Week 1- Neil

[neilpiano]

Hello,

My name is Neil and I am a musician. I'll be tranferring from community college to university this fall in piano performance. I have depression issues, anxiety issues, minor OCD issues (I'm a perfectionist and extremist, either succeed or fail, nothing in between). This week I've listened to the 1st session several times but have yet to write in a journal or the work book.

The stress is starting to dawn upon me as I will be living on campus when I transfer. This will be the first time I've lived away from home longer than a month. The university I'm attending is small and friendly, which is one of the main reasons I chose it.

I guess my main issues are depression and anxiety. My mom tried to convince me to listen to these CDs during the beginning of summer but I didn't want to. My excuse was to her was that these CDs would brainwash me. My real excuse was that I had given up. I've been in therapy for years and I've been depressed over and over again. I feel like I am going to be stuck in this loop of feeling average, then depressed, then average, then depressed, etc.. Still, I'm going to give this program the full 15 weeks, use the workbook, and I might journal. I really don't like writing in a journal. I'm not sure why. I've tried but I just cannot stick to it. I also can't seem to find things to write about.

The past 3-4 years of my life have been cycling through feeling average then severely depressed. Before that I think I just felt average. Not severely depressed but not truly happy either.

Anyway, I'll be posting in each week as I progress through the sessions. I'll be in university during the latter half of the program but I will receive a laptop when I go there (I wish the laptop was INCLUDED in the tuition, *sigh*). If anybody has any support to offer, or just want to reply, go right ahead. I don't know if I'll respond but maybe I will if I treat this as my journal.

-Neil

[patience99]

Hi neil, Give the program a honest attempt take your time. I have walked in your shoes before as far as some of your condition so just do your best to try and live day by day and even moment by moment. The program has worked very we'll for me but I also have things that I need to refresh on sometimes. I hope you find some peace of mind and some healing that u are looking for take care and know that u are not alone.