Stress Center Peer Support

Alright, Well I'm a very insecure person. And I have this major anxiety thing about my bf when he goes to hang out with his friends. I'm not sure why I get so upset, but I really freak out on him. He does invite me often, but I'm just not comfortable, what so ever, to go with him. In fact I become Anxiety ridden and freak out. Like cry, and lash out angrily, and can't stop rocking back and forth, and stop my racing heart. I'm not sure why I act this way....When I'm not with him I tell myself how stupid I was to be like that and tell myself that next time I won't be like that....but then the next time comes and I'm just like....feel like my heart is twisting in betrayal or some word I can't think of. I even get this way when he talks about his friends.....so literally, he's pretty much stopped hanging out with his friends, except very rarely. I feel so horrible and beat myself up emotionally because of this and keep telling myself to let him go be a guy....but I just can't STAND the thought. I guess I'm constantly worried he'll drink with his buds, get drunk and hit on other girls or something. I Can't even let him drink. I freak out EVERYTIME. Yell at him and say things like, "If you care so much about me then why do you STILL drink when you know how it makes me feel!?" But the thing is, he doesn't drink a lot. Just sometimes. Not nearly as much as he did when we first met. He's changed a lot for me, and feel bad about that too. Gosh, I'm just so scared. I need to have a controlled environment where I know when and what things that will happen either will or if it doesn't I won't be let down....I'm scared of people...haha...I feel pathetic admitting this. I'm even scared to go hang out with one of my few friends cuz I'm afriad he'll be like me and freak out...so I literally don't.

Okay....can you guys help me??

Emotional..In a way, I think this is a rational fear, since, drinking can lead to other things, especially if one gets really loaded. It is impossible to change anyone else. Only God can do that. Personally, I hate drinking, but, that is beside the point...The point is that your insecurities have led you to try and prevent him from drinking. If he is a person who loves to drink, then, I would not be surprised if he doesn't begin going out more often, sometime in the future. Trying to control another's actions can actually push them away...I know all this is very painful to hear, and I am so sorry...
I think the best thing that you could possibly do for yourself, in this situation, is to use the skills in the program and work on your insecurities and "control issues," I know that you are trying to control out of fear, but, in the long run; you are only hurting yourself...
Since, control can lead to resentment. You have an option to remain in this relationship and try to trust your b/f, or to get out...If you choose to stay, then, please use the tools in the program to overcome this issues...They will also help you to gain more self confidence, and teach you how to be assertive without being aggressive. You will be far more independent, and who knows how he will react to the new you...He may just quit drinking because he wants to, since, he will not be feeling pressured to do so. Or you may just come to that point of not caring what he does....I am sure new doorways will open for you...Trying to encourage, not discourage...God Bless!!!1

Emotional..I think you should use the tools in the program, regardless!!!! They are life changing skills that will help you over your fears and insecurities. God Bless...

Okay i see where your' comin from. But I thought I should share this bit of information to you. Lately I've been just not saying anything when I noticed he had been drinking...and lately its gotten worse...like he's been drinking a lot more. I feel like my heart is breaking and I don't even know what to do..I feel that his drinking is making me fall farther away from him. I hate alcohol. and for some unbenounced reason I can't stand even hearing of people drinking. Its an instant heart ache. Like for instance, my parents play darts every thursday on their dart league team...and I can't even talk to them because I know darts is always played at a bar, and they all drink, aunt/uncle/mom/dad. Wehre could this all be stemming from....I wish the program would get to me quicker, I havn't gotten it yet. I really need it....need it like now! I'm going crazy...losing myself. I keep feeling sick because of this stupid worry!!