OK so this is like my 3943904294802 time going through the program. In the past I have happened to get stuck everytime when it came to limitations and doing the relaxation cd and really utilizing the skills but everytime I did learn something new and made small changes and accomplishments here and there. It was really scary and didn't really have any kind of support system and also had sexual abuse from my childhood playing in the background..all the manipulation, beliefs and distorted perception of people, the world and life because of it. This made me doubt my progress and myself as well as my abilities and the CBT on its own was not the whole answer as to dealing with my anxiety and depression.
Much of my anxiety and depression stemed from that abuse and so I had to deal with that head on which I'm doing that through peer group therapy. I am opening up and sharing my pain and suffering as well as my feelings, it gives me relief everytime i go, i talk and i am really listened to and then that opens me up to knowledge and change. I believe the CBT is going to help with that change and the knowledge. In a way the Combatting Stress and Depression Program program is one of teaching how to be a responsible adult, the one I was never taught to be growing up. I emotionally stayed stuck at that age of 12 when i found out about the abuse but now am empty enough of my pain and suffering that I can move on and grow up and really utilize the skills in the program.
The group is like the emotional answer and i'm hoping the CBT is like the intellectual answer so i'm going to work both at the same time and share my experience with people as i go along.
MIke
Running through the program again
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NinjaFrodo
- Posts: 1263
- Joined: Wed Aug 18, 2004 3:00 am
Re: Running through the program again
Alright so a few things i'm noticing.
In the past I had such a huuuuuuuuuuuge resistance to the relaxation cd, I didn't want to be stuck with my thoughts, I needed to be distracted from them and protect myself from them so I kept falling back to my old coping ways ie being online for hours or my videogames, isolating myself and watching movies for hours on end. However because of group therapy and writing my book I have gotten relief and I don't have such intense thoughts and feelings anymore. It isn't as scary to be with my own thoughts and I actually enjoy the relaxation now. There is still a bit of resistance but mostly I feel relieved and calm when I do it.
Also I have noticed with the evaluations I'm actually being more honest with myself. I thought i was pretty honest all the other times I went throught the program and did the evaluations but really I was just minimizing the pain and suffering in a way of saying "its not that bad" but actually it's really bad. If I struggle to do basic everyday things, can't work, can't manage relationships am spending most of my time isolated in my bedroom and not doing alot of what I really want to do (even though i do some things i like doing), struggle with my energy level, have poor sleep and spending alot of my time worrying and trying to control myself and alot of my time coping instead of living then yeah it is bad, its really bad! I'm not happy with my life and i'm not willing to settle for miserable when i could be having a great life.
So i'm doing what i need to do, I get in 2-4 sessions with the relaxation cd everyday, i'm doing my thought replacement as well on top of still going to group therapy for the sexual abuse and i'm reaching out to my group members when I get stuck and starting to reach out to other friends if i'm feeling lonely.
This is just the beginning and we'll see how things progress.
Mike
In the past I had such a huuuuuuuuuuuge resistance to the relaxation cd, I didn't want to be stuck with my thoughts, I needed to be distracted from them and protect myself from them so I kept falling back to my old coping ways ie being online for hours or my videogames, isolating myself and watching movies for hours on end. However because of group therapy and writing my book I have gotten relief and I don't have such intense thoughts and feelings anymore. It isn't as scary to be with my own thoughts and I actually enjoy the relaxation now. There is still a bit of resistance but mostly I feel relieved and calm when I do it.
Also I have noticed with the evaluations I'm actually being more honest with myself. I thought i was pretty honest all the other times I went throught the program and did the evaluations but really I was just minimizing the pain and suffering in a way of saying "its not that bad" but actually it's really bad. If I struggle to do basic everyday things, can't work, can't manage relationships am spending most of my time isolated in my bedroom and not doing alot of what I really want to do (even though i do some things i like doing), struggle with my energy level, have poor sleep and spending alot of my time worrying and trying to control myself and alot of my time coping instead of living then yeah it is bad, its really bad! I'm not happy with my life and i'm not willing to settle for miserable when i could be having a great life.
So i'm doing what i need to do, I get in 2-4 sessions with the relaxation cd everyday, i'm doing my thought replacement as well on top of still going to group therapy for the sexual abuse and i'm reaching out to my group members when I get stuck and starting to reach out to other friends if i'm feeling lonely.
This is just the beginning and we'll see how things progress.
Mike
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NinjaFrodo
- Posts: 1263
- Joined: Wed Aug 18, 2004 3:00 am
Re: Running through the program again
Definately been consistent with the relaxation cd (which is pretty cool considering i resisted it every other time i did the program) and I do enjoy it. I am noticing a tiny bit more calmness overall and it is also helping with my libido a bit as well but its only been a week so far with the relaxation cd.
Been pretty consistently doing the thought replacements but have been trying to put the lie to the irrational thought instead of replace a negative with a positive. The reason is that you can have irrational negative and positive thoughts and it is just easier of a goal to fulfill. It feels pretty good and am using more of David D Burns's techniques on how to change thoughts as opposed to the programs.
Made some affirmations for assertiveness and am using those.
I am still struggling with sleep, socializing, daily chores and getting to a point where I can work again. I am also craving a relationship likely out of desparation for intimacy and attention. I am beating myself up for not being that person i want to be, the one who isn't suffering with anxiety and depression but am using the thought replacement to help with that.
I had a situation happen where I was suppose to be at group therapy earlier and I didn't really think and took a form of transportation that was really really slow and I ended up getting there 40 minutes too late and well we were suppose to meet at the original place and then head over to another location. I got to the original place and nobody was there and I was really angry and wanted to blame everybody else but myself and well realized that it was not their fault but my own because it was my responsibility and I just made bad decisions. I did some thought replacement and didn't feel anywhere near as angry as I was but i was feeling very disappointed and depressed and hopeless because i thought i missed out on somehting extremely important. I was starting to have those thoughts of "It'd be so much easier if i was dead" but no plans and no thoughts of actually doing anything bad. I hungout with a friend and it helped maybe a tiny bit but after sleeping i felt alot better the next day and found out the schedual for group was wrong and I didn't really miss too much. So lessons learned, take responsibility from now on because i'm an adult and not a child and its ok to feel bad for a day and I am likely to feel better the next day.
Had a hip-hop performance today (my first) and it wasn't too bad. I wasn't even close to obsessed with perfection and just enjoyed myself. I got really into it and i may have messed up once or twice but it was a really fun experience and I definately want to do it again. I did however feel really bad because I wasn't too social afterwards and felt like i was being arrogant. I wanted to be more social but was really afraid and didn't know what to say, my mind was all cloudy.
Listened to lesson 1 cd again and yeah it is really important to go through this lesson. The thing that poped out at me the most was the mentioning of over reacting as a symptom of the anxiety and how the program is good for that. I do over react in some situations, ones that trigger old pain and suffering and so I can use the relaxation cd and the stuff in the program to change this behavior, definately very hopeful.
Well thats pretty much it for this week. Its just the beginning and i'm sure i'll have more for the following lessons.
Mike
Been pretty consistently doing the thought replacements but have been trying to put the lie to the irrational thought instead of replace a negative with a positive. The reason is that you can have irrational negative and positive thoughts and it is just easier of a goal to fulfill. It feels pretty good and am using more of David D Burns's techniques on how to change thoughts as opposed to the programs.
Made some affirmations for assertiveness and am using those.
I am still struggling with sleep, socializing, daily chores and getting to a point where I can work again. I am also craving a relationship likely out of desparation for intimacy and attention. I am beating myself up for not being that person i want to be, the one who isn't suffering with anxiety and depression but am using the thought replacement to help with that.
I had a situation happen where I was suppose to be at group therapy earlier and I didn't really think and took a form of transportation that was really really slow and I ended up getting there 40 minutes too late and well we were suppose to meet at the original place and then head over to another location. I got to the original place and nobody was there and I was really angry and wanted to blame everybody else but myself and well realized that it was not their fault but my own because it was my responsibility and I just made bad decisions. I did some thought replacement and didn't feel anywhere near as angry as I was but i was feeling very disappointed and depressed and hopeless because i thought i missed out on somehting extremely important. I was starting to have those thoughts of "It'd be so much easier if i was dead" but no plans and no thoughts of actually doing anything bad. I hungout with a friend and it helped maybe a tiny bit but after sleeping i felt alot better the next day and found out the schedual for group was wrong and I didn't really miss too much. So lessons learned, take responsibility from now on because i'm an adult and not a child and its ok to feel bad for a day and I am likely to feel better the next day.
Had a hip-hop performance today (my first) and it wasn't too bad. I wasn't even close to obsessed with perfection and just enjoyed myself. I got really into it and i may have messed up once or twice but it was a really fun experience and I definately want to do it again. I did however feel really bad because I wasn't too social afterwards and felt like i was being arrogant. I wanted to be more social but was really afraid and didn't know what to say, my mind was all cloudy.
Listened to lesson 1 cd again and yeah it is really important to go through this lesson. The thing that poped out at me the most was the mentioning of over reacting as a symptom of the anxiety and how the program is good for that. I do over react in some situations, ones that trigger old pain and suffering and so I can use the relaxation cd and the stuff in the program to change this behavior, definately very hopeful.
Well thats pretty much it for this week. Its just the beginning and i'm sure i'll have more for the following lessons.
Mike
Re: Running through the program again
Hi Mike!
Glad to see you here again. Only because I enjoy your thoughts!
Thats too bad you missed your group. Try not to be too hard on yourself. Dumb luck, thats what I call things like that. It happens.
Very cool in your hip hop performance! Again, its ok not to feel social. Maybe next time you will feel that way. You tried something new, flowed with it and did it! Thats more that many people do, so give yourself positive praise for following through. YAY!!!!
I over react too. Take things way too personal. Baby steps....
Glad to see you here again. Only because I enjoy your thoughts!
Thats too bad you missed your group. Try not to be too hard on yourself. Dumb luck, thats what I call things like that. It happens.
Very cool in your hip hop performance! Again, its ok not to feel social. Maybe next time you will feel that way. You tried something new, flowed with it and did it! Thats more that many people do, so give yourself positive praise for following through. YAY!!!!
I over react too. Take things way too personal. Baby steps....
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Paisleegreen
- Posts: 1778
- Joined: Mon Oct 25, 2010 5:27 pm
Re: Running through the program again
Hi Mike, glad to see you again! 
I know that you found out you didn't miss your group, but after you went through the travel and anxiety of thinking you missed it! Yes, you did learn a great lesson. I started listening to a relaxation CD as well, not Lucinda's and it has really helped me. I will eventually try Lucinda's...but the one I have is working. It came with a book I got from a woman who lost her son to suicide. So it is good.
THH- Yes, we gotta keep the Baby Steps going...I have to remind myself...if only my family would get on the same page.
Ugh... 
Paislee 
I know that you found out you didn't miss your group, but after you went through the travel and anxiety of thinking you missed it! Yes, you did learn a great lesson. I started listening to a relaxation CD as well, not Lucinda's and it has really helped me. I will eventually try Lucinda's...but the one I have is working. It came with a book I got from a woman who lost her son to suicide. So it is good. THH- Yes, we gotta keep the Baby Steps going...I have to remind myself...if only my family would get on the same page.
Ugh... Paislee -
Laurence5905
- Posts: 15
- Joined: Tue Jul 05, 2011 2:37 pm
Re: Running through the program again
That is *EXACTLY* where I get stuck every time... (I bought this program back in '95 when I first learned that it was anxiety & panic that I had, not some kind of incredibly rare disease that no one had ever heard of, and which hid from every doctor I saw. I recently re-purchased this program so I'd have it on CD instead of the 16-year-old worn-out cassette-tapes.)NinjaFrodo wrote:OK so this is like my 3943904294802 time going through the program. In the past I have happened to get stuck everytime when it came to limitations and doing the relaxation cd and really utilizing the skills
Every time I try to "practice" my "coping skills" it's like I haven't learned any skills -- or if I have, they go right out the window as soon as a panic attack hits... Logic and reason cease to exist when a panic attack hits... Yes, logically, while sitting here calmly at my computer, I know a panic attack won't kill me or make me crazy, because over the near 30-year period I've had them, they'd have killed me or driven me crazy by now... But like I said, logic and reason cease to exist when a panic attack hits. How am I supposed to use these supposed coping skills, when I can't even remember what planet I'm on during a panic attack?! That's where I get stuck every time through this program, or through a book, or with a CBT therapist, or with a psychiatrist...
Anyway, I wish you the best of luck this time through the program. Hopefully it will work for you this time around -- and please keep posting updates on your status. Maybe something will "click" and you can share the magic solution that I haven't yet found.
L.
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NinjaFrodo
- Posts: 1263
- Joined: Wed Aug 18, 2004 3:00 am
Re: Running through the program again
Yay Responses.
Thank you THH. I am not beating myself up for it now, I learned from the situation and thats the best that I can do and it turned out that topic i missed wasn't as important and I was magnifying the importance of it and your right about the Hip-Hop, there has been many times where I told myself "I'm not good enough" or "I won't enjoy it" or something bad and if I followed through with that, I never would have gotten as far with the hip-hop as I did. How many other things have I missed out because of that way of thinking? Maybe more things that were just as enjoyable as hip-hop. Hip-hop was somewhat fun in the beginning but there were many many many many times where I felt bad after doing it, beating myself up and feeling inferior but there were also times when I really got passionate in it and over some time there were more good times than bad ones and I guess it helped that I shared with the instructor about my insecurities and I think that helped me keep going to a point where I did a performance for many people, it was pretty amazing!
You still over-react and take things really personal eh? I guess we all do in certain situations. Baby steps, baby steps...not giant steps, need to keep that in mind especially when i feel like i'm not going anywhere.
Paisleegreen;
Sad about the son who committed suicide I bet its easier to connect with that woman than with Lucinda when it comes to relaxation. The relaxation is pretty powerful and has been the only thing to help break me out of the 24-7 spacy/bewildered/dissasociation/unreality feelings. It may take awhile (one time took me 2 weeks another took me 2 months) but it does work.
Laurence5905;
Wow you got the program before I did. I first started in '04 and ya I have been through it many times and it does feel exactly how you mention it where its like when I go to use the skills, its like they aren't there or I forget about them, it is difficult. Also had that same issue when it came to panic or intense emotion, its like I had the information and knowledge in my head but when those moments came I couldn't access them and even when councellors, psychiatrists or even with the group therapy based on CBT in a mental health center telling me how to handle situations and what to do (which was not even nearly as descriptive as the program but very very very basic stuff that is like common sense)...I still couldn't do it. I would freeze up, my mind would become filled with fear and I just couldn't find the words or the knowledge that would help me make it through or calm myself down.
However...the only thing I found helpful was to practice the relaxation on a daily basis. I had to train myself to calm myself down on a daily basis so that when those situations happened I could have that anxiety spike and then it quickly tapper off and then I could utilize the information and knowledge in my head. One time through the program I had forced myself to use the relaxation cd 3X a day for 2 months (despite feeling resistant to it every single time I used it) and I had a situation at my gym where I had to talk to a sales rep to reduce the price of my membership because I couldn't afford it. I was not too bad with the anticipatory anxiety and would say i was at about a level 6 on that 1-10 scale and I asked to talk to one of these people at the front desk and it pushed it up to a 7. When the guy came out I went all the way to the very top and felt like I wanted to run away, I was shaky, my voice was not clear and I asked if we could go into his little office area to talk and we did and within less than a minute I went back down to maybe a 2-4 on the scale and I dealt with the problem. The only problem however is that I coudln't continue to do the relaxation cd because of the resistance.
I knew why the relaxation response was so important from what they say in the program but also because of stress theory class in collage. I know how it works physiologically with all the brain chemicals, I know how meditation helps, I know the benefits and saw the benefits as well but still had such a huge resistance to doing it. The only thing that has taken the resistance down was to do group therapy for the root issue which was my childhood sexual abuse. That only makes it harder to break out of old coping skills to have something like that in our past because being stuck with those thoughts and feelings is very scary and how do we deal with them? Everytime relaxing the anger would come up, the memories and flashbacks would come up so my ability to relax was not there and group therapy where I can actually express my feelings, thoughts and experiences has actually given me back that ability it also has given me back hope. There is something really amazing about having a support network of people who have gone through the same things and to be able to gain a sense of safety through that and understanding. Its relieving and up until this year I don't think I've ever really felt what relief was like or satisfaction.
So I still have a very very small ammount of resistance to the relaxation and less resistance to the skills and limitations, I figured this would be the best time to go through the program again. I think I was really closed to the program (and for good reason, I was not prepared to face my abuse back then and didn't have the skills and tools for that), but now I am open.
MIke
Thank you THH. I am not beating myself up for it now, I learned from the situation and thats the best that I can do and it turned out that topic i missed wasn't as important and I was magnifying the importance of it and your right about the Hip-Hop, there has been many times where I told myself "I'm not good enough" or "I won't enjoy it" or something bad and if I followed through with that, I never would have gotten as far with the hip-hop as I did. How many other things have I missed out because of that way of thinking? Maybe more things that were just as enjoyable as hip-hop. Hip-hop was somewhat fun in the beginning but there were many many many many times where I felt bad after doing it, beating myself up and feeling inferior but there were also times when I really got passionate in it and over some time there were more good times than bad ones and I guess it helped that I shared with the instructor about my insecurities and I think that helped me keep going to a point where I did a performance for many people, it was pretty amazing!
You still over-react and take things really personal eh? I guess we all do in certain situations. Baby steps, baby steps...not giant steps, need to keep that in mind especially when i feel like i'm not going anywhere.
Paisleegreen;
Sad about the son who committed suicide I bet its easier to connect with that woman than with Lucinda when it comes to relaxation. The relaxation is pretty powerful and has been the only thing to help break me out of the 24-7 spacy/bewildered/dissasociation/unreality feelings. It may take awhile (one time took me 2 weeks another took me 2 months) but it does work.
Laurence5905;
Wow you got the program before I did. I first started in '04 and ya I have been through it many times and it does feel exactly how you mention it where its like when I go to use the skills, its like they aren't there or I forget about them, it is difficult. Also had that same issue when it came to panic or intense emotion, its like I had the information and knowledge in my head but when those moments came I couldn't access them and even when councellors, psychiatrists or even with the group therapy based on CBT in a mental health center telling me how to handle situations and what to do (which was not even nearly as descriptive as the program but very very very basic stuff that is like common sense)...I still couldn't do it. I would freeze up, my mind would become filled with fear and I just couldn't find the words or the knowledge that would help me make it through or calm myself down.
However...the only thing I found helpful was to practice the relaxation on a daily basis. I had to train myself to calm myself down on a daily basis so that when those situations happened I could have that anxiety spike and then it quickly tapper off and then I could utilize the information and knowledge in my head. One time through the program I had forced myself to use the relaxation cd 3X a day for 2 months (despite feeling resistant to it every single time I used it) and I had a situation at my gym where I had to talk to a sales rep to reduce the price of my membership because I couldn't afford it. I was not too bad with the anticipatory anxiety and would say i was at about a level 6 on that 1-10 scale and I asked to talk to one of these people at the front desk and it pushed it up to a 7. When the guy came out I went all the way to the very top and felt like I wanted to run away, I was shaky, my voice was not clear and I asked if we could go into his little office area to talk and we did and within less than a minute I went back down to maybe a 2-4 on the scale and I dealt with the problem. The only problem however is that I coudln't continue to do the relaxation cd because of the resistance.
I knew why the relaxation response was so important from what they say in the program but also because of stress theory class in collage. I know how it works physiologically with all the brain chemicals, I know how meditation helps, I know the benefits and saw the benefits as well but still had such a huge resistance to doing it. The only thing that has taken the resistance down was to do group therapy for the root issue which was my childhood sexual abuse. That only makes it harder to break out of old coping skills to have something like that in our past because being stuck with those thoughts and feelings is very scary and how do we deal with them? Everytime relaxing the anger would come up, the memories and flashbacks would come up so my ability to relax was not there and group therapy where I can actually express my feelings, thoughts and experiences has actually given me back that ability it also has given me back hope. There is something really amazing about having a support network of people who have gone through the same things and to be able to gain a sense of safety through that and understanding. Its relieving and up until this year I don't think I've ever really felt what relief was like or satisfaction.
So I still have a very very small ammount of resistance to the relaxation and less resistance to the skills and limitations, I figured this would be the best time to go through the program again. I think I was really closed to the program (and for good reason, I was not prepared to face my abuse back then and didn't have the skills and tools for that), but now I am open.
MIke
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Paisleegreen
- Posts: 1778
- Joined: Mon Oct 25, 2010 5:27 pm
Re: Running through the program again
Mike, as to the relaxation CD, I can't say that I've listened to Lucinda's all the way, b/c I would use the CD player while taking a bath and I didn't want to "lull" myself to sleep or relaxed state in the tub... 
And I didn't have privacy enough to use an audio CD player in my room where I would be comfortable on my bed to relax. So it wasn't until I purchased by myself my first portable CD player! That was good practice on overcoming fears of "Am I buying the right one?" scenario or should i say, "What if?' What if I get the Wrong One? But I went with the flow and weighed the pros and cons, reasoned that I could return it if needs be and also that I really don't need a totally expensive one until I know that I will use the less, yet functional one.
So the relaxation CD I have has done wonders. It does bring me to tears...which is good. I will try Lucinda's though just so that I can say that I've listened to it and see if there is truly a difference. paislee
And I didn't have privacy enough to use an audio CD player in my room where I would be comfortable on my bed to relax. So it wasn't until I purchased by myself my first portable CD player! That was good practice on overcoming fears of "Am I buying the right one?" scenario or should i say, "What if?' What if I get the Wrong One? But I went with the flow and weighed the pros and cons, reasoned that I could return it if needs be and also that I really don't need a totally expensive one until I know that I will use the less, yet functional one. So the relaxation CD I have has done wonders. It does bring me to tears...which is good. I will try Lucinda's though just so that I can say that I've listened to it and see if there is truly a difference. paislee
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NinjaFrodo
- Posts: 1263
- Joined: Wed Aug 18, 2004 3:00 am
Re: Running through the program again
Sounds good and i'm not suprised that you are brought to tears with that other lady's relaxation cd. both you and her had the same traumatic experience with your son's dying the way they did.
Mike
Mike
Re: Running through the program again
Laurence,
Hi everyone,
I think for me I have stumbled on something to share. It seams like I think the same thing, there has to be a magic solution so I would not be like I am with all this anxiety. What I am thinking is this, anxiety is in my general make up, It is a limitation that I have had most of my life. It comes and goes depending on what is going on in my life. When I focus on my anxiety and all the negative things, what I can't do, insecure things in my life it keeps me in a doubtful state. Unsure, uneasy, fearful, not trusting.
I believe the magic is in loving yourself being positive, and making a choice to let go of all the things that we really can't change.
When I am at a 10 on the anxiety scale I have learned for me, changing my thinking- its too late. I already am at the state L. talked about. I can't think of coping skills now! The easiest way out is to relax / positive self talk-"I'm alright, I know what this is." Take a break.
I don't see how it is reasonable to think we will not react this way at some point. For me it is in the set up. Not to let myself get to feeling so negative. To realize that is the beginning of the sabotage.
Sometimes for me being a over achiever, hard worker I have trouble giving myself permission too have a off day, week what ever. I feel like I always have to be productive. Pushing for excellence. Excepting relaxation as a necessary part of life - gives my mind a space to breathe with out always looking for something to think about, which is usually on the negative side, esp. when I'm tired, dealing with negative people or problems that maybe be mine or someone elses.
Relaxation helps me dream of more fun things, being silly. I feel more balanced. It does not have to be a relaxation tape it can be laying on the ground looking at clouds, being in a room alone with out noise. The visual the tape gives is very nice, but I like to make up my own in my own mind. Being a bird and seeing though their eyes soaring across the Grand Canyon.
Just my thoughts...
Me too~ LOl...Anyway, I wish you the best of luck this time through the program. Hopefully it will work for you this time around -- and please keep posting updates on your status. Maybe something will "click" and you can share the magic solution that I haven't yet found.
Hi everyone,
I think for me I have stumbled on something to share. It seams like I think the same thing, there has to be a magic solution so I would not be like I am with all this anxiety. What I am thinking is this, anxiety is in my general make up, It is a limitation that I have had most of my life. It comes and goes depending on what is going on in my life. When I focus on my anxiety and all the negative things, what I can't do, insecure things in my life it keeps me in a doubtful state. Unsure, uneasy, fearful, not trusting.
I believe the magic is in loving yourself being positive, and making a choice to let go of all the things that we really can't change.
When I am at a 10 on the anxiety scale I have learned for me, changing my thinking- its too late. I already am at the state L. talked about. I can't think of coping skills now! The easiest way out is to relax / positive self talk-"I'm alright, I know what this is." Take a break.
I don't see how it is reasonable to think we will not react this way at some point. For me it is in the set up. Not to let myself get to feeling so negative. To realize that is the beginning of the sabotage.
Sometimes for me being a over achiever, hard worker I have trouble giving myself permission too have a off day, week what ever. I feel like I always have to be productive. Pushing for excellence. Excepting relaxation as a necessary part of life - gives my mind a space to breathe with out always looking for something to think about, which is usually on the negative side, esp. when I'm tired, dealing with negative people or problems that maybe be mine or someone elses.
Relaxation helps me dream of more fun things, being silly. I feel more balanced. It does not have to be a relaxation tape it can be laying on the ground looking at clouds, being in a room alone with out noise. The visual the tape gives is very nice, but I like to make up my own in my own mind. Being a bird and seeing though their eyes soaring across the Grand Canyon.
Just my thoughts...