUNE 2007, 3 mths after getting diagosed w/ depression, we joined WEIGHT WATCHERS.
When I joined W.W. I weighed in @ 211.8LBS. That's a lot of weight for such a short lady, lol. W.W.'s premsis isn't based on diet & deprivation - rather, creating a healthier lifestyle by learning to eat healthier by consistantly making better choices, so that MODERATION is NOT a beyond reach concept. I also got the support I needed by the meeting leader & members every weekly meeting. I was able to build up on the time I exercised - to average 1 hr per day(sometimes 1 1/2 hrs).
I was home when I initiated all this, not working again yet. So, w/ depression, it was very hard. I had every single opportunity to sleep all day + lay on the couch + have my emotional eating marathons - the fridge/fast food joints/bed/couch CLD MY NAME CONSTANTLY). Depression made me beyond tired + emotionally/phyically hurting. Depress tried to take away my will/drive/enthusiasm - operative word is TRIED. There were many a days I HAD TO FORCE MYSELF - tire as all hell, hurting & crying - TO DO IT ANYWAY - & I DID. BLUESKIES, motivaton comes fr doing. It was that act of feeling the worst of all that depress was throwing at me & doing it anyway that was THE PLATFORM for my recovery fr depression. I had to fight it + I had to want it more than what depress was trying to make me feel. I had to TRUST MYSELF & MY GUT - to do what THEY SAID(which was always the opposite of what depress was telling me) opposed to what depress was.
OMG - how beneficial this lifestyle change has been for me 1 + yrs later. For starters, I am now on the lowest dosage of the depress med - next stop is my getting off it completely. Next, having truly committed myself to this lifestyle change, I have gone fr size 22 - to size 4(some clothes a 6) GIRL DID YOU HEAR THAT - ^^^^5. Now, size 4 ain't why I started this - but as I told God in prayer, "forgive me but I am human & a woman", lol. I went fr 211.8 to 141.2 = 1.2LBS away fr GOAL @ W.W. Imagine that me size 4 & healthy @ my turning 40 on AUG 15. Most important is the effects of this lifestyle change(eating healthier & exercising) on me emotionally/depress wise. Well, the lower dosage of depress med says a lot - cause a psychiatrist wouldn't lower it if the person weren't ready. However, it was more about WHAT I FELT IN MY SOUL/SPIRIT - looking at a picture of myself fr my bday & seeing it in my own eyes -its happening = depress is losing its battle w/ me. I feel hope/love of self-life-family-friends - gosh, I feel the sun again & I can hear them darn birds singing - yes, sometimes VERYYYYYYYYYYYYYY EARLY IN THE MORNING, cept now I don't complain about them. I feel more certain & I feel stronger = more in control of my emotions. I feel less stress girl. Not to say I don't have stress, I do. However, it doesn't effect me nearly as bad as in yrs gone by. I am smiling again. I am the healthiest I have ever been: went to get physical @ reg dr's office(blood & urine tests, etc) - I am doing great = no high cholesterol(dwn 120+ pts) imagine that. Finally, 6mths ago, I ret'd to working USA for the 1st time in 4 yrs. That is big/key for me.
Exercising is something I can do - something I can control. I don't always like doing it - but the rewards to me mentally + emotionally + physically + spiritually are so beyond worth it. You know, for me - the 1st few min's always stink, lol. Then, I get in what I refer to as the ZONE - I am there - getting pumped up. I literally feel a physical difference(the technical stuff Paul R was referring to) when I'm exercising. Oh sure, there are many days I am tired - esp w/ that little bit of residual depress still in me + working 8+ hrs. I simply REMEMBER the worst of anxiety disorder & depress for me - I use that as my MOTIVATION - I remember when I felt like I was in the pits of emotional hell & didn't have a choice/say. Now I do. Gradually, a little more every day - it gets better.
LENORE
BLUESKIES:
I don't even have enough words in my vocabularly to accuratey describe just how beneficial EXERCISING & EATING HEALTHIER are, particularly as they relate to anxiety disorder & depression. I am not 1 of those people who wake up & say, "golly gee, I am so excited to work-out today!" <span class="ev_code_RED">NOT.</span>However, I do it everyday cause I LIKE HOW IT MAKES ME FEEL - I FEEL BETTER.
In life, there are things beyond our control & things w/in our control. When I was recovering fr anxiety disorder(& did) then came dwn w/ & was diagnosed w/ MAJOR DEPRESSION for the 1st time in my 40yrs(just turned 40, lol), I needed to obviously TAKE ACTION.Every single course of action I have taken during this journey(1st anxiety disorder & now depression) was w/ 1 premsis in mind - ME FEELING BETTER. Whatever that may have included OR whatever it would require of me - I WAS WILLING. That will be my compass for the rest of my life = "will this make me feel better & maintain my feeling good?" For me, that is what it is all about.
When I was diagnose w/ depress in MARCH 2007, I felt like it was ONE SICK JOKE - spent 2 yrs on anxiety disorder - now to have depression, lol. I remember telling my therapist, "you're joking me right?" lol. I worked too damn hard for depress to try & take anything away fr me, particularly the INNER PEACE & FEELING GOOD things I WAS feeling. So, I addressed what I needed to for my depress in therapy. Then, I did what I needed to do @ home, by me/for me/w/ me! I distinctly remember coming home fr therapy, after having gotten diagnosed & saying to myself(over & over), "what can I do?" That is where the statement, <span class="ev_code_RED">there are things beyond our control & things w/in our control</span> comes in. I didn't control my having gotten depress - I am genetically pre-disposed to it - so I found out(I never had depress prior). I couldn't control/undo all that that was behind my depression - other than come to a healthy & realistic acceptance of them. A LIGHTBULB went off, honest - or as Oprah says, "an a-ha moment". I realized I could make me feel better & that is all I wanted - all the other nonsense didn't matter to me. I had a deeply spiritual moment - I KNEW EATING BETTER & IMPLEMENTING EXERCISING into my life would be the PLATFORM to lift me out of depress - it wouldn't be the only thing - but it be a MAJOR 1 though. It would equate, if I followed through & did it, ME DOING FOR ME = ME TAKING CARE OF ME.
I felt overwhelmed - esp after having spent the past 2 yrs @ the point of my diagnosis w/ depress - recovering fr anxiety disorder. I felt worn dwn - like going 12 rounds (emotionally & physically) w/ Mike Tyson at his prime. So, the thought of what I was also now undertaking(lifestyle change = eating healthier - making better choices more consistantly = exercising) seemed daunting. So, @ my kitchen sink(literally) I had a talk w/myself, we won't make any promises that we can't keep. We won't think to next week/mth/year - we will only promise to take it 1 day @ a time. 1 day @ a time, we'll choose to eat healthier 1 meal @ a time. 1 day @ a time, we'll choose to move - to exercise - to do something, anything - just 1 day @ a time." The minute I said that to myself - a burden seemed lifted off my shoulder - I knew that "1 day @ a time promise to myself" was something I could do.
Now, in MARCH 2007(depress diagnosis) I was very over-weight. @ 5'3 1/2, I was size 22. I had gotten lazy & fat. Hell, we have a treadmill at home - that collected dust & was a hanger holder - cause I never use it. So, I started sm = taking a walk dwn the block. Gradually, I was able to go around the block - then the neighborhood. I had to build up cause I was so out of shape & heavy. I'd put my IPOD on & get out of the house & get to walking. Eventually, I was able to use the treadmill @ home. I didn' initially do a lot, physically - I wasn't capable. I did what I knew I could & was consistant w/ it. BLUESKIES, remember, "consistancy ='s results". My husband even got in on it - we both needed to get healthy - cept fortunately, he never had anxiety disorder nor depress. Together, we joined a gym. Again, I was able @ that point to walk maybe 15-20 min's on the treadmill. I didn't care about the time as much as I WAS DOING IT - a little something everyday. In JUNE 2007, 3 mths after getting diagosed w/ depression, we joined WEIGHT WATCHERS.
When I joined W.W. I weighed in @ 211.8LBS. That's a lot of weight for such a short lady, lol. W.W.'s premsis isn't based on diet & deprivation - rather, creating a healthier lifestyle by learning to eat healthier by consistantly making better choices, so that MODERATION is NOT a beyond reach concept. I also got the support I needed by the meeting leader & members every weekly meeting. I was able to build up on the time I exercised - to average 1 hr per day(sometimes 1 1/2 hrs).
I was home when I initiated all this, not working again yet. So, w/ depression, it was very hard. I had every single opportunity to sleep all day + lay on the couch + have my emotional eating marathons - the fridge/fast food joints/bed/couch CLD MY NAME CONSTANTLY). Depression made me beyond tired + emotionally/phyically hurting. Depress tried to take away my will/drive/enthusiasm - operative word is TRIED. There were many a days I HAD TO FORCE MYSELF - tire as all hell, hurting & crying - TO DO IT ANYWAY - & I DID. BLUESKIES, motivaton comes fr doing. It was that act of feeling the worst of all that depress was throwing at me & doing it anyway that was THE PLATFORM for my recovery fr depression. I had to fight it + I had to want it more than what depress was trying to make me feel. I had to TRUST MYSELF & MY GUT - to do what THEY SAID(which was always the opposite of what depress was telling me) opposed to what depress was.
OMG - how beneficial this lifestyle change has been for me 1 + yrs later. For starters, I am now on the lowest dosage of the depress med - next stop is my getting off it completely. Next, having truly committed myself to this lifestyle change, I have gone fr size 22 - to size 4(some clothes a 6) GIRL DID YOU HEAR THAT - ^^^^5. Now, size 4 ain't why I started this - but as I told God in prayer, "forgive me but I am human & a woman", lol. I went fr 211.8 to 141.2 = 1.2LBS away fr GOAL @ W.W. Imagine that me size 4 & healthy @ my turning 40 on AUG 15. Most important is the effects of this lifestyle change(eating healthier & exercising) on me emotionally/depress wise. Well, the lower dosage of depress med says a lot - cause a psychiatrist wouldn't lower it if the person weren't ready. However, it was more about WHAT I FELT IN MY SOUL/SPIRIT - looking at a picture of myself fr my bday & seeing it in my own eyes -its happening = depress is losing its battle w/ me. I feel hope/love of self-life-family-friends - gosh, I feel the sun again & I can hear them darn birds singing - yes, sometimes VERYYYYYYYYYYYYYY EARLY IN THE MORNING, cept now I don't complain about them. I feel more certain & I feel stronger = more in control of my emotions. I feel less stress girl. Not to say I don't have stress, I do. However, it doesn't effect me nearly as bad as in yrs gone by. I am smiling again. I am the healthiest I have ever been: went to get physical @ reg dr's office(blood & urine tests, etc) - I am doing great = no high cholesterol(dwn 120+ pts) imagine that. Finally, 6mths ago, I ret'd to working USA for the 1st time in 4 yrs. That is big/key for me.
Exercising is something I can do - something I can control. I don't always like doing it - but the rewards to me mentally + emotionally + physically + spiritually are so beyond worth it. You know, for me - the 1st few min's always stink, lol. Then, I get in what I refer to as the ZONE - I am there - getting pumped up. I literally feel a physical difference(the technical stuff Paul R was referring to) when I'm exercising. Oh sure, there are many days I am tired - esp w/ that little bit of residual depress still in me + working 8+ hrs. I simply REMEMBER the worst of anxiety disorder & depress for me - I use that as my MOTIVATION - I remember when I felt like I was in the pits of emotional hell & didn't have a choice/say. Now I do. Gradually, a little more every day - it gets better.
LENORE
-
Guest
Hi Blue Skies...
It's been scientifically proven that exercise releases endorphins in your body that activate and stimulate your entire body. In short, these endorphins boost your mental capacity and make you feel better. Plus, exercise boosts adrenaline (the good way), and combined with the endorphins kicking around, it's a nice, healthy mental concoction. The more you excercise, the better you feel physically and mentally more often.
Of course, you'll only know when you try it.
When I first started having anxiety attacks seven years ago, I was 5'7" and pushing 200 pounds. I decided to try working out more often and lost 35 pounds within six months. And I've been able to keep it off.
Sure, I still struggle with panic attacks and horrid thoughts, but I'm fully convinced that exercise has both kept me from diving into a deep depression and tempered my anxiety to a certain degree.
Just a thought. Good luck!
It's been scientifically proven that exercise releases endorphins in your body that activate and stimulate your entire body. In short, these endorphins boost your mental capacity and make you feel better. Plus, exercise boosts adrenaline (the good way), and combined with the endorphins kicking around, it's a nice, healthy mental concoction. The more you excercise, the better you feel physically and mentally more often.
Of course, you'll only know when you try it.
When I first started having anxiety attacks seven years ago, I was 5'7" and pushing 200 pounds. I decided to try working out more often and lost 35 pounds within six months. And I've been able to keep it off.
Sure, I still struggle with panic attacks and horrid thoughts, but I'm fully convinced that exercise has both kept me from diving into a deep depression and tempered my anxiety to a certain degree.
Just a thought. Good luck!