Sometimes it amazes me how we can “know” stuff, however it won’t help us until it clicks inside. We all know that recovery is a process, however we keep wishing for a quick fix, and sometimes expecting it.
THH,
Good for you, it is great that you do not let your schedule get crazy. It is not an easy thing to do, since we try to please everybody. I agree with you, what good the money makes if you don’t have your health.
I completely understand how difficult it is to handle a schedule. I was the only translator at a clinic where I worked, patients that needed translation during their appointment, had to make their appointments with me. I remember trying to make all patients fit in one day, and of course going nuts about it. But was you said, there are emergencies, all the other ones will need to wait until you have an opening in your schedule. People want things when they want, however you have to take care of yourself and your husband first. Since your business is a repeat business, you can be sure that the customers will be coming back, sooner or later, they come back.
Mike,
I liked the video, it made me think of how we feel that our parents expect perfection from us. I think they just want us to be happy, however we think that they expect more. I don’t remember my parents telling me I had to be perfect, but I remember the feeling of not being enough for them. A lot of the things they did or said were because they loved me and wanted me to be happy, however sometimes I felt like I was not good enough…. Now, I don’t know if I am enough or not, but I want to believe that I am OK the way I am. Yes, I have anxiety and fears to deal with, but I am OK.
I do not like being in a big group. I can deal with 3 or 4 people, but more than that makes me nervous. I know that is because I am used to read other people and respond to them by what I think they are expecting to hear… I am a pro at that… When there are too many people, is very difficult to read them, so I don’t know what is expected of me.
I guess the important part about cleaning your friend’s place is that you felt really good doing it… I just noticed that you didn’t mention the anxiety, so I guess the “feeling good” was more important. When I focus my attention outside of me, I tend to feel better and the anxiety is not much of a problem.
I learned Transcendental Meditation in June of last year. It takes just a few minutes of your day, actually 15 to 20 minutes 2 times a day. TM has helped me deal with things that have hurt me in the past. What I liked about it is that you don’t need to “concentrate”. In TM you let your ideas flow, at the same time as your mantra. You can find a lot of information about TM on their website.
http://www.tm.org/ It has helped me to relax, but there is also a lot of research about the benefits for your health.
The cognitive distortions were an eye opener. I know I do a lot of them, it is just nice to see them in black and white… kind of giving a name to what I do to myself. I know I tend to disqualify the positive, mental filtering, use the should a lot, and personalization… However I can find examples of each one of them.
Karen,
I imagine that you had very awful experiences with your ex. What happened at his apt. is enough to give anyone a panic attack. I imagine there were other situations in which you felt anxiety or panic. Now you know the feeling; mark that feeling as something you don’t want in your next boyfriend.
I didn’t want to get involved with anyone after my separation and divorce, however I knew I didn’t want to be alone either. So I decided to make friends, just friends. I started going out with some female friends, then with some male friends. Actually, when I met my husband, I was not looking for a relationship, I only wanted to practice my English. He was also recently separated, and he didn’t want a relationship either…. What I am trying to say is… You don’t need to start another relationship in order to forget and forgive your ex, but you need friends, people to talk with, people to share with.
Have you seen the FLYLADY website?... A friend recommended it, it is a day by day routine to get the house back in order. I really liked it. I never really learned how to take care of my house, to me house chores were a pain. Now I am learning to see it with pride, and I am finding ways to make the chores easy.
Flylady"Worrying does not empty tomorrow of its trouble, it empties today of its strength." – Unknown
that's exactly what it is doing and I feel exactly like your confused smiley face, lol....