From Hawaii

[Char808]

Hi, I’m in session 3 of the program. I have to admit that I’m not exactly staying on track but I am determined to get through.

My name is Char, I’m 31, I live on Oahu and I’ve been having bad panic attacks since Easter of this year. I went out partying with my gf the night before until the sun came up, now that I think of it, what a horrible way to celebrate Jesus’ resurrection. I woke up super hungover and I expended a lot of energy and didn’t eat or drink anything. I went driving to pick up my gf and on the way there I felt a weird sensation through my head. I got worried but stayed calm, but I could tell something was wrong. I kept driving even though I was scared. I started taking really deep breaths. I told my gf I needed water or something to eat. My body was so tingly and my hands started cramping up. I thought I was going to pass out or have a heart attack. I chugged old water in the car and an Arizona iced tea and ate some rice Krispy treat. I was panicking like I’ve never done before. I thought I was gonna die. My friend rushed me to the hospital and I started to feel better once we got there. I still went in and found out I was dehydrated and I also suspected my blood sugar was low. They asked me if anything was stressing me out, which I thought was a weird thing to ask. I told them not more than I can handle. They told me to go home eat and rest, so that’s what I did. I thought everything was going back to normal…

My normal was being an independent woman with a business who loves Jiu Jitsu, hiking, going to the beach, loves my family and friends and was known to be happy. But was I? Going through this program I’m leaning I’m not who I thought I was. I have so many fears and worries and so negative towards myself. Putting it out there to the world that I’m “put together” when really it was all a lie! I was lying to myself. Not taking care of myself. Taking care of everyone else more than myself. I never cared for myself. I never knew who I was. I never loved myself! How could I let this happen?

Two days passed and everything seemed normal. Until the next night I woke up not feeling well. Feeling similar to when I went to the hospital. What was happening? I didn’t know I was having a panic attack. Long story short, I was really struggling and I still am even though I’m learning a lot. I went to Texas with a guy that I was dating and the panic attacks got worse. I had to come back home. I couldn’t sleep at all for dayssss 4-5 days with no sleep at all.

I’m feel like I’m learning to handle the anxiety and depression but I’ve never been here before and it’s the first time in my life That I’m losing hope. Some days are better than others but the body symptoms are what gets me. Sometimes I feel “normal” but most days I have body symptoms and my mind just wanders. Wanders to places I’ve never thought of. I don’t want to be the person I was before because a ton of positive changes have come. I’ve stopped drinking, I’m getting closer to God, I’ve stopped a lot of things that were unhealthy for me. But will this ever end? The program gives me hope but will I really overcome this? Honestly, right now, I can’t see it. Forgive me for sounding so negative.

If anyone is out there that I can talk to and ask questions, that would be much appreciated.

Much love and God Bless,
Char

[coachchris]

Hi Char,

I replied to you in an email.
Thanks for sharing your story in the forums.
It sounds like you are already getting some great insights into thinking better and feeling better.
Many of us have a "perfect storm" story where our body rebelled against the way we were treating it. We can learn a lot from these experiences and begin to take steps toward healthy self-management.
I would review lesson 2 and the six steps while also observing your selftalk and how it makes you feel. Remember, every thought carries a chemistry and we can learn to think better and feel better.

Isaiah 61:1-4 is also a great scripture verse to put our hope in.

I look forward to your reply and remember to check out my "Ask Coach Chris" thread in the "Personal Coaching" forum.
Warmly,
Coach Chris

[sbmiller]

Hi Char,
My name is Sharilyn and like you, I have started this program and I can totally relate to your story. One evening after super, it came over me like a really bad train wreck. Thinking I was going to die that day. Ambulances and fire department came and they took me to the hospital, where everything checked out great. Surely, they missed something, a few nights later I was right back at the emergency room where again, I was perfectly fine. Everything checked out, I am a healthy horse haha. Something is amiss. Thinking, these professionals are absolutely skipping a step in my care. Yet each time, diagnosis was anxiety. I was in total doubt about the whole idea that I was suffering from anxiety. Then a third visit to the emergency room came a few more nights later and well I said enough is enough. What is wrong with me?! Thankfully a nurse, who was so kind and understanding told me about her episodes of anxiety and explained to me about how they can make a person feel. She also let me in on how she deals with anxiety. Soon after, my husband purchased The Combatting Stress and Depression Program by Lucinda Bassette. Naturally I was skeptical and very resistant at first but about the 4th night of no sleep, and only cat naps. I decided then, to change my life, regaining my faith I once had as a child, starting this program and taking better care of myself, love myself. Tomorrow, I will be starting session 2 of the program and I am very hopeful for this journey. Some days, like yourself, I get disappointed and frustrated with the progress, I am the personality where I want things done yesterday lol. Lately, for me what seems to help when I feel hopeless and in despair, I go and plant my feet in the ground. Sounds silly I know, but it brings me back for some reason, literal grounding. I hope you find comfort that you are not alone.
God Bless and Take Care
-Sharilyn

[Char808]

Thank you @coachchris I’m on session 4 right now. I’m trying to expose myself to things that were normal before like going out of the house, going to the mall, appointments, driving a couple times. I’m a person that will push myself but sometimes idk how much is too much. I’ve never felt this “weak” before. I struggle with body symptoms that change. Right now it’s dizziness, spacey feelings, weakness. I worry about my blood sugar being too low and don’t know if I’ve had blood sugar attacks or panic attacks. One day I felt like I was going to faint and was shivering so much even thought it was warm in the room. I called my Dr. And he said it might have been a panic attack?! I was so confused. It feels like I need to eat food right away and sugary food. I’ve been eating a lot healthier and staying away from sugar. Exercising regularly as well. I had another attack where my head started feeling weird out of nowhere and I felt like I was going to pass out if I didn’t get sugar. I tested my blood sugar a few times and it’s normal. It’s crazy to me, but how can that all be created in my head? Even when I’m feeling good and I don’t think I’m thinking of anything negative. I start worrying only when the body symptoms come on. Maybe I’m missing something or need to process more but this has been my biggest struggle. Also feelings of doom and catastrophe and bad things happening don’t seem to leave my mind. I’ve never thought like this before. I haven’t gone back to work for a while because I have to be 100% feeling well and focused to do my job or it can be dangerous. I know it says to not wait to do things but I don’t think it would be safe to do my job with the way that I’m feeling. But I also want to not fear it. Thank you for the scripture. I will definitely look it up and meditate on it. I really really appreciate you and thank you so much.

Much love and God bless
Char

Hi Char,

I replied to you in an email.
Thanks for sharing your story in the forums.
It sounds like you are already getting some great insights into thinking better and feeling better.
Many of us have a "perfect storm" story where our body rebelled against the way we were treating it. We can learn a lot from these experiences and begin to take steps toward healthy self-management.
I would review lesson 2 and the six steps while also observing your selftalk and how it makes you feel. Remember, every thought carries a chemistry and we can learn to think better and feel better.

Isaiah 61:1-4 is also a great scripture verse to put our hope in.

I look forward to your reply and remember to check out my "Ask Coach Chris" thread in the "Personal Coaching" forum.
Warmly,
Coach Chris

[Char808]

Hi Sharilyn!

Thank you so much for replying! I didn’t know there were still people on here lol. But it lifted my spirits to see your reply. I’m on session 4 now and I’m super serious about my recovery.

Can I ask you, what kind of struggles and successes have you had so far with the anxiety?

And do you know what triggered the anxiety?

I appreciate you so much.

Much love and God Bless,
Char

Hi Char,
My name is Sharilyn and like you, I have started this program and I can totally relate to your story. One evening after super, it came over me like a really bad train wreck. Thinking I was going to die that day. Ambulances and fire department came and they took me to the hospital, where everything checked out great. Surely, they missed something, a few nights later I was right back at the emergency room where again, I was perfectly fine. Everything checked out, I am a healthy horse haha. Something is amiss. Thinking, these professionals are absolutely skipping a step in my care. Yet each time, diagnosis was anxiety. I was in total doubt about the whole idea that I was suffering from anxiety. Then a third visit to the emergency room came a few more nights later and well I said enough is enough. What is wrong with me?! Thankfully a nurse, who was so kind and understanding told me about her episodes of anxiety and explained to me about how they can make a person feel. She also let me in on how she deals with anxiety. Soon after, my husband purchased The Combatting Stress and Depression Program by Lucinda Bassette. Naturally I was skeptical and very resistant at first but about the 4th night of no sleep, and only cat naps. I decided then, to change my life, regaining my faith I once had as a child, starting this program and taking better care of myself, love myself. Tomorrow, I will be starting session 2 of the program and I am very hopeful for this journey. Some days, like yourself, I get disappointed and frustrated with the progress, I am the personality where I want things done yesterday lol. Lately, for me what seems to help when I feel hopeless and in despair, I go and plant my feet in the ground. Sounds silly I know, but it brings me back for some reason, literal grounding. I hope you find comfort that you are not alone.
God Bless and Take Care
-Sharilyn

[sbmiller]

Good evening Char!
Lol I know! I was looking at the last time ppl have been posting on here. Some were as far back as 2006! EEKK! haha I am incredibly grateful you replied. I am happy to hear your in session 4, that is amazingly awesome! I too am super serious about my recovery! Hopefully, we can continue to encourage one another thru this.
I just begun session 2 yesterday, I ended up using the steps this evening, I had a mini panic attack and I am not sure what trigger the reason for the sudden attack. I was sitting on the couch, playing Xbox game when it occurred, maybe I was thinking during my game playing and not even realize it. Luckily, I had my carry along card next to me and I followed the 6 steps and quickly came out of it. Thank God and Lucinda lol!
Some struggles I experience are because of my personality traits; obsessive thinker, over reactor, want things done yesterday, and of course controlling. Breaking those traits has been my biggest struggle especially when I am laying down for bed. Most times, I can't fall asleep fast and usually end up having an attack. Then I will have a need to jump out of bed and do something, but I don't instead I breathe and play the relaxation session and pray.
Some of the successes I have notice is, when my mind wonders I am able to recognize it and will bring myself back to the present. For example, yesterday on our way to church, my husband made a comment and it really turned ON a switch. Funny thing is, I can't remember what he said and the over reactor trait, decided to SNAP at my husband. Poor guy! I love him so much and I quickly said to myself, this man loves you and he meant nothing by it. Then I reflected on why I snapped at him, I realized I had been thinking about how impatient I am with myself and worried if this program will even work. Later, my husband said that he is very proud of me and my progress, and he can see a big difference. Very reassuring to hear from husband about this program and my growth. Another success, since starting this program and reconnecting with The Great Creator, our marriage has been much better with communication and expressing our love for one another.
Some of my triggers can be explained by sugar! I know, it's sad to hear lol. One night, I had a bowl of cereal and PB Sandwich, sugar craving and that night I had a full-on panic attack! Heart racing, palpitations, sweat and mind overloaded, thinking about everything and anything. So now, I cut myself off of sugar around 5 pm unless I plan on exercising that night then I will cut it off at 7pm.

How about you? what kind of struggles are you experiencing since beginning this program? Or before the program? How did you overcome those struggles? Do you know your anxiety triggers? What type of support do you have? How did you hear about this program?

I am new to the state of New Mexico and I don't have any friends here, yet. We now attended church to hopefully not only reconnect with the Lord but also to meet new people. The pandemic has really made is challenging to connect with new people. My support is mostly my husband and family and friends from afar. I prefer going out to meet with people and engage in face to face conversation, it's ideal for me. But I will take any support I can get lol!
My husband used to work for a company that helped sell Lucinda's program over 16 years ago and that is how this program ended up in my lap. God works in glorious ways!

Again, I am very happy and appreciate you replying and I look forward to hearing from you! Have a wonderful evening Char!

Love and peace,
Sharilyn

[Char808]

Good evening Sharilyn!

This is so funny to me because it’s like in the “good ole days” when we had pen pals or instant messenger and you can’t see who you’re talking to lol!

Anyways, you are a blessing to me and I appreciate you as well. That’s amazing that you’re using the steps already and they’re working! You must be a really strong willed woman. Just like your Xbox experience, I noticed before that I would be feeling good and get attacks out of nowhere and not know what I was thinking about. The body symptoms are what get me and then my mind starts thinking negatively. But I learned somewhere else that the negativity from all those years before is in our subconscious and it can make our body react but over time if we keep using the tools it will eventually go away completely and our subconscious and body and mind will trust us again.

I love that you’re having a lot of self realizations and can recognize what you are great at and what you can improve on; that’s very motivating.

And it sounds like you have a great relationship with your husband. You guys are inspiring. We’re all human and make mistakes and sometimes react to things in the wrong way. But look at you! Realizing what needed to be done to make the situation better. I love that. I’m so happy that your relationship with God and your husband has strengthened through this. That’s something I’ve noticed since this started. I only viewed it as bad before but I’ve noticed that it’s brought a huge positive change in my life. I’ve been staying away from sugar out of fear that it will hype my body up, and plus it’s a blessing because I’ve been wanting to stay away from sugar.

Struggles beginning this program is realizing that I’m not who I thought I was and that things that I learned as a child are not healthy things. Like perfectionism, people pleaser, I didn’t know I needed to be in control, I didn’t know I was an obsessive thinker, catastrophizer, etc. but I’m always wanting to learn and grow and be better. I also struggle with not caring and loving myself and that’s something I’m really focusing on. And always wondering if this program really will work as well and I’m impatient with myself too. I’m usually good at problem solving and being strong and independent and this whole anxiety thing really flipped my world upside down. I started having health anxiety and fearing death. Fearing other people dying. I don’t leave the house as much and don’t drive as much. I loved driving before (fun fact: I even have a standard car) and now I barely drive. My friends and I would do 8-9 hour hikes up huge mountains before and not really think twice about it. And now it saddens me that right now I can barely do an easy hike. But I need to keep telling myself that I am healing and I am progressing. I am exposing myself more and doing things that make me uncomfortable but sometimes idk what is too much. I’m used to always pushing myself to the limit or past it. But now I notice that I need to pay attention to what my body is telling me and be more caring and patient with myself.
I also struggle with thinking that I will have a low blood sugar attack. That’s one thing that really can get me. I used to check my blood sugar but it was always normal. So now I just tell myself that I need to accept that I’m healthy and I get through a lot of things by doing the 2-4 breathing. Sometimes I do it even when I start to feel a little anxious and it helps. My mind wanders and it’s almost like it wants me to remember negative things when when I’m feeling great. But I just breathe and do a lot of positive self talk and tell myself truths.

I think my triggers are my thoughts and fears because I do notice that if I’m not thinking negatively I feel great and if negative thoughts get into my mind I start to feel a warm sensation in my stomach or chest. So I breathe through it and do more self talk.

I’m fortunate to have a lot of family and friends that are supporting me through this. I’m super thankful and blessed for them. I’m finally building a relationship with Jesus and I’m super super thankful for that.

I heard about this program through one of my good friends who struggled with anxiety for a lot of her life and she said besides God, this was the only other thing that would help her.
I’m searching and doing a lot to get better. That could be a good and a bad thing. But I recently found a guy on YouTube named Trey Jones who has helped me a lot too.

Are you on any medication?
What kind of body symptoms do you experience?

God really does work in glorious and mysterious ways!. I’m happy that He lead us to connect and support each other. I really appreciate you as well Sharilyn and can’t wait to hear back.

Much love and God bless,
Char

[Char808]

Good evening Sharilyn!

This is so funny to me because it’s like in the “good ole days” when we had pen pals or instant messenger and you can’t see who you’re talking to lol!

Anyways, you are a blessing to me and I appreciate you as well. That’s amazing that you’re using the steps already and they’re working! You must be a really strong willed woman. Just like your Xbox experience, I noticed before that I would be feeling good and get attacks out of nowhere and not know what I was thinking about. The body symptoms are what get me and then my mind starts thinking negatively. But I learned somewhere else that the negativity from all those years before is in our subconscious and it can make our body react but over time if we keep using the tools it will eventually go away completely and our subconscious and body and mind will trust us again.

I love that you’re having a lot of self realizations and can recognize what you are great at and what you can improve on; that’s very motivating.

And it sounds like you have a great relationship with your husband. You guys are inspiring. We’re all human and make mistakes and sometimes react to things in the wrong way. But look at you! Realizing what needed to be done to make the situation better. I love that. I’m so happy that your relationship with God and your husband has strengthened through this. That’s something I’ve noticed since this started. I only viewed it as bad before but I’ve noticed that it’s brought a huge positive change in my life. I’ve been staying away from sugar out of fear that it will hype my body up, and plus it’s a blessing because I’ve been wanting to stay away from sugar.

Struggles beginning this program is realizing that I’m not who I thought I was and that things that I learned as a child are not healthy things. Like perfectionism, people pleaser, I didn’t know I needed to be in control, I didn’t know I was an obsessive thinker, catastrophizer, etc. but I’m always wanting to learn and grow and be better. I also struggle with not caring and loving myself and that’s something I’m really focusing on. And always wondering if this program really will work as well and I’m impatient with myself too. I’m usually good at problem solving and being strong and independent and this whole anxiety thing really flipped my world upside down. I started having health anxiety and fearing death. Fearing other people dying. I don’t leave the house as much and don’t drive as much. I loved driving before (fun fact: I even have a standard car) and now I barely drive. My friends and I would do 8-9 hour hikes up huge mountains before and not really think twice about it. And now it saddens me that right now I can barely do an easy hike. But I need to keep telling myself that I am healing and I am progressing. I am exposing myself more and doing things that make me uncomfortable but sometimes idk what is too much. I’m used to always pushing myself to the limit or past it. But now I notice that I need to pay attention to what my body is telling me and be more caring and patient with myself.
I also struggle with thinking that I will have a low blood sugar attack. That’s one thing that really can get me. I used to check my blood sugar but it was always normal. So now I just tell myself that I need to accept that I’m healthy and I get through a lot of things by doing the 2-4 breathing. Sometimes I do it even when I start to feel a little anxious and it helps. My mind wanders and it’s almost like it wants me to remember negative things when when I’m feeling great. But I just breathe and do a lot of positive self talk and tell myself truths.

I think my triggers are my thoughts and fears because I do notice that if I’m not thinking negatively I feel great and if negative thoughts get into my mind I start to feel a warm sensation in my stomach or chest. So I breathe through it and do more self talk.

I’m fortunate to have a lot of family and friends that are supporting me through this. I’m super thankful and blessed for them. I’m finally building a relationship with Jesus and I’m super super thankful for that.

I heard about this program through one of my good friends who struggled with anxiety for a lot of her life and she said besides God, this was the only other thing that would help her.
I’m searching and doing a lot to get better. That could be a good and a bad thing. But I recently found a guy on YouTube named Trey Jones who has helped me a lot too.

Are you on any medication?
What kind of body symptoms do you experience?

God really does work in glorious and mysterious ways!. I’m happy that He lead us to connect and support each other. I really appreciate you as well Sharilyn and can’t wait to hear back.

Much love and God bless,
Char

[sbmiller]

Good evening Char!
Last night, I wrote this long reply and for some reason or another it did not post on here, so here is my second try at this.
I remember pen pals! When I was in grade school our teachers had us write other students from different schools, it was exciting and fun! Thank you for your kind words, and Thank You for replying back it means more than you will ever know. I feel safe telling you my struggles even though we don't know each other well. Anxiety is our common ground and a very sensitive topic for myself to bring to light, so thank you! I happy you have the support of family and friends, near you. I am hoping to begin making friends thru out connect group with church. I need human to human interaction and not just my family at home. Don't get me wrong I love them beyond words but it's nicer talking with a stranger and hear their insights. Which is why I am so gratefully for you!

You are right negativity pollutes our subconscious and turns our minds against us. We truly do it to ourselves but thankfully we have resources to reach out to and help us win the battle of anxiety.

Well look at you for identifying your struggles, that is AWESOME! It helps with implementing the steps to combat anxiety. You have taken great steps to move forward in your recovery, I am so happy for you! And genuinely excited about your journey with God, he never left you and has been waiting for you to come to him. Today's church service was about Relaxing, and the message was, come as you are, lay your faith in me, be still and know I am God. Today's sermon spoke to my heart because all I want is to fall asleep without an attack. I am not sure why I have such a hard time falling asleep, I am exhausted and my husband mentions perhaps I have energy to burn. So tonight, I will be doing some light exercise before bed to see it'll help. Fingers crossed lol

Thank you, my husband and I are trying to work thru this program together, while he doesn't experience the episodes we share, he does realize anxiety plays part in his life. And that's all anyone need to start seeking help.

You are not alone, I too also fear death, driving, caffeine, sugar, falling asleep, raising my heart rate, health and being alone for all periods of time. Sometimes my husband leaves for overnight travels and I am left without him. Before my major anxiety attack, I have had plenty of success with him leaving and it not bother myself one bit. Now, it's opposite. But I push myself thru it and everything turns out great.

I am glad you brought up the idea that you realized you are not the person you thought you were, looking back at my first marriage my ex-husband used to tell me, why are you always saying "what if, what if, what if" and it use to drive me up the wall. Because I didn't think obsessive thinking was bad, now I know better lol I am happy to hear you are wanting to learn, grow and strive to become a better version of you. Especially, with taking care and loving yourself; I too share that same struggle. Remember, you deserve love, you deserve care and you are worth all the patience you need! Take your time and find joy in this rediscovery.

It is so easy to look at the past and wish things were the same, however as we go thru this program our version of what we thought reality was, is now distorted. While I am sad to hear you aren't able to make those 8-9 hours hikes, take comfort in knowing you are able to make those easy hikes. (Side note: WOW 8-9 hours!!! You Go!) you will be there again, I believe! Keep that attitude UP and keep getting OUT THERE! I am so proud of you! Our "comfort zone" needs to expand beyond boundaries. We got this!

I need to look up this Trey Jones on YouTube; I have been keeping myself away from television for awhile (I enjoy YT better on TV lol). No anxiety reason, just want to replace TV time with being more attentive with God and getting out of the house.

I am not currently on any medication however, I was on Celexa then was switch to Zoloft and also prescribed prazosin. Unfortunately, I felt more depressed and almost max out on dosage. I made the decision to taper off Zoloft and prazosin and just focus on my therapy sessions. To be honest, I truly felt more helped with therapy than medication. BUT, I lost my insurance coverage 7 months ago and there was a miscommunication with my husband's insurance and I have been without coverage since. Thankfully, I will be covered come this January and I will begin starting my therapy again. I guess you can say I love to talk lol!!!

My body symptoms come as follows, my heart will flutter, the back of my head will feel like it is melting, then dizziness, heart will begin to palpitate, negative thoughts will begin to make an appearance, face will flush and get warm, then my heart will be racing. Finally the sweating EVERYWHERE!!! congrats full on anxiety attack is in effect! LOL BUT I try to stop it at heart flutter and implement the 6 steps, which honestly, has done worked. There were times I will make it to negative thoughts but not a full-on panic attack. Thank God! I need to improve on my inner dialogue sometimes when I work the 6 steps, I become frustrated because I find it hard to come up with the words to encourage myself. I usually read the carry along cards to help with this.

How about you, are taking any medications? or vitamins?
How is Hawaii? What is it like? I haven't been but would love to go one day!

Well, this reply was a lot shorter than my previous attempt haha; Thank you so much for reading my messages and for replying to them, I can't thank you enough. I will keep you in my prayers! God is good, God is great!

Love and Peace,
Sharilyn

[Char808]

Hi Sharilyn!

The same thing happened to me and I lost my whole reply back lol! I guess we need to copy the whole message before sending just to be safe.

I’m so glad that you feel safe sharing with me as I do with you. And I thank you and appreciate you so so much. It’s not easy sharing vulnerabilities, especially to someone you don’t know, so thank you for being that safe place for me as well. Another common ground that we have is God and Jesus! He is so good! I pray that you find more friends in Christ. I was just telling my sister in Christ that I only have two friends that believe in God and she told me to pray for more and God will give them to me. I believe that He will bring them to you as well.

Thank you so much for your kind words🥺. I’ve noticed that I sometimes have a hard time accepting or believing the good things that people tell me but I’m starting to accept and believe them more and more. Thank you for sharing your church sermon with me! I haven’t gone to church in a few months. I really miss the praise and worship. I relate to that message as well because I’ve been questioning whether or not I’ve been doing enough for God and questioning what I should be doing and I start to overthink and over Analyze and stress and put myself down and I know God didn’t want that for us. He wants us to live in His peace and Joy and show people Jesus through us. I want to help everyone and I realize that I need go help myself first before I can help others. I’m in a healing and growing stage and I need to realize that I’m growing in Christ. And I thank Him for this opportunity to learn and grow through Him. Even talking it out with you is helping me answer my own questions and realize things so thank you so so much.

I Understand the struggles with sleep. And I pray that you can get better rest in God. My sleep is becoming more consistent and enjoyable. The tools that help me sleep is talking to the anxiety. I would literally say out loud “hello anxiety, I acknowledge that you’re there and you can come for a moment but you cannot live in me. You do not control me and I do not fear you.” And surprisingly it went away. I rebuke SATAN a lot too. The key is to know the anxiety is there but not let it bug you or don’t fear it. I would tell myself it’s ok if you don’t fall asleep right now, your body will eventually fall asleep. Or tell myself it’s ok if I have a panic attack in the middle of the night, I’ll use the steps to get through it. I would be afraid to go to sleep and I became afraid of the night because I knew I would have a hard time sleeping. Try not to worry about it or try not to think things like “ugh, I’m probably going to have a hard time sleeping.” Be patient and kind to yourself. I’m so happy that you got some exercise in! I try to exercise everyday and I do believe it helps. Try not to exercise 2 hours or so before bed it’s better to do it in the morning or afternoon so your body can wind down. Try not to eat right before bed either. Before bed I pray and journal and do the feel better tape. Sometimes I’ll do the 2-4 breathing the whole time until I fall asleep. Or I’ll read a book. I hope these tips that helped me can help you too. Main thing is to trust in God and not fear the anxiety. We will find rest in Him.

That’s so amazing that you and your husband are doing the program together! That’s a huge blessing.

You’re strong to push through and are able to be alone. I really struggle with fully being alone. I noticed that I’ve never really been alone all my life and I always fear someone will hurt me and I have to ask myself, where does that come from? From my childhood? I’m not sure but it’s something that I’m exploring and telling myself that I am safe and I don’t need to be on high alert unless something is actually happening! I’m realizing that fear is the sickness and to get rid of it is the cure. We’re so riddled with fear, but God did not create us to be like that. Anxiety is not of God! It’s something that we created and are self destructing. Through God we can conquer this!

Thank you so much Sharilyn. I really do appreciate your kind words, more than you know. That’s so awesome that you’ve had so many realizations as well. I learned a lot about relationships and always thought the guy was the root of the problem. But from a distance I came to understand that I caused a lot of problems and didn’t know how to be in a healthy relationship. I made the mistake of not being single for long enough to get to know about myself. I’m focusing on God and myself now and am thankful for this opportunity to learn and grow. I also hope you know that you are so beautiful and even though I can’t see you, I can feel your inner beauty, genuineness, and authenticity. And you’re a true blessing from God and you’re helping me in my journey and life.

You’re so right, I need to trust God and know and be patient that I am healing and growing and I will be able to do the healthy things I did before if God is willing. I’m thankful for what I have. I started writing 3 things I’m grateful for everyday and I really do have a lot. I noticed that we have so much of an abundance nowadays that we miss the little things that we have.

Is there something that you’re working towards overcoming or doing again?

That’s so good, I’m on my phone too much especially before the anxiety and it’s something I want to change. I also heard of this book called DARE that helped many people recover from anxiety. I’ll tell you more about it as I go through it. My theory is that the recovery process is all similar, to change our mindsets and not fear. But we also know that the main thing is so trust and surrender to God.

I’m sorry that you didn’t have insurance for a while and glad that you’re getting it back! I’m scared of medication and I’m more into natural remedies. I did take lorazepam as needed but don’t want to take it. I’m trying these calm tabs by Puritans pride, it can help you sleep as well. I try to take vitamin D, zinc, b complex, and folic acid. And I try my best to eat healthy. I love that you love to talk lol! I’m part Portuguese and in Hawaii we joke around that Portuguese people loveee to talk. But I’m actually pretty chill and calm. I can talk if I need to but I guess I like writing lol. May I ask you, what ethnicity are you? In Hawaii most of us are mixed so we ask everyone what they are lol. I’m Japanese, Okinawan, Hawaiian, Portuguese, and Chinese. That’s called “mixed plate” in Hawaii lol which most of us are.

I can relate to that. I’m glad you’re able to stop it now! Good job! I was having a hard time with recognizing negative thoughts and replacing it with a positive one. Session 3 really helped me. One night I was having so many negative thoughts and had to combat them the whole night and I started talking to myself like I would to a friend and it was the first time I talked to myself with compassion and patience! It was a crazy realization and discovery for me. I learned how to talk to myself positively! And I started to calm down and feel good. The key for me was to talk to myself as I was talking to a friend. You’ll get it! It takes time and practice even thought it seems so simple. It’s something I’m still working on.

Hawaii is so beautiful, I love it here. You have to come and visit when you can. We don’t have the best government so we’re restricted with Covid and the vaccine. Can eat in restaurants unless you’re vaccinated or get tested right before. Anyways, Hawaii has amazing beaches and Mountain Views. Winter time has started and it’s in the 60-70 degree zone which is freezing for us lol. It’s been raining a lot as well. I need to realize that I live in a place that people only dream of coming to. And be thankful and grateful to have lived here my whole life. I pray God heals this world and the people in it and gets a hold of all the leaders. I hope you get to experience Hawaii one day. The other islands are different in their own way but all beautiful. We have so many different cultures and foods. If you come, you should eat authentic Hawaiian food. A lot of people don’t care for poi unless you were brought up on it, try look it up and you’ll understand why lol. But I love it. Hawaii is made up of mostly Asians and mixed people like me. Most people are very nice here unless we’re treated unfairly or people come in entitled thinking they own the place. Overall, there’s a lot to experience here especially if you like the outdoors and island beauty.

I bet we can write a book with all our messages to each other lol! Thank you so much for helping me and for the prayers! I appreciate you so so much. From the bottom of my heart, thank you and I will be praying for you and your family as well.

Looking forward to hearing back from you God is so good!

Much love and take care,
Char