Do I really need these stimulants???????
Do I really need these stimulants???????
This one has been driving me crazy for, well, years. I have been taking stimulant medications (concerta, adderall xr, etc.) on and off for years. When I take them, they really do allow me to better focus and be more productive at work, but they also make me more anxious. I have always had a general anxiety sort of thing going on, but not until very recent years did I get hit pretty hard with some pretty serious depression as well. There are definitely things that I still avoid out of fear, that I'm trying to work on, and going through the program again. Of course the program keeps preaching that you should try to eliminate all stimulants, but I fear if I do that, I will really lose my edge at work, and then the fear (of losing my job) and depression cycle will hit again. I'm also wondering if I'm just using the stimulants as more of an antidepressant just to get through my days?? I know, I'm all over the place - I guess because there are a lot of factors here, and I just can't figure it all out. I guess what I'm wondering is am I taking these because I really do need them, or because they just help to not be afraid of losing my job, because I can't handle work well enough without them??? Ugh..
Re: Do I really need these stimulants???????
Hi Crave,
Haven't heard from you in quite a while. Of course, I don't come on the forum much anymore either. I am really not qualified to answer your question, because I know absolutely nothing about the meds you are discussing. I am assuming you have discussed this issue with a really good anxiety/depression therapist or psychiatrist--if not, you should get an informed opinion. However, you know yourself better than any doctor. Have you considered that since we have such perfectionistic tendencies, that maybe you do a quite adequate job without the meds, but you are demanding perfection of yourself? Just a thought--I could be totally off base. Also, my therapist has told me that anxiety and depression are two sides of the same coin. Lucinda says in her beginning lessons that if you are stressed and anxious long enough, you can become depressed. So what has happened to you is nothing unusual, sad to say.
Do you think the fear of losing your job is reality based, or are you just obsessing about it because of your fear? Most people feel pretty insecure about their jobs in this economy and everywhere you read that people's anxiety levels are at an all-time high. You know your workplace, so try to get calm and write this out. Writing down some of these issues will be helpful I think because it will force you to look at the situation more rationally. My therapist has me do an exercise he calls worry steps. You 1)notice you are feeling anxious. 2) Identify the belief of how worry helps you here (stuff like prevent bad things from happening, makes me more prepared, helps problem solve, watch out for danger, show I care, etc.) 3) evaluate the validity of that belief, 4) identify the fear behind the worry 5) look at the fear and accept it as a possibility, even if only for 30 seconds, 6) do cognitive restructuring, 7) accept all possibilities, the good ones and the bad one and 8) tolerate the uncertainty, focus on the now and go through your day. If you find that you have a valid worry, then he advises you to sit down and problem solve instead of worrying. He believes that to get over our anxiety we have to face it and accept it. Lucinda says the same thing, but i went through her program three times before I got it. She was more subtle about it than he is. I fought anxiety tooth and nail for a long time; now I am trying another approach and it does seem to make me less obsessive over things I fear. However, I have not been doing it too long, so don't know how it will turn out. And I can tell you for sure that it is not easy to do.
Hope I have not been totally off base with this answer. It is really thorny issue that you are facing. Hope you can get it figured out, but it may take some professional help because it sounds pretty complicated to me. Wishing you all the best!!
Haven't heard from you in quite a while. Of course, I don't come on the forum much anymore either. I am really not qualified to answer your question, because I know absolutely nothing about the meds you are discussing. I am assuming you have discussed this issue with a really good anxiety/depression therapist or psychiatrist--if not, you should get an informed opinion. However, you know yourself better than any doctor. Have you considered that since we have such perfectionistic tendencies, that maybe you do a quite adequate job without the meds, but you are demanding perfection of yourself? Just a thought--I could be totally off base. Also, my therapist has told me that anxiety and depression are two sides of the same coin. Lucinda says in her beginning lessons that if you are stressed and anxious long enough, you can become depressed. So what has happened to you is nothing unusual, sad to say.
Do you think the fear of losing your job is reality based, or are you just obsessing about it because of your fear? Most people feel pretty insecure about their jobs in this economy and everywhere you read that people's anxiety levels are at an all-time high. You know your workplace, so try to get calm and write this out. Writing down some of these issues will be helpful I think because it will force you to look at the situation more rationally. My therapist has me do an exercise he calls worry steps. You 1)notice you are feeling anxious. 2) Identify the belief of how worry helps you here (stuff like prevent bad things from happening, makes me more prepared, helps problem solve, watch out for danger, show I care, etc.) 3) evaluate the validity of that belief, 4) identify the fear behind the worry 5) look at the fear and accept it as a possibility, even if only for 30 seconds, 6) do cognitive restructuring, 7) accept all possibilities, the good ones and the bad one and 8) tolerate the uncertainty, focus on the now and go through your day. If you find that you have a valid worry, then he advises you to sit down and problem solve instead of worrying. He believes that to get over our anxiety we have to face it and accept it. Lucinda says the same thing, but i went through her program three times before I got it. She was more subtle about it than he is. I fought anxiety tooth and nail for a long time; now I am trying another approach and it does seem to make me less obsessive over things I fear. However, I have not been doing it too long, so don't know how it will turn out. And I can tell you for sure that it is not easy to do.
Hope I have not been totally off base with this answer. It is really thorny issue that you are facing. Hope you can get it figured out, but it may take some professional help because it sounds pretty complicated to me. Wishing you all the best!!
Re: Do I really need these stimulants???????
Hey samcat!! Was wondering if I might encounter any familiar faces on here - I haven't been on here in a while either. I was reluctant to even post anything about this, because it seems like I should just be able to figure this out for myself, but, well, that hasn't been working out so great either. Lol. Then again, I think I have really known all along, what the real "answer" is here - but was AFRAID to face it. The answer of course being that I don't really NEED these meds - I am just AFRAID that, without them, I won't be "effective enough" at my job. Interesting that you mention that anxiety is at an all-time high in this economy, because it was back a few years ago, when the economy really tanked, that I almost lost my job, and this HORRIBLE fear took over - that I would actually lose my job if I didn't up my game (which was something that the stimulants always seemed to help me do). That is where this all stems from, and it was one of the first times that I was really trying to have a go without the stimulants, but then the fear of losing my job kicked in, and I felt like I just couldn't handle it. Since then, I have been on and off of them - but usually when I go off of them, it's not too long before I feel like I'm slipping a bit, and I feel like I need them back. I'm pretty sure it's just all fear-based! So you were dead on. 
So, I am going to have another go at coming back off of these, and recognizing this for what it really is, when/if it crops back up again.
I love the worry steps!! Will definitely try those on, and see how they fit. And thanks for the great response in general. Maybe I did already know the answer here - but it sure is nice to have someone validate it - and also help me feel like I'm not totally insane.
Thanks again. I hope all is well with you.
So, I am going to have another go at coming back off of these, and recognizing this for what it really is, when/if it crops back up again.
I love the worry steps!!
Will definitely try those on, and see how they fit. And thanks for the great response in general. Maybe I did already know the answer here - but it sure is nice to have someone validate it - and also help me feel like I'm not totally insane.Thanks again. I hope all is well with you.