Restarting the Program - Intro

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Sara_2019
Posts: 5
Joined: Wed Oct 02, 2019 12:57 pm

Restarting the Program - Intro

Post by Sara_2019 » Thu Dec 05, 2019 12:08 pm

Hello, everyone. My name is Sara. I have done some amazing things with the help of this program. For example, I met the man of my dreams, moved from California to Texas, been on multiple cruises to Alaska (among other vacations), got married, bought a house, etc. Unfortunately, I have reached a new plateau in my life at age 36 and I fell back into my old negative habits, so the anxiety and depression returned. It probably did not help that I was trying to get off the medication (Paxil), which I've been on for over a decade. I never quite finished the program the first time, but this time around I am determined to see it through to the end of Session 15 and hopefully rid myself of severe anxiety and depression once and for all. I've made it to session 4 so far. The hardest challenge for me is dealing with anticipatory anxiety for just about any event or activity outside of my comfort zone, and over the course of the past year or so my comfort zone has gotten pretty small. As a full-time worker, wife, and house-keeper, I have also lost sight of my personal goals and dreams, and become stagnate, losing interest in hobbies and not wanting to try new things. Meanwhile, my husband is the opposite of me, he has a lot of hobbies, and he is progressing with his education and career. It's hard not to compare myself and my lack of motivation with my spouse who is so motivated and proactive. Life is not a race, but I feel stuck in a rut and it's hard to express happiness for my husband, when I am beating myself down with a stick.

Bryce_in_TX
Posts: 43
Joined: Sat Sep 07, 2019 4:04 pm
Location: Wichita Falls, TX
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Re: Restarting the Program - Intro

Post by Bryce_in_TX » Sun Dec 08, 2019 12:21 am

Hi Sara and welcome to the forum.

Beating yourself up, did you say? I know they say take one part of the program each week, but Part 3: Self talk is key to getting better. Journaling the negative thoughts, the ones that are really bothering you, is very important. Then looking for the cognitive distortions in those thoughts and discovering them helps you replace them with loving, compassionate and more truthful thoughts.

I would encourage you to go easy on yourself. Are you still working? If so congratulations! That's positive and good. The lack of motivation could be due to the depression you say you're experiencing. Depression can do that to a person. Negative thoughts can cause depression. Working on changing those thoughts can help you feel better emotionally and has the potential power to bring you out of the depression. Been there, done that!

I'm not the best person to try and explain how all of this works, but I did find some success with the program. Found it in 1999. I was on depression meds for 40 years (yikes! :o ) and anti-anxiety meds for about 33 (double yikes!!! :shock: ). Off all of it now, for a little over 2 years. I'm continually cracking jokes now, not that they are funny to anyone else but me, but I know that laughter is an anti-dote for sadness and depression.

Today I remembered Bill Dana when he played Jose Jiminez, as the wife and I were Christmas shopping. I started saying "My name, my name is Jose Jiminez" in the car in the same mannerism as he said it a long time ago. My wife said I sure liked to entertain myself. She's right. I entertain myself all the time. It keeps the depression away. I may be stir crazy, but not depressed!!!!

Speaking of crazy, that reminds me of a couple of jokes:

"My psychiatrist said I was crazy. I said that I wanted a second opinion. He said, "Okay, your ugly, too."

"My wife and I went to see a psychiatrist. 'What can I do for you?' he asked. 'Our son has got an imaginary friend.' said my wife.
'There is nothing wrong with a good healthy imagination to help a child to develop and this is very common and nothing to worry about at all.' said the psychiatrist.

'We haven't got a son.' I replied."

I just wanted to say hi and welcome you to the forum. :mrgreen:
"Life's battles don't always go to the stronger or faster man, but sooner or later the man who wins is the one who thinks he can."

Napoleon Hill

Sara_2019
Posts: 5
Joined: Wed Oct 02, 2019 12:57 pm

Re: Restarting the Program - Intro

Post by Sara_2019 » Mon Dec 16, 2019 10:12 am

All good advice. I am a expert at cognitive distortions... or at least adding them to my life. :lol: Lessons 3 and 4 are great because I still struggle with my "Should" list and need to stop Should'ing all over myself, but I am also eager to reach Lesson 8 to address all the What-If's that make me anxious and depressed.

Yes, I am still working full-time (40 hrs). Thanks for the kudos. Some days are hard, especially around the holidays, which can be stressful and full of ridiculous expectations (Lesson 4), mainly about gifts and visiting family. I am glad that this forum is still around to post to when I need to be more open about my struggles. It can be like breath of fresh air to know that there is safe place to be honest about my anxiety and depression. I tend to avoid calling, texting, or chatting with family or friends about it because I don't like to burden the people I love and care for. I just saw a counselor last week, but I won't see her again until January, and I'm not sure she is the best fit since she doesn't use cognitive behavioral therapy and I think I learned more about her personal issues than she learned about mine. :?

time4me
Posts: 4
Joined: Wed Mar 14, 2012 1:23 pm

Re: Restarting the Program - Intro

Post by time4me » Tue Dec 17, 2019 9:58 pm

good wishes for you on this journey. looking at a situation with a new perspective of positive thoughts has helped me quite abit.
keep using the program it helps !!!!!!!!!!!!!

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