Ask Coach Chris

[coachchris]

This is an interesting article on essential oils and anxiety.

I really like lavender, the serenity blend and peppermint.

[coachchris]

THANK YOU CMHESS FOR THIS WONDERFUL TESTIMONY,

I completed this program about 3 years ago and wanted to share my success story with the members of this forum. Going through this program changed the course of my life. I had never realized that I had anxiety as bad as I did, until I went through the program and felt what it was like to not have anxiety. I believe I had anxiety from an early age and thought that was normal. It wasn't until I reached the age of 38 that I finally got to experience what it felt like to be anxiety free. The difference in the way my body and mind feel is difficult to put into words. It's a freeing feeling, where I control my anxiety, it no longer controls me.
Today, I experience anxiety at normal levels over issues that would be expected to be a bit anxiety provoking. The good news is that I have the tools I learned from the program to manage these situations. I figure a little anxiety every now and then is a good thing, as it allows me to continually put to use and practice all the skills learned in the program. CMHESS

[coachchris]

So I went to the dentist not just once, but THREE times in the last month. I'm 49 years old (approaching 50 is whole other post) and have always had an interesting relationship with the man in the green scrubs and his minions. To keep a long story short I have had a lot of orthodontic and jaw work done and historically would only visit 'that place' when the guilt would over-ride the anxiety. However, after going through the Combatting Stress and Depression Program program over 10 years ago I have learned a new truth about Dr.Dentist. He is actually quite nice and very good at what he does. I no longer stiffen up in the chair, hold my breath and survive the experience. Instead I tell myself I am safe. I choose to relax and be thankful my teeth will be whiter and healthier when I leave. I had to have a few other 'things' done today so I took some stress relief supplement that I like and went in knowing I am in control. It's so important for those of us who have had negative experiences with adrenalin to understand why it's there, what its doing physically and how we can manage it with truth and courage. I am proud of myself. Today was a good day. I was the strong woman I wanted to be. I was a truth teller and I stayed present moment. These are all positive tools each of us need every single day. Use them and you too will have great success.

I am always here to help.
Coach Chris

[NanaBJM]

Good for you sounds like you are using your skills effectively . I need to refresh mine . Thank you for posting your experience . Wonder why more people are not on here ? Hmmmmmmm?????

[O2bhappyagain]

I copied the items below from someone else's post and deleted a large portion of them. I've reached a point where I feel I've improved in some areas, such as not feeling out of control. My anxiety seems to primarily manifest as body aches and pains to the stomach and chest muscles. I've had an upper GI and doctor said no ulcers, it's just stress. Also had nuclear stress test and heart checked out fine. As much as I realize my situation, use positive self talk, I can't seem to shake the chest muscle tightness and stomach issues without often resorting to Ativan. I take 1/2 to 1mg some days and some days get by without any. My doctor monitors closely and I have to call in for refills. I see a psychologist who uses cognitive behavioral therapy and she says that if I'm only taking 1/2 to 1mg intermittently then I'm managing it well. I feel like my mood isn't fluctuating as much as it used to but I seldom have a great day(90% normal) any more. I just seem to stay in a narrower range of bland to ok days. I usually take an Ativan on Mondays and when I have prolonged meetings or classes. But I don't worry that I'll need more or have to leave. Social anxiety seems to be my biggest problem. I don't dread social situations, I like being around people, but as much as I think I enjoy social situations and look forward to interacting with others, my stomach and chest muscles fight against me, regardless of how positive I try to be.
I just finished lesson 12 audio and am looking forward to doing the lesson in the book and figuring out what i'm getting from my anxiety. Like some of those on the tape session, I don't know what I'm getting out of it other than pain and misery, which may be it? Do I feel I deserve to be miserable? I hope not. I've always been happy, calm, easy going and just wish I could get back to my old happy self. Any guidance or direction would be greatly appreciated. Thanks!

Chronic Fatigue
Neck, back, shoulder pain, tightness/stiffness
No energy, feeling lethargic, tired
Persistent muscle tension, stiffness
Sore neck
Startle easily
Chest pain or discomfort
Concern about the heart
Cry easily, but actually enjoy crying
Emotional blunting
Afraid of being trapped in a place with no exits
Constant feeling of being overwhelmed.
Fear of dying
Head
Dizziness or light-headedness
Head, neck or shoulder pain, tightness/stiffness
Shooting pains in the scalp or head
Mind
Frequent feeling of being overwhelmed, or that there is just too much to handle or do
Having difficulty concentrating
Underlying anxiety, apprehension, or fear
Mood
lack of patience
Depression
Feeling down in the dumps
Feeling like things are unreal or dreamlike
Sometimes being on edge or 'grouchy'
Have no feelings about things you used to
Underlying anxiety, apprehension, or fear
Frequent upset stomach, bloating, gaseous
abdominal stress
Difficulty falling or staying asleep
Insomnia, or waking up ill in the middle of the night
You feel worse in the mornings
Can't seem to get up on time
blurred vision
In addition to these symptoms, you may also find yourself worrying compulsively about:
• Having a heart attack
• Having a serious undetected illness
• Dying prematurely

[coachchris]

Hello and thank you for writing.
May I ask a little bit more of your story? When did the adrenalin kick in? Were there stresses that ignited the body symptoms and how old are you?

Also, you say you have always been happy and calm, would you say you are a positive thinker too?

When we still fearing the body symptoms there is sometimes an issue with control?

It took my body almost a year to calm down after 2 years of the perfect storm. I had to learn how
to accept the body symptoms (not fear them), continue using my positive self-management and be patient with the process of healing. You can be thinking and doing every right and the body still not feel great. Just like you stress out a knee or back, the body is slow to recover from anxiety. I would say if every week is a better week you are right on track!

Are you taking any other medication than the ativan? How are you doing with your relaxation exercise?
I look forward to your reply.
Coach Chris

[O2bhappyagain]

May I ask a little bit more of your story? When did the adrenalin kick in? I've been a firefighter for 30 years. Adrenalin rushes have been part of my life so its hard to tell. I was used to ignoring the adrenalin and functioning calm and collected in stressful situations. The anxiety started in my mid 40's and only happened at work when structure fires came in. It was that panicky feeling that's hard to describe with some claustrophobia mixed in but no body symptoms then. I could push through the anxiety attack and by the time I got on scene it would be over and I could function calmly in the highest stress situations.
Were there stresses that ignited the body symptoms and how old are you? I am 55 and have moved to a staff position and now its more social situations that cause the problems. The last couple of days I've done well through the morning but by late afternoon the symptoms start to show up and the drive home in traffic seems to make things worse. Tonight the pains have been mild. I have mild depression also and was prescribed a couple of meds but the sides effects were worse than the depression so I don't take them anymore.

Also, you say you have always been happy and calm, would you say you are a positive thinker too?
Yes, I think so. I usually recognize when I'm getting negative and give my self a positive pep talk and think about how well I have it. Great family, comfortable living, etc. There's been a lot of change in the fire service and with the city I work for over the last 20 years. There's been a lot of training and promotion of accepting change and adapting over the years, so being positive in most situations is something i'm usually good at.
When we still fearing the body symptoms there is sometimes an issue with control? Yes, meetings and other social work functions made me feel trapped. That has improved but I still think ahead and will sometimes pre-medicate if its an important meeting with outside people where I really have to interact and make decisions.

It took my body almost a year to calm down after 2 years of the perfect storm. I had to learn how
to accept the body symptoms (not fear them), continue using my positive self-management and be patient with the process of healing. You can be thinking and doing every right and the body still not feel great. Just like you stress out a knee or back, the body is slow to recover from anxiety. I would say if every week is a better week you are right on track! I have seen some improvement. Maybe I'm alittle impatient but if a year from now it's gone then I'd be great with that. I have some actual body aches (knee, neck, shoulders) that cause some additional stress.

Are you taking any other medication than the ativan? How are you doing with your relaxation exercise? No, just Ativan. I'll drink a glass of wine in the evening sometimes to avoid the Ativan but I hate relying on that for comfort. I'm still listening to the relaxation session but not as much as I should. I don't work out as much as I should but try to when I can. I've been getting massages about 2 times a month. That helps with some of the symptoms. The masseuse said my shoulder muscles were so tense/tight that I may have scar tissue in them. She recommended acupuncture for additional help. Thanks for replying. Getting to write this down helps.

[coachchris]

Thank you for your reply. Wow, a firefighter for 30 years! That's amazing.
I can really hear your commitment to feeling better and moving forward with a positive attitude.
I would continue to focus on relaxation, healthy food choices and exercise.
Massage sounds perfect and acupuncture could be beneficial as well.

As far as the body aches go some of it could be age related and accepting that is another part of our story. Do you have a fear of dying or are you concerned more about the adrenaline/anxiety?

You said you got transferred to a staff position, did all of this anxiety start when the transfer happened? Change is hard for all of us. We so want to be in control of everything and we overthink A LOT!

Again, I look forward to your reply.
I would be happy to have a free coaching call with you if you would like to speak over the phone.
Coach Chris

[O2bhappyagain]

As far as the body aches go some of it could be age related and accepting that is another part of our story. That is true. I have issues with slightly bulging disks in my neck. It causes some pain, dizziness. I probably need to see an ophthalmologist as I'm also having some visual focus problems. Sometimes it's hard to tell which problems are truly physical and which are anxiety induced.

Do you have a fear of dying or are you concerned more about the adrenaline/anxiety?
My fear of dying has subsided quit a bit. When to stomach and chest muscle pains are strong, I still get the occasional fear of having a heart attack. I've gotten pretty good at calming those thoughts quickly, but they still resurface from time to time.

You said you got transferred to a staff position, did all of this anxiety start when the transfer happened? Change is hard for all of us. We so want to be in control of everything and we overthink A LOT!
I actually took the position thinking that it would help with the anxiety. I would be more in charge of my time and work. It did help in some ways but I still had that strange sinking feeling, fear of losing control, etc. in social situations. I developed severe stomach pains, which the Dr. diagnosed as stress. Much of the problem was self induced by my inability to not bring my work home with me, say no to people, and overload myself with more work than I could do. All of this has improved. My boss has been supportive in telling me I should do what I can do and don't take on anything extra. I feel like I'm on a plateau now that's better than it was 2 years ago but I think I've just gotten impatient because I'm not making progress as quickly as I'd like. This week was good in some ways. I didn't take any Ativan from Saturday thru Tuesday. Tonight my stomach has been worse that usual but has calmed down alittle. I think this forum has given me some hopeful perspective and I've been clinging to your comment about it taking a year for you to get past some of your body ache issues. I'll take the hope of being much better in a year over no hope at all any day. I really appreciate your help.

[coachchris]

Happy to help! Glad you're doing better. Lowering expectations and setting realistic goals is very important for healthy self-management. I noticed the more I said hurry,hurry, hurry the worse I felt. Under-reacting to EVERYTHING and learning to live at a slower pace is vital for most of us.

If you would like to schedule a free coaching call and speak over the phone I would be happy to set that up.

Coach Chris