Empowering Group Program Run-through
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Re: Empowering Group Program Run-through
Ok so I checked out the action assignments. I was going to write out my wishlist but its pretty much the same thing as my goals so I'm not going to bother.
I did make a journal entry based on observation of anxiety which I'd like to share.
Nov1
I looked at my friend's halloween pictures on facebook and I felt bad for missing out on halloween because I got sick with a cold and couldn't go out.
->My focus started on missing out and then things spiraled downward. I then thought about how people don't like me then how I'm a nuisance and how I'm bad, how i'm unwanted, nobody caring about me and then how I always sabotage friendships and that it's hopeless and I'll just drive more people away.
->I felt depressed, lonely, hurt and hopeless as a result.
not too long after (I was still in that negative frame of mind), I was walking to the grocery store and I started to worry about hanging out in person with this one guy I met online who seems like a really good, inspiring person.
->I was worried about screwing it up and actually believing that I actually will and it would result in him distancing himself from me
->I felt hopeless, depressed, hurt and lonely yet again.
I messaged someone via texting whom I went swimming with every friday and I haven't gone with him for awhile and I haven't heard from him.
->I texted him and I said hi and he said hey back. I mentioned how I haven't heard from him in awhile and I didn't get a response.
->I started to think that I pushed him away too, then about how i'm a nuisance, how i'm bad, unwanted, uncared for and how this always happens and i''m all alone and there is no hope.
->yet again I felt hopeless, depressed, hurt and lonely.
I'm already starting to see a big pattern here, one that i've been doing for a really long time. I was able to lessen the feelings a bit by realizing that the past does not equal the future and that I am not my anxiety and I am much more aware and that I'm not the person I was before and I'm able to change, I know that alot of this is in my own head and that i'm working on it daily and I can break the cycle.
Mike
I did make a journal entry based on observation of anxiety which I'd like to share.
Nov1
I looked at my friend's halloween pictures on facebook and I felt bad for missing out on halloween because I got sick with a cold and couldn't go out.
->My focus started on missing out and then things spiraled downward. I then thought about how people don't like me then how I'm a nuisance and how I'm bad, how i'm unwanted, nobody caring about me and then how I always sabotage friendships and that it's hopeless and I'll just drive more people away.
->I felt depressed, lonely, hurt and hopeless as a result.
not too long after (I was still in that negative frame of mind), I was walking to the grocery store and I started to worry about hanging out in person with this one guy I met online who seems like a really good, inspiring person.
->I was worried about screwing it up and actually believing that I actually will and it would result in him distancing himself from me
->I felt hopeless, depressed, hurt and lonely yet again.
I messaged someone via texting whom I went swimming with every friday and I haven't gone with him for awhile and I haven't heard from him.
->I texted him and I said hi and he said hey back. I mentioned how I haven't heard from him in awhile and I didn't get a response.
->I started to think that I pushed him away too, then about how i'm a nuisance, how i'm bad, unwanted, uncared for and how this always happens and i''m all alone and there is no hope.
->yet again I felt hopeless, depressed, hurt and lonely.
I'm already starting to see a big pattern here, one that i've been doing for a really long time. I was able to lessen the feelings a bit by realizing that the past does not equal the future and that I am not my anxiety and I am much more aware and that I'm not the person I was before and I'm able to change, I know that alot of this is in my own head and that i'm working on it daily and I can break the cycle.
Mike
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- Joined: Sat Oct 19, 2013 11:05 am
Re: Empowering Group Program Run-through
Oh and by the way...that friend got back to me and told me he just wasn't into swimming lately but we could hangout without it....so I made myself feel bad for nothing!
I noticed in the action assignments where it suggests to practice the breathing exercises in lesson 2 during times when we aren't stressed and to do it 10x a day...I don't think I've ever done that in any of the run throughs before but I think I might try this time.
I also read after the action assignments that "some people find it hard to listen to the pain and symptoms of others, thats normal for those of us who are sensitive"...this poped out at me and I see how that makes sense now. Alot of what I told friends about revolved around my pain and symptoms and I believe I alienated and pushed people away by doing so, and yet I didn't really understand why.
Mike
I noticed in the action assignments where it suggests to practice the breathing exercises in lesson 2 during times when we aren't stressed and to do it 10x a day...I don't think I've ever done that in any of the run throughs before but I think I might try this time.
I also read after the action assignments that "some people find it hard to listen to the pain and symptoms of others, thats normal for those of us who are sensitive"...this poped out at me and I see how that makes sense now. Alot of what I told friends about revolved around my pain and symptoms and I believe I alienated and pushed people away by doing so, and yet I didn't really understand why.
Mike
Re: Empowering Group Program Run-through
Coach Chris! So glad you are here. Thanks for reading and I too welcome any help you suggest. I tried to find your story but could not find it. Maybe you could put up a link for me / us.
I may try the chat sometime.
I have quit all caffeine for years. The carbs I could work on better. It is always a good reminder to drink more water.![Smile :)](./images/smilies/icon_e_smile.gif)
Lisaann15, Glad your here too! It really was a big relief for me too to know others suffered many of the same problems. I lived with my panic and anxiety by myself not knowing what was happening to me. I was afraid to tell anyone because they would think I was crazy. After many years of going to the doctor, being tested, I finally was told anxiety was the problem. No ways to learn about it and being afraid of reading medical stuff I would not look on line. My doctor offered me drugs but I am afraid of medicine so I didn't want that. Anyway your with good company and many great people, reading post and posting has helped me. I like this group idea too.
Mike,
You ask about the relaxation tape. To be honest, I have not used it. I listened to it maybe 5 times in all the runs of doing this over. I do not know why except there was just so much of everything to do in the program. However, in the mornings in bed most mornings I lay there and practice breathing. Tightening muscles and loosing them. I know it is not the same. So this time I will try to do better at the relaxation tape.
Maybe Coach Chris can offer ideas why we fight these feelings? I know better too because there are some things I can get out of but others I can't. Specifically dentist.
You know Mike, you helped me a lot before with some of the family issues I was having. I took so many things personally for a long time. Not knowing many of these people had many issues of their own. Some, as it turns out far worse than I could have imagined. I was too focused on me and trying to be liked by them. We will never be in a relationship I would like to have, but it is okay. I know it is not a personal attack against me. Also my door is always open if they would like to have more of a friendship.
P.S. I found it Coach Chris.![Smile :)](./images/smilies/icon_e_smile.gif)
I may try the chat sometime.
I have quit all caffeine for years. The carbs I could work on better. It is always a good reminder to drink more water.
![Smile :)](./images/smilies/icon_e_smile.gif)
Lisaann15, Glad your here too! It really was a big relief for me too to know others suffered many of the same problems. I lived with my panic and anxiety by myself not knowing what was happening to me. I was afraid to tell anyone because they would think I was crazy. After many years of going to the doctor, being tested, I finally was told anxiety was the problem. No ways to learn about it and being afraid of reading medical stuff I would not look on line. My doctor offered me drugs but I am afraid of medicine so I didn't want that. Anyway your with good company and many great people, reading post and posting has helped me. I like this group idea too.
Mike,
You ask about the relaxation tape. To be honest, I have not used it. I listened to it maybe 5 times in all the runs of doing this over. I do not know why except there was just so much of everything to do in the program. However, in the mornings in bed most mornings I lay there and practice breathing. Tightening muscles and loosing them. I know it is not the same. So this time I will try to do better at the relaxation tape.
Maybe Coach Chris can offer ideas why we fight these feelings? I know better too because there are some things I can get out of but others I can't. Specifically dentist.
You know Mike, you helped me a lot before with some of the family issues I was having. I took so many things personally for a long time. Not knowing many of these people had many issues of their own. Some, as it turns out far worse than I could have imagined. I was too focused on me and trying to be liked by them. We will never be in a relationship I would like to have, but it is okay. I know it is not a personal attack against me. Also my door is always open if they would like to have more of a friendship.
P.S. I found it Coach Chris.
![Smile :)](./images/smilies/icon_e_smile.gif)
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Re: Empowering Group Program Run-through
Super. Glad to know you found it. Make it a great weekend everyone
You're doing amazing.
![Smile :)](./images/smilies/icon_e_smile.gif)
Coach Chris
coachchris@stresscenter.com
coachchris@stresscenter.com
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Re: Empowering Group Program Run-through
THH
practicing breathing and doing the Progressive muscle relaxation part are a good start but it may be more effective if you do it a few times a day...the imagry part has beneficial parts as does the part with imaginging who you want to be with all the different attributes they mention...it might be better to do the relaxation cd for you as that last part I just mentioned could help with setting goals and keep you motivated on them...it definately helps me anyways.
And from my understanding the main reason of the stress response is to fight or flee from the threat...we see the thoughts and feelings as the threat so its only natural to want to fight or run from them.
Mike
practicing breathing and doing the Progressive muscle relaxation part are a good start but it may be more effective if you do it a few times a day...the imagry part has beneficial parts as does the part with imaginging who you want to be with all the different attributes they mention...it might be better to do the relaxation cd for you as that last part I just mentioned could help with setting goals and keep you motivated on them...it definately helps me anyways.
And from my understanding the main reason of the stress response is to fight or flee from the threat...we see the thoughts and feelings as the threat so its only natural to want to fight or run from them.
Mike
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- Joined: Sat Oct 19, 2013 11:05 am
Re: Empowering Group Program Run-through
So I woke up this morning feeling really good about going through the program this time. I was really pumped and felt like yes, this time I'm going to do it, i'm going to overcome this anxiety and depression problem.
Instead of motivating myself through beating myself up, I am feeling motivated because I love myself and I want to do good for myself and help myself. But then I started to thinking about the part in the program about facing limitations and I started to doubt myself. I started to see how it will be too hard (as if its destined to be the way it was in the past) and I tried to not think like that and push it away and I just kept going down in that spiral. I also noticed that yes in fact it was the thoughts that were making me feel lethargic where I've kept thinking that it was mostly the activities (normally not very strenuous ones like laundry, dishes..ect) that i'm doing that make me lethargic. It was an interesting observation.
I decided to do the opposite of running and fighting...it meditated on them and let myself feel them and I felt better and then went to doing the relaxation cd and then focusing on another meditation where I breath in love and I focus on my positive attributes and I got to feeling even better and back to feeling good before the doubt.
I seemed to open myself back up to ideas and solutions after getting into a positive state again. One thing came to mind where I could meditate and get myself into a passionate state and then direct that positive energy towards facing my limitations in my mind up until I actually do in the program (building passion is actually something I picked up from Tony Robbins's Hour of Power). What that will do is, it'll create a sense of power and even excitement for when I do finally and fully face my limitations later in the program.
I was also remembered something I read in a book about intuition...this one exercise where you close your eyes and jump from the curb to the street and that is suppose to help you feel more comfortable dealing with the "unknown".
So before where I would just get stuck in the downward spiral, I was able to pretty quickly jump out and even find solutions to the problem that fear was showing me. I'm feeling really proud of myself and with all the resources that I've picked up. I'm going to do it this time!
Mike
Instead of motivating myself through beating myself up, I am feeling motivated because I love myself and I want to do good for myself and help myself. But then I started to thinking about the part in the program about facing limitations and I started to doubt myself. I started to see how it will be too hard (as if its destined to be the way it was in the past) and I tried to not think like that and push it away and I just kept going down in that spiral. I also noticed that yes in fact it was the thoughts that were making me feel lethargic where I've kept thinking that it was mostly the activities (normally not very strenuous ones like laundry, dishes..ect) that i'm doing that make me lethargic. It was an interesting observation.
I decided to do the opposite of running and fighting...it meditated on them and let myself feel them and I felt better and then went to doing the relaxation cd and then focusing on another meditation where I breath in love and I focus on my positive attributes and I got to feeling even better and back to feeling good before the doubt.
I seemed to open myself back up to ideas and solutions after getting into a positive state again. One thing came to mind where I could meditate and get myself into a passionate state and then direct that positive energy towards facing my limitations in my mind up until I actually do in the program (building passion is actually something I picked up from Tony Robbins's Hour of Power). What that will do is, it'll create a sense of power and even excitement for when I do finally and fully face my limitations later in the program.
I was also remembered something I read in a book about intuition...this one exercise where you close your eyes and jump from the curb to the street and that is suppose to help you feel more comfortable dealing with the "unknown".
So before where I would just get stuck in the downward spiral, I was able to pretty quickly jump out and even find solutions to the problem that fear was showing me. I'm feeling really proud of myself and with all the resources that I've picked up. I'm going to do it this time!
Mike
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Re: Empowering Group Program Run-through
good job mike sounds like you are learning about yourself and what you are doing wrong. In your earlier post about you causing people to not like and so on. You have to love and respect yourself before others can truly love you. remember where it says how do you talk to your self would you talk to a friend like that?
for myself I am a people pleaser. For some reason I think I need to stand on my head for my daughter. she is 35 and married with kids but I think it goes back to when she was little and I couldn't take her places and felt like I was letting her down so I always tried to buy her things and give her a big Christmas all out of guilt. I still do this today and some times it is hard on me. I went out to her place early this morning so she could sleep in. I had to keep the kids quiet when they got up. I do this even when I don't feel good. I let my husband be disrespectable to me. I am turning on him a lot but I am the bad guy. I don't know where all this will lead but I am learning a lot. I haven't got a lot done today but maybe I can do some after while. I want to listen to the relaxtion tape at least once. I hope I can make the changes I need to to move on with my life instead of setting still.
for myself I am a people pleaser. For some reason I think I need to stand on my head for my daughter. she is 35 and married with kids but I think it goes back to when she was little and I couldn't take her places and felt like I was letting her down so I always tried to buy her things and give her a big Christmas all out of guilt. I still do this today and some times it is hard on me. I went out to her place early this morning so she could sleep in. I had to keep the kids quiet when they got up. I do this even when I don't feel good. I let my husband be disrespectable to me. I am turning on him a lot but I am the bad guy. I don't know where all this will lead but I am learning a lot. I haven't got a lot done today but maybe I can do some after while. I want to listen to the relaxtion tape at least once. I hope I can make the changes I need to to move on with my life instead of setting still.
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Re: Empowering Group Program Run-through
Thank you forever young. By the way you said you couldn't take your daughter to places and felt like you were letting her down....did you mean because of the anxiety you couldn't do it?
Re: Empowering Group Program Run-through
In thinking more about my goals I think I am going to add: learn more computer skills. Also to incorporate more exercise into my life. Even walking as winter is coming and I want to maintain my weight. So I have a few things here to get me started.
I understand the benefit of resting my mind. I think too much, when I work to much my muscles get tired so why not my mind. I am going to also put listen to my relaxation tape on my goal list!
What ways do you all relax? I guess I can only think that watching a movie, for me. I don't read much, maybe the paper for news, but I never stick with a book, I fall asleep. I always read directions last if I can't figure things out. I learn best by watching. I also enjoy puzzles & like to play games. But I am not sure that is considered relaxing.
Mike,
Your thoughts are good ones, I like the use of imagery, your right it may reveal something to me. Thanks~
Yes, you are going to do it this time. Sounds very good!!! Good Job!
Forever,
Family issues are hard and change so much. I too want to be a people pleaser, I have done better with family challenges. Remember as we grow we can change things that don't work for us any more. Like clothes we never wear, we get rid of them. The relationships we have with people we can change too. For me it was hard going though the list of things that didn't work for me anymore. It changes too. That is what makes it so hard. Keep with the program,in up coming lessons it will deal with this more. Your a good mom, going to watch the kids so your daughter could sleep in! NICE~![Smile :)](./images/smilies/icon_e_smile.gif)
I understand the benefit of resting my mind. I think too much, when I work to much my muscles get tired so why not my mind. I am going to also put listen to my relaxation tape on my goal list!
What ways do you all relax? I guess I can only think that watching a movie, for me. I don't read much, maybe the paper for news, but I never stick with a book, I fall asleep. I always read directions last if I can't figure things out. I learn best by watching. I also enjoy puzzles & like to play games. But I am not sure that is considered relaxing.
Mike,
Your thoughts are good ones, I like the use of imagery, your right it may reveal something to me. Thanks~
Yes, you are going to do it this time. Sounds very good!!! Good Job!
Forever,
Family issues are hard and change so much. I too want to be a people pleaser, I have done better with family challenges. Remember as we grow we can change things that don't work for us any more. Like clothes we never wear, we get rid of them. The relationships we have with people we can change too. For me it was hard going though the list of things that didn't work for me anymore. It changes too. That is what makes it so hard. Keep with the program,in up coming lessons it will deal with this more. Your a good mom, going to watch the kids so your daughter could sleep in! NICE~
![Smile :)](./images/smilies/icon_e_smile.gif)
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Re: Empowering Group Program Run-through
Good goals THH and thank you for your encouragement.
I seemed to have been really triggered today...this morning with what I already posted but then I ended up seeing a status about it being my X's birthday and his friend saying he's spending it with his bestie (being my X) as well as being reminded of another person that I used to hangout with and how they had a birthday party today as well....Today was really hard when it came to these triggers! It was sooo hard to sit with the feelings as well and they still aren't completely gone but they are less than they were and I got the idea of focusing on friendships as a goal and putting focus into that everyday....what was really underneath the triggering situations is that my need to connect with others is not being met and hasn't for a really long time and thats really what is hurting. So i'm going to focus on that for a goal and put alot of intention into fulfilling that need.
Mike
I seemed to have been really triggered today...this morning with what I already posted but then I ended up seeing a status about it being my X's birthday and his friend saying he's spending it with his bestie (being my X) as well as being reminded of another person that I used to hangout with and how they had a birthday party today as well....Today was really hard when it came to these triggers! It was sooo hard to sit with the feelings as well and they still aren't completely gone but they are less than they were and I got the idea of focusing on friendships as a goal and putting focus into that everyday....what was really underneath the triggering situations is that my need to connect with others is not being met and hasn't for a really long time and thats really what is hurting. So i'm going to focus on that for a goal and put alot of intention into fulfilling that need.
Mike