Working on getting off my meds. Could use some support.

Questions and experiences with prescription medications
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lilsismj
Posts: 58
Joined: Fri Nov 10, 2006 11:30 am

Working on getting off my meds. Could use some support.

Post by lilsismj » Thu May 23, 2013 10:13 am

I have done the program. I love the program. It brought me a whole new world that I never thought existed. I want to say that up front. I have to confess, however, that I never tried to get off of the meds I began taking before I started. I didn't really give it much thought. And now I realize that I have avoided a very big fear for a very long time.

My husband and I have three adopted children. (Before I started the program I couldn't even think about dating, let alone having children). We are going to start trying for a bio child, but before that can happen I have to be off my meds. So, here I am. I know that I am going to have to lean strongly on the program. But I am also going to need some support -- so I came back to where I found all the answer I needed before. And I'm asking for some help.

I've been coming down from my Gabapentin for 8 days. Two days ago the side effects hit me and I swear, it was like being back in the scariest time of my life. Back when I didn't have the program, before I had the meds, when all I knew was fear. It hit me like a ton of bricks. I do feel a bit better today. I immediately went back to my sessions, especially the one on medication. But I am nauseas. I am scared. I am scared of failing and letting myself and my husband down. I'm scared to feel this way, when I haven't in so long. It makes me wonder if this is how I really feel without medication, or if it really is just side effects? I would like to believe that the overwhelming fear that has washed over me is just a side effect and not who I am. But as you all know, the bad things are SO much easier to believe than the good ones.

I've put my foot through many walls. I'd say that I've not come upon anything I haven't been able to do -- and I've done some really tough stuff since recovering. I want to push this wall down. I want to smash it into pieces. I feel like if I can get over this first hurdle, I can prove to myself that this isn't me. That I'm not going to be the same person I was when I started taking them. When I have that touchstone of "Oh. Those were side effects. I can handle this. It does go away!" I'll have something to hold onto that will help me charge the finish line.

If anyone has any experience they could share, I'd really appreciate it. Specifically, do the side effects go away? Do they become easier with each drop (I'm titrating off, no cold turkey)? Anybody been here/done this? Knowing others have been down the same road is so very helpful. Thank you so much for taking the time to read and respond.

downsouth
Posts: 19
Joined: Thu Jun 07, 2012 7:19 pm

Re: Working on getting off my meds. Could use some support.

Post by downsouth » Thu May 23, 2013 7:22 pm

Hello and congrats, The only experience I have is weaning myself ofoff Xanax. have not taken since early November. Doing well as far as I can tell. Yet I do carry them around , security blanket I guess. Not sure of the type of meds your on (side effect), but I feel that your gonna get through it. You have a goal of having baby and that should really get you going.. Its a great positive I think. That's all I have.

beautifulheart
Posts: 8
Joined: Tue Apr 30, 2013 12:27 am

Re: Working on getting off my meds. Could use some support.

Post by beautifulheart » Thu May 23, 2013 8:24 pm

Thank you for your post. Sorry can't help with your questions but just wanted to say that your story inspired me. You are so brave. (I am coming off painkillers at present, voluntarily. I want to get my life back.)

lilsismj
Posts: 58
Joined: Fri Nov 10, 2006 11:30 am

Re: Working on getting off my meds. Could use some support.

Post by lilsismj » Fri May 24, 2013 8:52 am

Thank you both so much. I would like to believe I am brave : ) I am very flattered at the comment.

I keep telling myself that these are side effects. Apparently any medication we try to get off of, psych med wise at least, is going to have some unlikeable side effects.

I keep telling myself, even though this reminds me of my lowest point, it isn't my lowest point. My feelings aren't facts. My feelings are just that -- feelings. I can walk, talk and live with them, as long as I don't give them credit or power. Just after being hit really hard two days ago, I can say I have felt an improvement. This solidifies my hope that, this isn't me, it's the meds. Even though I'm going through some tough life stuff, I am still doing rather well dealing with these unwanted feelings. However, I will be REALLY happy when they go away completely. :D

I am going to keep pushing forward. The nausea has subsided a bit. My doctor says what I am feeling is normal. If I stay with logical thought, I think I can keep my mind away from the negatives and make it through something I didn't think I could do.

I did listen to a cd where Lucinda said to someone -- how much do you believe you can do this on a scale of 1 to 10. They said 1. She asked, what is your desire to do this. They said 10. She said, then you can do it, we just have to get you to believe more. I am really trying to believe in myself. I think I might be surprised at how strong I really am. Fingers crossed.

cathyyvonne
Posts: 4
Joined: Thu Nov 29, 2012 12:34 am

Re: Working on getting off my meds. Could use some support.

Post by cathyyvonne » Thu Jun 13, 2013 12:18 am

You are going to be totally OK. Give yourself some slack. You have help to come off your meds. Relax and trust the help you are getting. Of course you are going to be anxious. I am sure the feelings are withdraw related but even so you have to know you will get through this anxiety with or without medication. I know how easy it is to doubt and scare yourself when you want something so bad. It is like when we are anxious we somehow let our minds try to sabotage things we look so forward to. That is normal under the circumstances. You have only scared yourself again slightly but remember they are only thoughts. Try not to force them away. Accept them. When we accept we relax. As I have heard before it is pretty hard to panic when we are relaxed. They will pass as you improve. Let the feelings be there. Accept them. You are entitled to be happy and you will be. You will find you will improve a little more everyday. Give it time. I love Claire Weeks saying. Face, accept, float and let time pass. That is my new motto.

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