I graduated from the program last May and am still Spacy and Bewildered, Memory Loss

Camille Morrison · Post by **Camille Morrison** » Wed Feb 10, 2010 4:41 am

Hi. Has anyone completed the program and had to take it again?  I finished it in may last
year and was able to get on a plane and move forward in life but my external circumstances just keep
knocking me down and I am back in that frozen place I thought I was over this.  That upsets me too because
I was proud of myself and I am still stuck in the rut.  I fear I may have to try some medication this time which
I know Lucinda said some of us must but I really hate having to go there.  I just can't shake the
bewilderness, delayed visual response and the Memory loss is so bad that I have to stop in my sentences to
remember vocabulary. My financial hardhip is still more than I can bare and I want to drive but the bewilderness and spacyness is ridiculous. I thought I had recovered and I am disapointed to say the least.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Wed Feb 10, 2010 5:22 am

Most of us had to do the program 2 or even 3 times. As Lucinda stated on one of the CDs, the real work starts after you finish the program. You then have to use the tools in everyday life.

It may be hard but you have to keep at it. Just like it went away before, it will go away again. Pull out your program and do it again. You'll be fine.

I'm going through it for the third time now. If you need medication, don't feel ashamed. Medication is there to help you.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Wed Feb 10, 2010 7:35 am

Hi Camille,
I am starting over. I still need help. This program has been the best help I've ever had. I am better and I have tools to cope, but, like you, life has been knocking me down again. It took me over 50 years of negative self talk to develop this low self esteem, I guess I can give myself more than 15 weeks to get rid of it.
Don't give up! We can overcome.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Wed Feb 10, 2010 10:00 am

Thanks for discussing this NOW -- wow I've been procrastinating - and it hit me the other day that I need support here so I'm accountable to get back into the program. So The first topic I open and BAM...God does work in mysterious ways.
I was also wondering about being able to view (& interact) the discussions for the people who started the program this month -- is that possible??? How? I've been away so long I need a refresher course on the site

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Okay I'm going to flag this so if you are a "hound" you'll be hounding me (Yikes!) Okay here I go "Baby Steps".

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Mon Feb 15, 2010 1:56 am

Hi, I have not graduated from the program yet, in fact I have jump started the course 2 times - at about the 5 session. But I share my experience with lost memory and all that goes with that. I am part of a 12 step program. When I went away to rehab a few years back, I was withdrawing from among other things xanax. Now this is just my experience. I was on xanax for about 1 year. I took large doses of it. When I got home and returned to work, I could not remember passwords to computer, I didn't remember people, one lady in particular started working in our department about 6 months prior to rehab. I thought she was new. My memory was terrible. Not to discourage you but give you hope that this to will pass, it took a good 12 months before my memory returned completely.
calabashsue