I'm looking for some assistance. I have gone through the Program three times in the past and now am starting it again. I am also seeing a Psychologist (Friday will be my fourth visit). I am divorced and have three children. My oldest (my daughter) lives 5 minutes away from me. She has a lot of trouble with anxiety and depression. My oldest son left for Afghanistan on June 30. I took my youngest son to college 815 miles away last week. I am now experiencing the empty-nest syndrome. I have my dog here with me, but that's about it. Also, as of two weeks ago, I am without my full-time job. I resigned my position as a supervisor and wanted to step back into a lower position or into another building. I was informed that there was no position available for me so I could pack my things and go home. Not what I had in mind.
So, I came home from Cleveland to an empty house and no regular job. Luckily, I have a business in my home, so I have some money coming in, but it's not the same as a full-time job with benefits--and being out with other people. My life, for the last week, has been kind of like a surreal kind of existence. It's very strange.
By the way, at the college, during Parent Orientation, we were told to "go home and do a happy dance." I will do this eventually, but I'm not at that point just yet.
So, because of all of this, I have started the Program again. I hope that it will help. If anyone has any suggestions, please let me know.
Thanks for reading this.
Empty nest and more.
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Guest
Just by reading your post it seems that you know perfectly well why you'd be having a rough patch right now. You've got a lot of change and unsettling things going on. Anyone would be uneasy.
Good for you that you know it's time to do the program again. I wish you the best.
Be gentle with yourself as you go through this transition knowing that there's more good in store for you just around the corner.
Good for you that you know it's time to do the program again. I wish you the best.
Be gentle with yourself as you go through this transition knowing that there's more good in store for you just around the corner.
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Guest
Thanks for the response. I'm not exactly feeling alone, but I am a little bit lonesome. I appreciate your words and thoughts. It's a difficult time and I'm trying to hang in there. Sometimes I start sliding down the hill, though, and I need to get back up. Your response was a bit of a boost for me. Thanks again.
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Guest
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Guest
Hi drg,
I went through the empty nester unsettled feeling a couple years ago. Our youngest son left for basic training 2 days after graduating from high school. He came back 10 days before starting college, so we had a very short summer with him. Then the next summer he did his AIT so we had about three weeks with him that summer. I was unprepared for all the spare time I would have, even with working full time. During this time we went back and forth with our oldest son moving in and out and back in, so we had some time with a "kid" in the house, but more often than not, the house was empty. After this past summer with both boys back home, a couple of weeks ago our youngest son returned to college, and our oldest son left home, all in the same week. The first week was strange, the second was busy, and tonight I was hoping on hope for a night to myself! What did I do? I called our oldest son and left a voicemail, took the dog for a walk, met some friends on the trail and talked with them the whole walk, then stopped off to talk with the neighbors, and then took a whole bunch of text messages from one of our oldest son's ex-girlfriends who we still stay in touch with and ended up talking with her on the phone. So much for empty nester feelings;) I chose all of those activities:) And tomorrow night I have plans with a friend from work who just moved and needs help. And Wed will probably present new opportunities, too ... I agree with Kristen. Go for the WOO HOO factor:) Look on the positive side! Grab life by the horns!
Darb
I went through the empty nester unsettled feeling a couple years ago. Our youngest son left for basic training 2 days after graduating from high school. He came back 10 days before starting college, so we had a very short summer with him. Then the next summer he did his AIT so we had about three weeks with him that summer. I was unprepared for all the spare time I would have, even with working full time. During this time we went back and forth with our oldest son moving in and out and back in, so we had some time with a "kid" in the house, but more often than not, the house was empty. After this past summer with both boys back home, a couple of weeks ago our youngest son returned to college, and our oldest son left home, all in the same week. The first week was strange, the second was busy, and tonight I was hoping on hope for a night to myself! What did I do? I called our oldest son and left a voicemail, took the dog for a walk, met some friends on the trail and talked with them the whole walk, then stopped off to talk with the neighbors, and then took a whole bunch of text messages from one of our oldest son's ex-girlfriends who we still stay in touch with and ended up talking with her on the phone. So much for empty nester feelings;) I chose all of those activities:) And tomorrow night I have plans with a friend from work who just moved and needs help. And Wed will probably present new opportunities, too ... I agree with Kristen. Go for the WOO HOO factor:) Look on the positive side! Grab life by the horns!
Darb
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Guest
Hi! I'm getting closer to that HAPPY DANCE that the Case Western Reserve people kept telling us parents to do. I started a new full-time job at a Catholic nursing home on Tuesday, plus I'm still doing my sewing. It has kind of worked out the way you said: taking a walk and talking with neighbors, the phone ringing a lot, stuff at church and other things to keep me busy. So, it's getting better. It was a little hard today because it's my youngest son's birthday and he's not here. But, it's okay. I haven't heard from my son in Afghanistan for almost two weeks. But, I pray for his safety and know that he's close in my heart. My daughter lives close by and I see her a lot more often now, so that helps. I'm also repeating the Program and seeing a Psychologist. So, things are improving.
Thanks for your message. Take care.
Debbie
Thanks for your message. Take care.
Debbie