One More Step

[SeaRunner]

Berengar -

That's wonderful that you were able to enjoy the latter half of your vacation. So many times this is the case. Once we get to our destination, whatever that may be, the anticipation and fears tend to subside as we engage ourselves in activities. It's all about staying in the present and enjoying the moment. As we keep learning, anxiety is always rooted in our perception of the past or the future, never the present.

I'm not sure why you would feel like you need to punish yourself. Do you think it's some kind of defense mechanism? Perhaps your subconsciously thinking that you're gaining control if you cause your anxiety first rather than just waiting to see if it will come up on it's own. But of course this is a false sense of control. Does that sound like a possibility?

In any case, ask yourself how many times you've felt uncomfortable with your breathing such that you might pass out. Then ask yourself how many times you actually did pass out. If you're like most of us the answer to the first question is countless times and the answer to the second is never. Based on these odds, the probability that it will happen now or in the future is pretty much zero.

Jamie

[SeaRunner]

THH -

I hope you're right. My internal clock has gotten so off it's nearly backwards. I sleep hardly at all during the night anymore. Perhaps if I let my sleep cycle get later and later it will eventually push all the way back to a normal time! Wouldn't that be nice?

That's a very clever analogy with the baseball bat. I bet most of us on this site are carrying around that same bat. I guess it's time to let it go. I know that I sure could use a few less hits from myself let alone the rest of the world.

Oh yes, driving up here in the Seattle area is an experience. I realize it's better than some other areas like LA or NYC, but we definitely have our traffic problems. I tend to time my drives to avoid the heaviest commuting times and tend to take routes where I'll have options if I need to change plans. By the way, I completely understand your comment about the Freemont / Aurora Bridge. My worst stretch of highway is the SR-520 floating bridge. I haven't crossed it in four or five years and just the thought of it scares the heck out of me. But, eventually I know I'll get to a point where I can tackle those really big fears too.

Jamie

[SeaRunner]

Ninja -

Yeah, so far my plans to stay up 24 hours or wake up earlier haven't been so fruitful. I guess I just need to let my body tell me when it needs sleep. Once I stop fighting and can relax about my sleeping habits, then maybe I can try some gentle persuasion to get moving back towards a more normal sleep cycle.

The book by Paul McKenna had some good tips about changing sleep habits, but very little of it was new information. It did contain a self-hypnosis CD. I tried it one night and rather than relaxing me, I ended up panicking. Not such a good outcome, huh?

The problem was with how it was presented and some of my deep ingrained fears. The recording is in stereo so the left and right output can vary. In several sections of the CD, he talks about two completely different things simultaneously, one on the right channel and the other on the left channel. I couldn't focus on both ears at the same time. It totally freaked me out because it made me feel like I was hearing voices. I've always had a deep fear of going insane so this just put me over the edge. Maybe now that I know it's going to happen I'll be able to handle the CD. Although I'm still not sure if I'll try it again.

Jamie

[berengar]

Jamie,

I think you are probably right... I am trying to take control over the anxiety before it has a chance to pop up on its own!

Every time I focus on it, now that I am starting to 'snap back' to reality, I realize I really am anxious or upset about something. This whole last round of bad anxiety I feel was caused primarily by high stress at work. I am leading a huge program (I'm and engineer), and my every decision affects millions of dollars of investment and even human life! I sometimes forget that I'm carrying such a weight on my shoulders, and when things get hectic on top of the underlying responsibility, I just start breaking down and finding some fear to pin my anxiety on.

It's a battle within me right now to try to do well on this project while also controlling my anxiety. I have to be willing to work at calming myself down... just like relationships are 'work', so is controlling your anxiety when you are someone 'like us' (as Lucinda nicely puts it). In the end the work is well worth it.

Thank you for your support and for responding to my posts. You help me feel connected to others going through their own struggles and your kindness means a lot.

I will continue to stay in touch with this stream; I like how active everyone is on it. Some of the other blogs have no ongoing activity!

[NinjaFrodo]

Well calming myself down and the affirmations did help me to a certain extent but i did need to take some steps. What seems to work for me was to try to get to sleep at a certain time and make that consistent for like 4 days and then decrease the time by 30minutes. I was able to get to sleep at 12:30 for 4 days and then last night i just felt like going to sleep at 11:30 but of course i had to wake up at 7ish the last couple of days because i was staying over at someone's house and i had to get up when they did and i had an appointment this morning so that helped.

I felt really tired upon waking but had some tea and ate a bit and then I walked to a park and spent a few hours there. I read some affirmations, wrote some more and then just layed back and relaxed myself. Then walked home and did some stuff and then went to the gym, walked back home after and watched tv on my comp and then went to bed.

I wonder maybe if the script i made did not cover all of your negative thoughts and beliefs around sleep...perhaps if you wrote down every thought and belief you had that is negative about sleep then we can make up a script for you. If you are interested


Mike

[berengar]

Hi Mike,

Some people do not like any kind of medicinal route, and perhaps you have already considered this so please forgive me if I'm missing the boat here... have you tried an all-natural sleep aid to try for a few nights to get in a sleep 'groove'? There is something called Midnight that is homeopathic and you can take up to two dissolvable tablets each night.

I use it when I am going through an anxious period in my life. Also, working out a lot earlier in the day has helped A LOT. If you really push the cardio for 45 minutes, your body craves sleep at night.

Just some pointers from a former sleep problem sufferer.

Kris

[THH]

Sea Runner, trust me, it will reset! You can only fight it so long... You have to forget about it, don't stress your self about it, nature always takes its coarse! Trust her. (hahaha...I think she is a her?) Friendly up with it being ok that you can't sleep. Lots of great suggestions by everyone on this topic, it will happen for you too. Time my friend, all in time.
Berengar: Very good on realizing, to try take control over the anxiety before it gets a chance to present major symtoms. The sooner I reconize that it is present that sooner it goes away. It really is amazing... Also very comforting!
Mike your scripts are all very good! Keep posting them!

[NinjaFrodo]

Hmm no i have not actually tried anything like that. I actually work in the alternative health field so I am definately into stuff like that. I am slowly getting into the grove myself but it would definately help if i get back into a rut. Does it help with sleep quality as well?

yes i have found hitting the gym helps alot to. I do hip hop dancing and yoga to house dance and trance music as well as walking all over the city and weight lifting. I definately find that this helps.

Its also good that you posted that in here because i am not the only sufferer of sleep problems in this thread.

Thank you,

Mike

[NinjaFrodo]

thank you THH i will definately continue the affirmation scripts. Its getting harder to write them all in one day though. Especially with the topics i'm working on...the guilt one took awhile, expectations is too, love/compassion and caring i'm sure will be, funny enough but i think the one for stress will be relatively easy to handle, i'm going to write one for sex for myself and then one for shiatsu and another one for selling myself, product or service (which is actually in that book that the idea of scripts are from)...after that i am not sure what else. The affirmations don't just affect one area of our lives. I may not need to make any more than that.


Mike

[berengar]

Hi Mike,

For me it did help with sleep quality. I cannot remember the name of the manufacturer (and I'm at work right now, and the box is at home). Any pharmacy will have it... it's in a blue box with 'Mid-night' printed in yellow letters, two packets of dissolvable tablets. Take two a half hour or so before bed (I am pretty sure this is what the directions say).

Other tips, things that worked for me over time that you may already be aware of:
-bedroom has no tv, no reading... only radio or relaxing CDs. I just read an article that proved people fall asleep faster and have better sleep quality if they keep classical music playing at a low volume. I find that 'spa' themed music also works.

-apply natural lavendar oil (you can get it at most grocery stores these days) to your wrists and maybe neck. The smell is naturally soothing and if you do it every night, your body will begin to recognize it as a sleep 'ritual'... that was the key for me; setting up an atmosphere that my body recognized as bed time

-have an air purifier or other white noise in the background to muffle all other sounds (even crickets can wake you up or disrupt your sleep if they are the right pitch!)

-keep your room cool. The body rests better if the room is at 66 degrees F. This may be difficult if you don't have air conditioning. In the winter it's much easier and you save on heating bills by turning down the heat at night! Also, do not use many covers... your body naturally wants to sleep when it is a little cooler.

-keep very dark shades on your windows to block out moonlight/sunlight/car lights

These things have all worked for me over the years and I have such restful sleep. The only thing I need to work on now is stopping all beverages several hours before bed! I get thirsty after the gym, but sometimes I drink too much water. Really strive to cut beverage intake down after 5:00 pm because your bladder is just one more thing that can wake you up in the middle of the night!

Everyone is different, so experiment and create your own sleep 'ritual' so that restful sleep becomes a habit. And keep with the exercise. Very tiring cardio will exhaust your body