Second chances
Posted: Tue Dec 04, 2012 10:02 pm
I'm going to start this program again, truth is I've bought it twice over the last 8 years and never gave it a chance. Never following through. Seems to be like a lot of things in my life. But, this time I really need to do it. I'm at my very wits end! I've lived with this anxiety and depression way to long and I've given up way to much of my life and I'm tired of feeling helpless, hopeless, afraid, in despair. Fear has kept me prisoner, i just want to be free. Free to enjoy life, to feel joy, and happiness and love myself to be comfortable in my oewn skin. Seventeen years ive lived this way, Im only 29 so thats a good chunk of my life.
Im a brand new mom, my daughter just turned a month old. She's my motivation now, she deserves a mom whos happy, a good role model, I don't want her to grow up and see me suffering with anxiety and depression. Post partum depression has hit me hard , along with the anxiety, and OCD. Every moment I'm trying to talk myself through the bad thoughts, tears, I feel so bad because I want to enjoy my baby. I'm frustrated with everything, its so overwhelming I dont know what I'm doing. I'm so tired and I feel so so alone. My husband he dosnt understand it, he tells me to just "control your thoughts." Like its that easy!!! He trys to help me but he dosnt know how. He gets frustrated and angry with me and it just makes me feel so much worse. I have no family to help me, either does he so it's tough its just us. Being new parents we're overwhelmed and then he has to deal with me on top of everything else and it kills me that I cant get it togther. I dont want to feel this way. I see other people living there lives, enjoying life and I feel so detached seperate and I wonder what it feels like for them. I'm so desperate to feel connected again to the world, I want to feel aliveI
Im a brand new mom, my daughter just turned a month old. She's my motivation now, she deserves a mom whos happy, a good role model, I don't want her to grow up and see me suffering with anxiety and depression. Post partum depression has hit me hard , along with the anxiety, and OCD. Every moment I'm trying to talk myself through the bad thoughts, tears, I feel so bad because I want to enjoy my baby. I'm frustrated with everything, its so overwhelming I dont know what I'm doing. I'm so tired and I feel so so alone. My husband he dosnt understand it, he tells me to just "control your thoughts." Like its that easy!!! He trys to help me but he dosnt know how. He gets frustrated and angry with me and it just makes me feel so much worse. I have no family to help me, either does he so it's tough its just us. Being new parents we're overwhelmed and then he has to deal with me on top of everything else and it kills me that I cant get it togther. I dont want to feel this way. I see other people living there lives, enjoying life and I feel so detached seperate and I wonder what it feels like for them. I'm so desperate to feel connected again to the world, I want to feel aliveI