Stress Center Peer Support

I’ve had this anxiety for four years now and I just started the program for the second time. I never finished it the first time, only to lesson 8 although I did get better and I haven’t had a panic attack since. But the anxiety has come back, just a horrible constant sick and anxious feeling that something isn’t right. My biggest fear has always been that I have a serious mental illness, that it is bipolar or worse and that no matter how many times I get better it will keep coming back forever and I won’t be able to look after my kids.

Twice now since I started feeling anxious again, I’ve had a really scary feeling I’ve never felt before and that I don’t understand. I’m not even sure how to describe it and I can’t pick out any thoughts that would cause it, it seems to come out of nowhere (the second time I was thinking about making supper and this feeling just kind of came over me).

It’s kind of like a feeling of deja vu, like I’ve done something before, but a little different, almost as if I’m in my mind and thoughts as they would have been when I was a child and I’ve gone into the past. I feel trapped like I’ll never get out and it’s terrifying.

I woke up in the middle of the night with it once, and I thought I was going crazy, I felt as if I was a child again and had the strangest urge to go and sleep with my parents, like my own kids do now and like I would have done when I was little and felt that way. My thoughts felt all funny and weird and it really scared me.

Is it possible for this to be just anxiety? How do I know that I’m not going crazy? I have this feeling before the anxiety and panic comes, it seems to come out of nowhere by itself and then I get terrified and start to panic. I don’t understand how it could be caused by anxiety if the anxiety comes after it. But I have been able to calm myself down and it goes away.

aurora, I'm sure you aren't going crazy and the fear of the feelings you are getting are bringing on the anxiety. It's one big viscious circle that keeps revolving. fears, thoughts, panic, anxiety..just keeps going and each is causing your body chemicals, hormones to be released and that just keeps this cycle going until you can get into a calm, relaxed state and stop fearing the thoughts and feelings.
it's our own feelings and fears that start everything, body symptoms, attacks, etc.
Try to not be affraid, nothing we think can hurt us, the less fear the less anxiety and feelings of panic. If your child has a bad dream you would talk calmly and say it was just a dream, your safe, dreams can't hurt you, and that child will feel consoled by your words and generally go back to sleep..right?
Now you have to be that calming to yourself and I know you can do this.
You are safe.. and stronger than you think.

Remember to do some deep breathing and use the relaxation cd as often as you can.

Don't fight this just float through it and you will be fine.

God Bless

These are just obsessive scary thoughts. Its is a symptom of anxiety. I have had the dejavu too. I've seen alot of people talk about it. The lesson on obsessive scary thoughts helped me with this and I have not had it reoccur now for over a year. But it took using the skills in the program over and over for a year before it stopped.

Don't let the thought scare you....its just anxiety and thoughts can't hurt you.

You are not loosing your mind, the way to know this, as my therapist told me, is that crazy people are not aware they are crazy....they aren't scared about their thoughts....so, since you are worried about it, its proof that you are just experiencing anxiety, and not loosing your mind. If you were going to loose your mind, you already would have.

Hang in there, use the skills. When you get these thoughts, stop and tell yourself its just anxiety. It can't hurt you. do breathing, more positve self talk, and then get busy and distract yourself, do something even if you have the thougt. It won't be easy at first, but over time it will get easier to deal with these thoughts....remember it took me a year, so don't expect over night results. But it may take less time for you, everyone is different.