Hi all
first I'm sorry to hear about Carolyn's husband passing.I will be praying for her and her family.
I started the program in ?May?, and felt very encouraged. I was dx with agoraphobia at 17 and then post-traumatic stress. Now almost 30 years later I still have paralyzing attacks of anxiety,panic attacks, and afraid to be away from my safe place. I have been in counseling which I feel has helped me with some healing. Terrified of meds.One thing I have been able to rely on is my faith, and that has gotten me through some difficult days. I guess God was the one thing I could count on, after years of abuse as a child. I never trusted people.
I stopped using the program last summer, after a crisis re: my 16 yr old son. He told me that his youth pastor had been molesting teen-boys, and had tried numerous times to lure him. We had been going to this church about 6-months. I am a single mom and this church felt like a "safe place". My son became close to this youth leader and looked to him as a father. I tried talking to the main pastor but he didnt do anything about it. So I went to the sheriff and they arrested the youth leader. My church basically turned its back on me, the pastor was mad at me for goung to the police and the bad publicity. I then turned my focus on getting my son healing. He is doing better. But now I am falling apart. Theres no faith, no trust, I feel hopeless (not suicidal). I have been seeing my sons counselor,(shes been great) but I cant seem to get my head above water like I used to. I cant get motivated to even do the program, although I have been encouraging my son to listen to the tapes. The counselor said this whole thing triggered my post-traumatic issues from my own abuse, which makes sense. I feel so lost. I am sorry I blabbered on so much, but I need some encouragement.
help...i,m sinking
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Guest
Tigs,
You did the right thing! Nothing is more important than the welfare of your son and other kids. God is your safe place, but sadly, people will take advantage of "trusting positions". If your pastor and church family have turned on you, cut your ties, pray for guidance, and find another place for worship. There is no excuse to hide or defend a known child molester...I'm not saying he dosent need help, but he has to be taken out of that position. This happened in my family, and it is crushing on everyone...but you and your son can heal. And always remember you did the right thing, and Jesus is always fighting for you! and now you have a friend in Ga that is praying for you. love gina
You did the right thing! Nothing is more important than the welfare of your son and other kids. God is your safe place, but sadly, people will take advantage of "trusting positions". If your pastor and church family have turned on you, cut your ties, pray for guidance, and find another place for worship. There is no excuse to hide or defend a known child molester...I'm not saying he dosent need help, but he has to be taken out of that position. This happened in my family, and it is crushing on everyone...but you and your son can heal. And always remember you did the right thing, and Jesus is always fighting for you! and now you have a friend in Ga that is praying for you. love gina
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Guest
Hi,
I have to be honest I just started a few weeks ago reading all the posts and I am not on this program. I do however see a psychiatric and on meds. I suffer from panic attacks and depression. I just read your post and I felt that I wanted to reply. I sorry that you are feeling this way right now. I too attend church and feel it is my second home. I am proud of you for standing up to the youth leader. I am proud that you first went to the main pastor and explained what your son had told you. I am also sorry that this has brought up pass feelings for you. You did however do the right thing. I can say that at difficult times in my life I find I try to get stronger in my faith by joining a bible study or something that is going on in the church to grow closer to God. Do you have any friends from the Church you could meet for coffee and get words of encouragement? I often feel bad at times that I get depressed becasue I feel that since I am a Christian that I should'nt be....my faith just needs to be stronger. I think this feeling is wrong....God knows my heart and my thoughts. I think that by me getting more involved I am able to feel closer to him and that is wonderful but I still get depressed. Have you looked for another church? I am not sure if you live in a small town. I hope that you are able to join another church soon and are able to trust people again and make some new friends. I need my church family. You said that you didnt take meds. I hate to take them. But the qualitiy of my life changes whatever I start them up again. I have been taking them for 7 years on and off. I always start to feel good and then I want to do it on my own. It doesn't work for me not to take them....but everyone is different. I think it was frustrating to have to "play around with them" to find the one that worked for me. I think it is great that you are talking to your son's counselor. Do it as often as you can! Sometimes we just need to talk to people to know that we are ok. I need to hear that others have gone through the same trails as me. I too have been abused. This is a long jounrey that i am not sure ever really ends. However, my faith is the one thing that allows me to forive and gives me the strength I need to soften my heart for the other parties invloved. Thank you going to the sheriff. If my child attended that church and someone knew something wrong was going on I would want to know! Even if i didnt have a child!
I have to be honest I just started a few weeks ago reading all the posts and I am not on this program. I do however see a psychiatric and on meds. I suffer from panic attacks and depression. I just read your post and I felt that I wanted to reply. I sorry that you are feeling this way right now. I too attend church and feel it is my second home. I am proud of you for standing up to the youth leader. I am proud that you first went to the main pastor and explained what your son had told you. I am also sorry that this has brought up pass feelings for you. You did however do the right thing. I can say that at difficult times in my life I find I try to get stronger in my faith by joining a bible study or something that is going on in the church to grow closer to God. Do you have any friends from the Church you could meet for coffee and get words of encouragement? I often feel bad at times that I get depressed becasue I feel that since I am a Christian that I should'nt be....my faith just needs to be stronger. I think this feeling is wrong....God knows my heart and my thoughts. I think that by me getting more involved I am able to feel closer to him and that is wonderful but I still get depressed. Have you looked for another church? I am not sure if you live in a small town. I hope that you are able to join another church soon and are able to trust people again and make some new friends. I need my church family. You said that you didnt take meds. I hate to take them. But the qualitiy of my life changes whatever I start them up again. I have been taking them for 7 years on and off. I always start to feel good and then I want to do it on my own. It doesn't work for me not to take them....but everyone is different. I think it was frustrating to have to "play around with them" to find the one that worked for me. I think it is great that you are talking to your son's counselor. Do it as often as you can! Sometimes we just need to talk to people to know that we are ok. I need to hear that others have gone through the same trails as me. I too have been abused. This is a long jounrey that i am not sure ever really ends. However, my faith is the one thing that allows me to forive and gives me the strength I need to soften my heart for the other parties invloved. Thank you going to the sheriff. If my child attended that church and someone knew something wrong was going on I would want to know! Even if i didnt have a child!
Hi Tigs,
I know it's difficult but girl, your blessed. God used you and your son to stop a child molester! Who knows how many other boys he may have hurt if you both hadn't had the courage to come forward, reguardless of others, and stop this man. Did you ever think that he put you there because of your past, knonwing you would have the faith and courage to stand up? What a wonderful mother you must be that your son had the courage and confidence in you to tell you what was happening. You obviously raised that boy right. What a wonderful young man he must be to step out and be heard. Give that young man the biggest hug ever and let him know the children he saved. My prayers go out to you both. Karin
I know it's difficult but girl, your blessed. God used you and your son to stop a child molester! Who knows how many other boys he may have hurt if you both hadn't had the courage to come forward, reguardless of others, and stop this man. Did you ever think that he put you there because of your past, knonwing you would have the faith and courage to stand up? What a wonderful mother you must be that your son had the courage and confidence in you to tell you what was happening. You obviously raised that boy right. What a wonderful young man he must be to step out and be heard. Give that young man the biggest hug ever and let him know the children he saved. My prayers go out to you both. Karin
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Guest
Tigs:
How great a mother you are that your son could come to you. God is watching over you and your son by giving you both the strength and courage to confront the pastor and youth leader no matter the circumstances. Shame on the church for turning their back on you. God is with you and your son. And my prayers are also. Find a new group to worship with. Your son and you should both be proud for the children you saved. God Bless You Both. Julie
How great a mother you are that your son could come to you. God is watching over you and your son by giving you both the strength and courage to confront the pastor and youth leader no matter the circumstances. Shame on the church for turning their back on you. God is with you and your son. And my prayers are also. Find a new group to worship with. Your son and you should both be proud for the children you saved. God Bless You Both. Julie
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Guest
Karin: What a beautiful reply. I agree with you on every aspect.
Tigs: You are so much stronger that you may believe. You did the right thing, you did what needed to be done and you had the courage to do it. Please be proud of yourself. I know God is!
You have tons of support right here. Also get busy in looking into another church. I can't say that I know what you are going through, but I will pray for you and your son. You are both amazing and God will send you what you need.
Bless you.
Tigs: You are so much stronger that you may believe. You did the right thing, you did what needed to be done and you had the courage to do it. Please be proud of yourself. I know God is!
You have tons of support right here. Also get busy in looking into another church. I can't say that I know what you are going through, but I will pray for you and your son. You are both amazing and God will send you what you need.
Bless you.
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Guest
Thanks so much for all the posts. Your responses truely made me cry. It was a good cleansing cry, which I haven't been able to do for months.It seemed like all these emotions were just stuck inside me. I felt like alot of the stress in my body came right out with those tears. In fact, writing about it and getting so much positive feedback made a big difference in the rest of my day yesterday. Of course, I woke up anxious again this morning, but I realized that healing from this ordeal will take time. I even felt motivated to start journaling again, which really helps me work through all that "stuck" stuff. It's amazing what can happen when we reach out (even when we don't trust). By the way, my kids and I did find another church. Because we havent lived in the area too long I don't know a lot of people. (all my ?friends? were at my old church). I finally went to the assistant pastor at my new church and told him my families story. He was so kind and reassured me much like you all did. He invited me to speak to him anytime.I also finally shared with a lady-friend from this church. In our conversation I learned about her own history of abuse. She is also a single mom. She asked if I would like to meet once a week with her as a prayer partner. Thanks again, your responses gave me the courage to step out again. It occured to me that maybe God hadn't forgotten about my kids and I after all. Perhaps, a little faith is making its way back into my heart again...
Thanks
Tigs
Thanks
Tigs
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Guest
Tigs,
Im proud of you for what you did! It took lots of courage. Im so sorry your that some people in churchs let this stuff go on, because they forget they arent GOD, but human beings like the rest of us...
Your a great MOM! I think every mom here would of done what you did!! Im also glad you found another church with people who are understanding.
I will pray for you and your children and for God to lead through the circumstances your in.. God Bless you Nelly:)
Im proud of you for what you did! It took lots of courage. Im so sorry your that some people in churchs let this stuff go on, because they forget they arent GOD, but human beings like the rest of us...
Your a great MOM! I think every mom here would of done what you did!! Im also glad you found another church with people who are understanding.
I will pray for you and your children and for God to lead through the circumstances your in.. God Bless you Nelly:)