I just sat there.....

bevhembree · Post by **bevhembree** » Thu May 29, 2008 7:57 am

My husband called with bad news about his dad today. It was discouraging and I didn't know what to say. I just sat there with a blank brain.
He has some sort of infection, possibly even cancer, in his brain. A spinal tap today will identify it and determine if treatment is possible. He suffers from Alzheimer's and prostate/bone cancer as well. He may not even know what is happening, but my mother in law has been through the ringer , losing her mother last month and Dan's brother from Alheimer's as well as caring for Dan which is a full time job.
My husband and his siblings know their father has been gone though his body is still here, yet it is upsetting to say the least.
What do you do when your loved ones are suffering and there is not a lot of hope? How do you deal with the helpless feeling? I've never lost anyone close to me. I can't fathom what they are facing. They are distraught and I want to help but don't know how.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Thu May 29, 2008 8:12 am

I'm so sorry you are experiencing this in the family. I've gone thru this quite a few times and unfortunately don't have a quick fix for you. I know your faith is strong from reading some of your posts and this is probably where you will get your strength right now. Some things are beyond our control and we have no choice but to accept them. Ask your mother in law what she needs right now and how you can help her.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Thu May 29, 2008 8:43 am

Bev I am so sorry for what you and the family are going through. It is not a easy step at all but your faith will help sustain you. I know sometimes words are hard to come. My thoughts are prayers are with you.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Thu May 29, 2008 9:10 am

bev,
the best thing to do ater prayer is to be there for each other.in times of need there is hope when there seems to be none.i have seen many faily member suffer and know the feelin as you stand there and can do nothing but ask GOD to give you the peace that you need and if it be HIS will to take them home to be with HIM,there will be no sickness there and no heart ache.sometimes i found that hard to do but in the end i knew that it was the best thing. my heart goes out to you and your family. especially yourhusband. let us know how things go and we will keep all of you in ourthoughts and prayers.GOD BLESS
DON
when the drs say i can do not more.GOD says he can.when others say it will not work.GOD says it will work if you put yor trust in ME.

WantingMore · Post by **WantingMore** » Thu May 29, 2008 11:12 am

You are all right. He can offer comfort and strength when we cannot.

Luli · Post by **Luli** » Thu May 29, 2008 12:22 pm

bev Im so sorry for all your families struggles with illness....its terrible how life gets sometimes.....

You have my prayers for hope and strength!
Gods Blessings to you!
Dodger

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Fri May 30, 2008 12:47 pm

Bev, You are in my prayers. Sometimes just letting them know you'll give a listening ear helps. Hugs always help too. You can be there for support and God will give you the words or the listening ear. God bless.((((((HUGS)))))

BTTRFLY · Post by **BTTRFLY** » Fri May 30, 2008 2:57 pm

There is always hope through every event in life! No matter what the situation you have to have hope. I was thinking of Senator Kennedy today...he is living each day to it's fullest. That is all any of us can do.

My prayers are with you...Steve

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Fri May 30, 2008 3:03 pm

Hey Bev,
My prayers are with you and family.Just being there is enough words are not always needed. I say this because I have losted a few love ones. Most of the time I could'nt remember the words of comfort, but I do remember the hugs and the people who came by and set with us.To be honest you don't here anything,just know that you being there means alot. Be encourage ,our body language can say alot.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Tue Jun 03, 2008 1:15 am

Thank you all for your prayers. My father in law's prostate cancer is widespread in his bones. He does not hurt though and after a few pints of blood, he is rather spunky! He has Alzheimer's, and never knew me, but my husband asked him if he knew who I was, and he replied no, but he'd sure like to! The smiles of the faces of his family were so wonderful.
In the midst of bad news and uncertainty, their faith shines through and they are glad to have him "back" a little.
Me? I figured out how to help in little ways- watering mom in law's plants and garden, bringing her magazines and snacks for the hospital room, a foot rub for my exhausted husband.
I still don't know the right things to say, but you were all right- being there with a smile, holding a hand and praying is the best thing.
THANKS SO MUCH!