new...dont like being alone,to much time to think

[GSPEN]

I've dealt with anxiety all my life. I tend to let things get bigger in my head than they usually are. My thoughts on a problem will loop endlessly. It really wears me out. For instance. I've been dating a wonderful woman for 3 months now. She tends to be very busy running her own bussines and 2 children. While I know she loves and tells me so, when she says I'm overloaded and need to focus on work, I panic. I start thinking the worst. The fears of rejection overwhelm me. Living alone and working a job 12 hours a day where I'm somewhat isolated by myself Leaves me spiraling.
I hope I can find some peace with this program and learn to be ok alone. Any words of wisdom are greatly appreciated.
Good luck to all!! GSPEN

[Brannon]

I know what you mean when you describe the situation with a woman. I still have and have had those exact problems with my present wife. [As men, we will ALWAYS be "arguing" with our ladies about something! ha] The best we can do is realize that we have a great woman beside us and hold on to her. Remember not to push her away. Discuss what is happening with you and involve her when you can. Use her ear. I guarantee she can be a fantastic listener. She very well could help tremendously, too.

[Nanner823]

I feel for you both, even agree. Im not sure its a male/female thing. I think we are just less prone to argument. I don't argue, I feel panicky when I am alone. Sadly this has at times prevented me from walking away from relationships I know I should. I don't like being alone at home. It scares me. The more I think the more I panic. I would think that in some ways I have sabotaged relationships with friends family and men because I over analyze, over think. Always here if ya need to talk lord know I need someone to talk with too. I am pretty much always on facebook too lol less lonely when my friends are there to chat.

[GSPEN]

Thanks for the replies. Just to clarify, we don't argue. It's been hot and cold with her. Admitted on her part. She has fears of being hurt because of her past. Then when work overwhelmed her, she has moved her focus away from me. That coupled with my anxiety makes me think she will fall out of love. And the loop in my head goes on. I can't seem to focus on the positives.I analyze every word, every text etc. Over and over. If it's going to work I have to conquer this.

[Brannon]

Just really remember not to push her away. The relationship you describe sounds exactly the same as mine has been in the past. My wife had a previous marriage that was not the best. Eventually, I came to realize that a woman like her is hard to find and that I actually do love and need her. Your insecurities will always be present, but they do subside when you see certain things about women. They can be great things to talk to and excellent assets in times of need. [I also am on Facebook and like/want people to talk.]

[nycgal84]

I have a somewhat similar situation. I have been dating a GREAT guy for about 6 months, and we live about 1.5 hours away from each other. I see him about once a week, and when says he has work to do or family obligations and can't meet up, I start to get panicked. I think that I am not good enough for him and he is going to run. I work and live alone so I definitely think about it too much and it makes the situation worse in my mind. I am afraid to talk to him about it because I don't want him to think that I am too clingy or crazy!!!

[Brannon]

I would recommend that you honestly talk to him. I know we [men] supposedly don't enjoy talking, but an honest conversation can really clarify many thoughts and insecurities we all have. Actually, I would bet that the guy you are seeing has many of the same thoughts that you have. We are all dealing with problems and have many of our own insecurities. My wife has insecurities that drive me crazy, but I love sitting their and talking about her and my problems. It really brings us closer. I think it will do the same for you.

[GSPEN]

Well, I talked with my girlfriend and faced my fear of how she was feeling about our relationship. Probably a time since one of her server got hacked and she had a week of work to transfer all the sites to a new one, on top of her regular work. Long story short she ended the relationship. She didn't think I had confidence in her. But it was my confidence in me that's lacking. Ugh, shes says I'm wonderful and amazing man and she really cares for me.Then she pretty much said she can't do it and keep her business going at the same time. Spending time with me was putting her very behind in work. She is so used to doing it and raising her kids all on her own she can't see another way to do it.
So I have to figure out how to be ok with me. It was truly special ( she thought so also). I don't want it to be over. I don't understand why she would let go of it so easily. Bringing me back to " what's wrong with me syndrome". At the same time I know she is afraid of getting hurt so she would let me in then back away. How do I move on?
Do much for long story short. Thanks for listening.