I am dealing with a really, really scary symptom. Besides my HORRIFYING depersonalization I am experiencing something that really, really makes me think I etiher am going crazy or already are.
When I am tired and want to go to sleep I lay down and close my eyes. I start to think about different things but after a while I just open my eyes and I remember I had a thought a few seconds ago I did not "control". It is like I am thinking but I do not have the control over what I am thinking about. För example I see a picture of a dog playing with a man in my head while I am resting. All of a sudden I get "consious" of that picture and I get scared of why I am having it because I really was not trying to think of that. It just came to me. I open my eyes and a lot of the time after I open my eyes I can not even remember that thought. Sometimes I can even hear voices, like somedy screaming "Catch the ball!" or something like that. It is almost dreamy like, but I am not sleeping. What is this? Am I starting to hear voices and going crazy? Am I loosing control over my thoughts?
I stayed up all night last night and dwelling over this. I am afraid to sleep because of theese thoughts and feelings. I have no control over myself! My mother thinks I am just going to sleep, but it can not be. How can I be concious?! A while ago I consulted a psychiatrist who told me that that was just me being in touch with my subconcious. Can that really be that? Does anyone else experience this? I tried to find something on this forum but it seems to me I am the only one who feel this. I am so afraid, please answer me!
Best wishes,
Belma
Does anybody else feel like this?!
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Guest
Hi Belmisen,
What you are describing is the normal time that everyone experiences between being awake and falling asleep. Everyone who is a living human being knows exactly what you are talking about:)...though not all of them ever give it much thought! Maybe some animals do too!:) It can be described in my opinion as a time of "twilight". You are half asleep and half awake. You are beginning to dream and you are trying to control that natural process. People who are under stress tend to go straight into a dream state faster. There is also a medical term for what that is called. It is called "hypnogogic hallucinations" which EVERYONE has during that time period so PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE do not let the term "hallucinations" make you think that it is not a normal experience.
Belmisen, my heart just goes out to you right now. You are experiencing intense anxiety, and you are trying to control your body's natural processes which you were never meant to have conscience control over. You need sleep. You need to dream. That natural dreaming process is good for you and your brain and body, and I hope you can understand that letting your body have that experience makes you mentally healthy.
You are not going crazy. You are not mentally ill. You are stressed out, anxious, and tired, and you are so afraid to trust your body- thinking that it is going to turn on you. You are not going to make yourself go crazy, but you are going to stress yourself out and cause yourself needless suffering and pain if you continue to scare yourself. If you look at it through this anxiety program, you are having scary thoughts, and you can learn to have different, truthful, and more positive thoughts. You don't deserve to treat yourself this way.
I recommend getting into this program again so that you can feel better soon. Consider visiting a therapist, etc. You are not the "worst of the worst" or the only one who has ever felt the way you are feeling. What you are experiencing is very common with anxiety. I just know what it is like to suffer this way, and I know there is help and relief for you:). I know it doesn't seem that way right now, but I hope you can know the truth from someone who has been there.
Take care,
luvpiggy
What you are describing is the normal time that everyone experiences between being awake and falling asleep. Everyone who is a living human being knows exactly what you are talking about:)...though not all of them ever give it much thought! Maybe some animals do too!:) It can be described in my opinion as a time of "twilight". You are half asleep and half awake. You are beginning to dream and you are trying to control that natural process. People who are under stress tend to go straight into a dream state faster. There is also a medical term for what that is called. It is called "hypnogogic hallucinations" which EVERYONE has during that time period so PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE do not let the term "hallucinations" make you think that it is not a normal experience.
Belmisen, my heart just goes out to you right now. You are experiencing intense anxiety, and you are trying to control your body's natural processes which you were never meant to have conscience control over. You need sleep. You need to dream. That natural dreaming process is good for you and your brain and body, and I hope you can understand that letting your body have that experience makes you mentally healthy.
You are not going crazy. You are not mentally ill. You are stressed out, anxious, and tired, and you are so afraid to trust your body- thinking that it is going to turn on you. You are not going to make yourself go crazy, but you are going to stress yourself out and cause yourself needless suffering and pain if you continue to scare yourself. If you look at it through this anxiety program, you are having scary thoughts, and you can learn to have different, truthful, and more positive thoughts. You don't deserve to treat yourself this way.
I recommend getting into this program again so that you can feel better soon. Consider visiting a therapist, etc. You are not the "worst of the worst" or the only one who has ever felt the way you are feeling. What you are experiencing is very common with anxiety. I just know what it is like to suffer this way, and I know there is help and relief for you:). I know it doesn't seem that way right now, but I hope you can know the truth from someone who has been there.
Take care,
luvpiggy
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Guest
Belma -
The exact thing happens to me as well. It always happens when I'm starting to fall asleep, especially if I'm really tired. I have a hard time falling asleep anyway, so this period can last for thirty minutes or more for me.
The good news is like LuvPiggy said, it's normal and you're not going crazy. Think of it as a time where your mind can just let go and is just processing the day. You will have random thoughts and it's OK.
When I'm nervous, these thoughts can scare me too. During those times I try to do my relaxation exercises and clear my mind while trying to fall asleep. The random thoughts will still intrude, which again is normal. But when they do, I just tell myself that I'm not going to think about anything right now and I imagine letting any active thoughts float away. As each new thought enters, I just let it go. Eventually I calm down and fall asleep.
Good luck,
Jamie
The exact thing happens to me as well. It always happens when I'm starting to fall asleep, especially if I'm really tired. I have a hard time falling asleep anyway, so this period can last for thirty minutes or more for me.
The good news is like LuvPiggy said, it's normal and you're not going crazy. Think of it as a time where your mind can just let go and is just processing the day. You will have random thoughts and it's OK.
When I'm nervous, these thoughts can scare me too. During those times I try to do my relaxation exercises and clear my mind while trying to fall asleep. The random thoughts will still intrude, which again is normal. But when they do, I just tell myself that I'm not going to think about anything right now and I imagine letting any active thoughts float away. As each new thought enters, I just let it go. Eventually I calm down and fall asleep.
Good luck,
Jamie
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Guest
Hi there,
I agree with what the others say-- what you're experiencing is just your synapses firing off spontaneous thoughts during that state between awake and asleep. It happens to me too, along with other sleep cycle weirdness like paralysis, and sleep walking-- all of which peak to heights for me when I'm particularly anxious. You really truly are ok and you're not going crazy.
You can try to be an observer of these spontaenously generated thoughts-- noting them as the arise-- as though they were clouds floating through the clear sky that is you and they're just passing through, not having any definite meaning, significance.
One thing I say to myself (or to the thoughts) when I'm troubled this way is "thank you, thank you for that thought, but we're going to sleep now". I might have to repeat this process a thousand times but eventually I'll fall asleep and things quiet down. Think of your mind like it's a young puppy, and you just keep handling it with kindness and compassion, over and over, no matter how many times it takes.
I agree with what the others say-- what you're experiencing is just your synapses firing off spontaneous thoughts during that state between awake and asleep. It happens to me too, along with other sleep cycle weirdness like paralysis, and sleep walking-- all of which peak to heights for me when I'm particularly anxious. You really truly are ok and you're not going crazy.
You can try to be an observer of these spontaenously generated thoughts-- noting them as the arise-- as though they were clouds floating through the clear sky that is you and they're just passing through, not having any definite meaning, significance.
One thing I say to myself (or to the thoughts) when I'm troubled this way is "thank you, thank you for that thought, but we're going to sleep now". I might have to repeat this process a thousand times but eventually I'll fall asleep and things quiet down. Think of your mind like it's a young puppy, and you just keep handling it with kindness and compassion, over and over, no matter how many times it takes.
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Guest
But it does not always happen when I am trying to fall asleep. For instance I am at work now and while I work I just get theese weird thoughts and sounds in my head. Like I can hear my mother say something or my dad. Don' get me wrong, I don't feel like somebody is talking to me and I know it is just in my head. But I am not controling that. It just comes. What is this? I am so sick of my brain and hearing theese noisies and thoughts. It is driving me crazy! I am obsessing and dwelling over this all the time. It is really boring! I might maybe add that I am really sleepy now, but I am still awake and concentrated on my work. But I still can hear the things that are happening in my brain. Gosh, I feel so crazy. It feels like I am wide awake but dreaming. Like I have no control over my mind. Not a plesaent feeling, that is for sure! Does anybody else feel like this? Even when AWAKE?
And you are totally right, luvpiggy. I feel like I can not trust myself. Like I have to be guarding myself from myself. How crazy doesent that sound huh?
And you are totally right, luvpiggy. I feel like I can not trust myself. Like I have to be guarding myself from myself. How crazy doesent that sound huh?