I'm Jenny

Tell us about yourself. We want to hear your story so we can all support and encourage you!
Post Reply
jenannlynn
Posts: 8
Joined: Tue Mar 06, 2018 5:13 pm

I'm Jenny

Post by jenannlynn » Wed Mar 07, 2018 3:30 pm

My name is Jenny. I believe I have always had a low-level of anxiety, & not realized it (I was just a high-strung, organized, perfectionist). My husband is a therapist, & he has always said I had OCD & anxiety, but I always got defensive & said I didn't, because the definition I pictured for OCD & anxiety was not me. (I don't have OCD "rituals", & I didn't think I was a worrier, & never had panic attacks).

At age 30, I had a stroke, which left me w/little movement, & with the inability to speak. Stroke changes people anyway, but now my anxiety & OCD became more pronounced, & I was wanting my therapist husband to do things for me, that helped me "hide" my anxiety/OCD-personality. (Between the stroke, & my mental illnesses, it is a MIRACLE my husband is still w/me 13 YEARS later!)

My husband has tried to educate me, but I wouldn't have it. It wasn't that I refused purposely, just I couldn't see it. Several times, I was aware that there were needed changes, but I just didn't "get it". When he threatened to divorce me the 1st time, I knew something had to change. I tried hypnosis, a course online, sought advice from religious authorities, tried guided meditation, read several self-help books, did chair yoga...Nothing.

My husband & I usually listen to audiobooks on long car rides (since I can't talk). He knew I was depressed last December, so when we went on a long car ride, while he claimed he had to read Dr. Burn's book "Feeling Good" for work, I think there's a reason he listened to it on a car ride! 😂 Anyway, I embraced his teachings--it really wasn't anything new, but the way he said stuff was more palatable--I wasn't a bad person. (My husband never said I was either, but this came across less offensive or something) I posted about my depression & his book on my website (www.jenannynn/org), & a dear friend (who has a blog for depression-suffers) told me about u, so here I am!

I am just barely finishing lesson 1. My husband asks if I have learned anything new. No, I have not, & I actually feel like I have gone backward, not forwards! BUT, as I read "Feeling Good", or had suggestions from my husband, I will think things like, "Oh! Good idea! I want to do that!"...But I don't do it! However, my OCD treats this different, since it is a "course", so I'm sticking to it for now...My motivation is to repair & better relationships w/my husband, & my oldest daughter, who says she hates me, & when she leaves for college in June, she plans to never return home (which puts even more syrain on the relationship with my husband!)

I do have 2 questions:
1 Lesson 1 suggests starting a book, & suggests 3--none of which are audiobooks. I can read, very slowly, ás I have double vision. I am still listening to "Feeling Good" though...does that count?
2. Can I email my coach? I am re-learning speech, but it is difficult t understand, & hard to do...Do I get like 1 email, so I better wait until
I can make it count?

Post Reply

Return to “New Forum Member Introduce Yourself HERE”