Can you relate? Help!
Constant negative thoughts toward everyone..especially get irritated with people that have different beliefs/opinions about things. Finding that I get so annoyed I want to yell at people. I wish I could just let it go and accept that people dont have same beliefs etc. Can anyone relate to this? I find that I try so hard to be nice and acceptong but then just get really annoyed and then get mad at myself for being annoyed. UGH!!!!
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Guest
Hi,
I can relate. I was feeling like that yesterday when I was talking to a younger college student. She's a normal girl for her age of 22, and she has the opinions she should have for a girl her age. I just turned 35, and I have a son with severe autism, etc., and I get easily irritated by differences in opinion. I didn't want to yell at her or anything, but I just got aggravated. I felt a little remorseful after wards, but it wasn't her fault or my fault. We are just in different stages of life.
I think it relates to boundaries. In the past, I was someone who was told by abusive family members that my opinion was always wrong and that I had to concede to what every one else thought. If I didn't, I was punished. I think if you know that you can have your opinion and that just because someone has a different opinion doesn't mean you have to change yours, then I think you can have peace. It may take a lot of reminding and reflection at first, but I think it helps to realize that. Also, don't act like you've given up your opinion just because you consider another point of view and think about it. Just remind yourself that you are only "thinking" about it. Also, you can't change people. Freedom of choice is a wonderful gift and right. It gets into unhealthy co-dependency when we think we need to change everyone else's opinions to match ours.
Finally, I think it can also have to do with being stressed out. When you are under stress, you just don't have time for philosophical debates. You are in a different world and have to make decisions and stick with them-at least that's what it is like raising a child with autism. I don't have time to see where everyone is coming from a lot of times. I have a child to keep alive and help, and I can't do a lot of second guessing. I can get confused easily if I don't put up a brick wall sometimes. I know that appears to be narrow minded, and I admit that, but that's the way it is for me when I'm trying to help my son. An example would be a meeting with the school system that went wrong a few weeks ago. I got into an argument with an educator. After the fact, an advocate told me that the lady I argued with tends to be "scattered" and that she had a huge workload the day we met. It's O.K. to know that, but I'm the one with the bigger stress of taking care of my son so I don't have time to worry about that lady's personality or her workload. I hope that makes sense. But stress and stress hormones built up in your body can make you less tolerant.
Well, I hope you at least know you aren't alone:).
Take care,
luvpiggy
I can relate. I was feeling like that yesterday when I was talking to a younger college student. She's a normal girl for her age of 22, and she has the opinions she should have for a girl her age. I just turned 35, and I have a son with severe autism, etc., and I get easily irritated by differences in opinion. I didn't want to yell at her or anything, but I just got aggravated. I felt a little remorseful after wards, but it wasn't her fault or my fault. We are just in different stages of life.
I think it relates to boundaries. In the past, I was someone who was told by abusive family members that my opinion was always wrong and that I had to concede to what every one else thought. If I didn't, I was punished. I think if you know that you can have your opinion and that just because someone has a different opinion doesn't mean you have to change yours, then I think you can have peace. It may take a lot of reminding and reflection at first, but I think it helps to realize that. Also, don't act like you've given up your opinion just because you consider another point of view and think about it. Just remind yourself that you are only "thinking" about it. Also, you can't change people. Freedom of choice is a wonderful gift and right. It gets into unhealthy co-dependency when we think we need to change everyone else's opinions to match ours.
Finally, I think it can also have to do with being stressed out. When you are under stress, you just don't have time for philosophical debates. You are in a different world and have to make decisions and stick with them-at least that's what it is like raising a child with autism. I don't have time to see where everyone is coming from a lot of times. I have a child to keep alive and help, and I can't do a lot of second guessing. I can get confused easily if I don't put up a brick wall sometimes. I know that appears to be narrow minded, and I admit that, but that's the way it is for me when I'm trying to help my son. An example would be a meeting with the school system that went wrong a few weeks ago. I got into an argument with an educator. After the fact, an advocate told me that the lady I argued with tends to be "scattered" and that she had a huge workload the day we met. It's O.K. to know that, but I'm the one with the bigger stress of taking care of my son so I don't have time to worry about that lady's personality or her workload. I hope that makes sense. But stress and stress hormones built up in your body can make you less tolerant.
Well, I hope you at least know you aren't alone:).
Take care,
luvpiggy