hi everyone! my name is Lisa i am 24 years old, and my cds just arrived today so i will be starting tomorrow. I am going to take this seriously because my life has been no picnic the last couple of years.
i wanted to start off by sharing my story.. growing up i was a happy girl i always hung out with my friends and i did everything with no worries. When i turned 22 everything starting to go down hill. i can remember my first panic attack like it was yesterday, the feeling like you cant breath, dizzy, weak in the knees, and the heart racing which made it feel like i was having a heart attack even my arms and fingers would tingle. my parents would tell me just to relax, but how can you tell a person to relax when they are all bent out of shape, i got to the point where relax was just a word that would make me angry. My whole life has changed i no longer go out cause i have the fear of anixety, i lost pratically all my friends, and i even had to attend college online because going to school was just not possible. i spend all my time in my house and at work its like my comfort zones if i leave my comfort zones everything falls apart. i always think to myself why me, what did i do wrong, i just want a better life i want to get betterm i tried doctors and i seemed like i wasnt getting better. On top of all this my self esteem went down hill, i am very lonely i know longer think im pretty and im sad all the time, i just dont know what happened. there are times when i just cry and wish i could do this things again like have my old life back. I try to think back about what could of caused this i have ideas but i guess ill never know.
Starting Tomorrow.. Hoping for a better life
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LisaMichelle24
- Posts: 2
- Joined: Tue Jun 21, 2011 7:16 pm
- Location: New Jersey
- Contact:
Re: Starting Tomorrow.. Hoping for a better life
I know how you feel. I got my first panic attack in college to. just remember...We are all here to support you, we'll get thru this together.
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garyhermesch52
- Posts: 28
- Joined: Sat Jul 16, 2011 10:00 pm
Re: Starting Tomorrow.. Hoping for a better life
The way you described your situation sounded like just out of the blue things went south, so to speak, for you.
It made me think of when I had some spontaneous panic attacks in the middle of the night. I had gotten interested in
religion because of having such a hard time getting through college (I had a hard time concentrating and studying).
I also had a terrible time socializing. I would be at a party or something and would not be socializing basically at all.
I just couldn't relax and think of anything to say to anybody, so it goes without saying that I was not enjoying myself
at all. As a matter of fact it was a little like torture to just stay there. I think its called being painfully shy. Anyway, I
would stay at that party until there were only a few stragglers left, because I didn't want to attract any attention to
myself by leaving earlier. I didn't want to leave because I thought it would look stupid to say goodbye or thank you
to anybody since I hadn't talked to anybody all night at all. Thats how bad it was. And I was a homecoming king candidate
in high school. Anyway, after college it was basically the same story at the job I got. I couldn't concentrate, wasn't
very productive at all, mostly I was just there physically. Anyway, I happened to pick up a magazine in the back of
church that had an article on self-acceptance. There were 10 points they had listed to go through for self-acceptance
and I had to keep reading them over and over and over to get any of it to sink in. I don't know why. Anyway then I started
getting real interested in religion (I'm catholic). So I'm starting to say all these rosaries, and I wake up in the middle of
the night one time and there's hail marys going on about 100mph in my head . That was weird. I think probably what
we're dealing with is irrational fears. My mother was very domineering, by the way. I hope this program helps us both.
It made me think of when I had some spontaneous panic attacks in the middle of the night. I had gotten interested in
religion because of having such a hard time getting through college (I had a hard time concentrating and studying).
I also had a terrible time socializing. I would be at a party or something and would not be socializing basically at all.
I just couldn't relax and think of anything to say to anybody, so it goes without saying that I was not enjoying myself
at all. As a matter of fact it was a little like torture to just stay there. I think its called being painfully shy. Anyway, I
would stay at that party until there were only a few stragglers left, because I didn't want to attract any attention to
myself by leaving earlier. I didn't want to leave because I thought it would look stupid to say goodbye or thank you
to anybody since I hadn't talked to anybody all night at all. Thats how bad it was. And I was a homecoming king candidate
in high school. Anyway, after college it was basically the same story at the job I got. I couldn't concentrate, wasn't
very productive at all, mostly I was just there physically. Anyway, I happened to pick up a magazine in the back of
church that had an article on self-acceptance. There were 10 points they had listed to go through for self-acceptance
and I had to keep reading them over and over and over to get any of it to sink in. I don't know why. Anyway then I started
getting real interested in religion (I'm catholic). So I'm starting to say all these rosaries, and I wake up in the middle of
the night one time and there's hail marys going on about 100mph in my head . That was weird. I think probably what
we're dealing with is irrational fears. My mother was very domineering, by the way. I hope this program helps us both.