Stress Center Peer Support

hello I just started this program because for the past year every time my ex boyfriend and I would not work out or have an argument I would feel sick and anxiety would kick in...it would make me cry and go depressed for long periods of time.
we stopped talking and I cant stop having anxiety attacks regarding if we will get back together and if i'm ever going to stop thinking about him special since its every second of my day and night.

the problem is that this is the only thing that makes my attacks happen nothing else bother me nothing else makes them happen. this the only thing that makes me cry.. I know I'm heart broken but its been a year and it does not go away.
I took the test regarding how bad my situation is and it sounds like I'm pretty balance but this attacks have me sick all day and
i drink chamomile and take mussel relaxers to calm them down and be at ease.. its just really unconformable feeling... its everyday some day strong symptoms then others but there always there. I'm i still heart broken or is this something else

Hi Rosales,
I can relate to your situation - I just went through the end of a relationship with a gal I loved. She broke up with me once then we tried to work things out, only to have her break up with me again at the beginning of this month. I was very shaken up and depressed (and still am sometimes) and have alot of anxiety over the end of the relationship.

What keeps me going are a few tips that I found online that may prove useful for you:

1. Better to have it happen now then get into something more serious and have it happen later
2. Make a list of everything that was wrong with the relationship/ex - be realistic and harsh if neccessary. Keep the list handy so anytime you start thinking about your ex you can refer back to the list and remember why it wasn't working out anyway.
3. Remove everything around you that reminds you of your ex - pictures, gifts, momento's, facebook connections, IM connections, phone #, etc. - if you are truely going to get over your ex, you need to stop with the daily reminders and remove yourself from having the abilty to easily pick up the phone, check facebook status, etc. of your ex - it's unhealthy and the grieving process and then recovery from grief will not get underway if you somehow keep attached to him.
4. Get out and do stuff - exersize (I was such a lazy guy for a long time and have problems with my leg, but I go swimming now 3-4 times a week and ALWAYS feel better afterwards), hang out with friends, goto a movie - distract yourself in whichever way works for you.
5. whatever you do, don't try and seek an immediate replacement for you ex - all you will do is compare the new person to your ex and it will be unfair to yourself and the other person. Give it some time.

I know it can be difficult, stressful, and depressing, but there are plenty of other men out there in the world and once you recover and get past this one guy and start to feel better about yourself you will be able to find an enjoyable relationship with someone else down the road.

i hope this information is helpful to you.

edit: actually I just remembered I had the link saved that I found most useful which has better detail of some of the things I talked about above. Check out this link: http://www.wikihow.com/Get-Over-a-Break-Up

Good advice! It hurts so deep when a relationship doesn't work out. I felt as low as i could get when my marraige of 5yrs ended...and we had a 4 yr old little girl. I thought the pain would never go away....I found out that i wasn't used to being loved. My ex had never really been commited or gave me REAL love. I slowly came out of the darkness. I did things i loved that made ME happy. For me it was listening to all kinds of music and spending extra relaxing time in a hot bath and just takin care of myself in general. Making the time to paint my own nails...talking to friends....looking around at older or nicer men and learning to believe there were good men out there that were KIND and GOOD people. Looks were not as important as i had once thought. I met someone who thought i was "all that" and supported me in my dreams. Now, ive been married for 8 yrs to him. With a man....or without, i hope you chase all the dreams you had when you were a child!
Do the things you love! I found it was nice to finally get to know myself again after my divorce. I had forgotten who "I" really was.