major relationship anxiety

You will gain an understanding of the causes of anxiety and depression as well as some of the background traits, personality traits, and physical symptoms.
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Priv3060
Posts: 11
Joined: Sat Feb 04, 2006 4:29 pm

Post by Priv3060 » Mon Dec 31, 2007 12:52 am

I have been seeing this person for about a year now. It is relatively a really good relationship. We get along very well, we have fun together, there is obviously attraction, we have a really strong friendship. We fight and have our differences but who doesn't. But I can't get this feeling out of my head that I could be with someone better. I am 27 but don't have much experience with dating.
The thing is when I think of us going our own seperate ways I freak out. But when I feel commited to her I freak out as well.
Any advice guys? All words of wisdom would be greatly apprecitated. Me and her have talked about this and struggled with it for months now. She really loves me and I care deeply for her but can't say that I LOVE her yet.
I apoligize I know this is an anxiety message board but this issue has been a HUGE factor for my anxiety.
Thank you so much!

honeydew3
Posts: 71
Joined: Fri Mar 06, 2009 7:14 am

Post by honeydew3 » Thu Jan 03, 2008 11:42 am

You asked advice fro guys - Im not a guy but I can offer a little advice. First, Im 43 and married 20 yrs this April. I started dating my husband when we were both 18.
So given that, I think it's normal to think, "can I get any better". Well first you need to define what "better" is. Is it better looking, better body, better personality, better sex etc. And me being Anxiety prone, I do over analyze everything and can come up with a formula for eveything, and I think that is what you are also doing - overanalyzing the sitsution instead of enjoying it. But anyway, So once you define what it is that you want better than her in partner, ask yourself (or do this on paper) how your life would be better because of it - and if its selfish reasons, (better socio economic status, trophy wife, etc) I would say, SHE deserves better. You know the old saying, "becareful what you wish for". But when you say "i freak thinking of us apart", I truly think you do love her - you just want to "make sure".
Now go on and make that commitment to her or move on, its only fair to the both of you
Best of luck

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