Working on getting off my meds. Could use some support.
Posted: Thu May 23, 2013 10:13 am
I have done the program. I love the program. It brought me a whole new world that I never thought existed. I want to say that up front. I have to confess, however, that I never tried to get off of the meds I began taking before I started. I didn't really give it much thought. And now I realize that I have avoided a very big fear for a very long time.
My husband and I have three adopted children. (Before I started the program I couldn't even think about dating, let alone having children). We are going to start trying for a bio child, but before that can happen I have to be off my meds. So, here I am. I know that I am going to have to lean strongly on the program. But I am also going to need some support -- so I came back to where I found all the answer I needed before. And I'm asking for some help.
I've been coming down from my Gabapentin for 8 days. Two days ago the side effects hit me and I swear, it was like being back in the scariest time of my life. Back when I didn't have the program, before I had the meds, when all I knew was fear. It hit me like a ton of bricks. I do feel a bit better today. I immediately went back to my sessions, especially the one on medication. But I am nauseas. I am scared. I am scared of failing and letting myself and my husband down. I'm scared to feel this way, when I haven't in so long. It makes me wonder if this is how I really feel without medication, or if it really is just side effects? I would like to believe that the overwhelming fear that has washed over me is just a side effect and not who I am. But as you all know, the bad things are SO much easier to believe than the good ones.
I've put my foot through many walls. I'd say that I've not come upon anything I haven't been able to do -- and I've done some really tough stuff since recovering. I want to push this wall down. I want to smash it into pieces. I feel like if I can get over this first hurdle, I can prove to myself that this isn't me. That I'm not going to be the same person I was when I started taking them. When I have that touchstone of "Oh. Those were side effects. I can handle this. It does go away!" I'll have something to hold onto that will help me charge the finish line.
If anyone has any experience they could share, I'd really appreciate it. Specifically, do the side effects go away? Do they become easier with each drop (I'm titrating off, no cold turkey)? Anybody been here/done this? Knowing others have been down the same road is so very helpful. Thank you so much for taking the time to read and respond.
My husband and I have three adopted children. (Before I started the program I couldn't even think about dating, let alone having children). We are going to start trying for a bio child, but before that can happen I have to be off my meds. So, here I am. I know that I am going to have to lean strongly on the program. But I am also going to need some support -- so I came back to where I found all the answer I needed before. And I'm asking for some help.
I've been coming down from my Gabapentin for 8 days. Two days ago the side effects hit me and I swear, it was like being back in the scariest time of my life. Back when I didn't have the program, before I had the meds, when all I knew was fear. It hit me like a ton of bricks. I do feel a bit better today. I immediately went back to my sessions, especially the one on medication. But I am nauseas. I am scared. I am scared of failing and letting myself and my husband down. I'm scared to feel this way, when I haven't in so long. It makes me wonder if this is how I really feel without medication, or if it really is just side effects? I would like to believe that the overwhelming fear that has washed over me is just a side effect and not who I am. But as you all know, the bad things are SO much easier to believe than the good ones.
I've put my foot through many walls. I'd say that I've not come upon anything I haven't been able to do -- and I've done some really tough stuff since recovering. I want to push this wall down. I want to smash it into pieces. I feel like if I can get over this first hurdle, I can prove to myself that this isn't me. That I'm not going to be the same person I was when I started taking them. When I have that touchstone of "Oh. Those were side effects. I can handle this. It does go away!" I'll have something to hold onto that will help me charge the finish line.
If anyone has any experience they could share, I'd really appreciate it. Specifically, do the side effects go away? Do they become easier with each drop (I'm titrating off, no cold turkey)? Anybody been here/done this? Knowing others have been down the same road is so very helpful. Thank you so much for taking the time to read and respond.