Trying to reduce meds...but nervous about it

[seasand]

I have been on Effexor for a couple years now, and have been on many others over the years. The reason I take them, is I have a lot of racing thoughts and get overwhelmed very easy and start stapping at my family for small things. I am nervous about going off, becasue I am too hard on my family, even worried about our family falling apart because of my anxiety. But at the same time, taking all these meds for so long, has been hard on my body, a lot of side effects, and I feel like a zombie.

It would be ideal to be off the meds, and really try to think about the source of feelings, and work on, do the homework for program.

The problem is, When I'm on the meds, and a zombie, I can't really get to the source of my feelings. But when I am off, It is hard to relax and concentrate to write anything down.... as you can see it is a double edge sword. Is the program that good, where I could even relax enough to sit down and write things down and do the homework? Any ideas? am I making any sense?