I'M OFF MY MEDICATION!!!...now what?

Don't let a setback discourage you, face the challenge and come out stronger for it. Celebrate your successes and be open to all of new opportunities that are about to come into your life.
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doogiet
Posts: 51
Joined: Sun Nov 28, 2004 2:00 am

Post by doogiet » Sun Jun 07, 2009 7:28 pm

I started having panic attacks when I was 16 or so and now I'm 34. I've been on medication for a decade and a half and have consumed roughly 15,000 Prozac tablets.

That all came to an end last week as I finished the program. I'm no longer anxious, perfectionistic and unrealistic about life. I still obsess from time to time, though.

My problem is this: being "anxious-free" and off the Prozac (which made me so, so tired) has been a goal of mine for over half my life. I've had a job (but mainly in the house). I've spent a lot of my savings, but I'm somewhat comfortable for now.

So what do I do now? It's like I've finally reached the peak of Everest and don't know what to do. I thought in the past that if I ever got to where I am, the world would open up for me (and it has, to a large extent). But to another extent, I guess I was expecting fireworks. Instead it's more of a Christmas cracker.

Because I've been anxious for so long, I've watched all of my friends pass me on the road of life. They have careers, children, husbands, wives, etc. I don't want to say I have nothing, but it seems that I'm so far behind. I've tried getting various jobs outside of the house, but no one wants to hire me (despite two degrees that I earned while panicking). I don't want to rush off and get married and start a family because I feel like I finally can be myself around girls, but even that's a non-starter because I have a girlfriend that's helped me through this for so long.

I'm not sure what to do with my life now. It's like I'm 18 and just graduated high school, only I'm 34. I have no real commitments (besides the girlfriend). My parents would be supportive of me if I went to see the world (something I've always wanted to do), but my girlfriend probably wouldn't be too happy. I suppose I could break up with her, but that seems like a horrible thing to do after she's put up with the anxious me for so long. On the other hand, there is that line "If you love somebody, set them free. If they come back..." etc.

Can anyone relate to this? I think this is sort of why people who serve their terms in prison commit petty crimes to get thrown back in. They don't know how to do deal with life on "the outside." I'm finally outside and the sun is shining and the birds are chirping, but I have no idea what to do...

Still, that's better than being locked in my cell. :)

Guest

Post by Guest » Mon Jun 08, 2009 6:20 am

doogiet,

I'm hearing alot of anticipatory statements here. Be careful or you could bring on more anxiety because you are expecting to have some difinitive answers right away. It will take time.

When I was building my first piece of furniture, I nearly drove myself crazy looking at all the pieces and instructions. I kept getting ahead of myself with mental lists of what needed to be done and how. I finally called my Dad and he told me "Just do what needs to be done next. When you are done with that, then do the next thing. In no time you'll be done." It was such simple advice, but it worked. I've applied that to the program and life because it works.

Just do one thing at a time and you will find your way. Remember to take it slowly. Keep applying the principles. Keep soul-searching. Keep making your priority lists. Keep setting goals and being assertive. Those things will lead you to discovering your purpose and passion. Once you discover those you'll be well on your way.

Stop comparing your path to discovery with others around you. You are unique. You are here now because this is where you are supposed to be; not sooner, but now.

Peace and Best Wishes!

Guest

Post by Guest » Wed Jun 10, 2009 4:30 am

I think a lot of us have gotten to this point of "Now what?" We were so used to functioning a certain way and seeing ourselves in a certain way that the "new you" becomes confusing. We are in essence creating a new person and along with it comes new behaviors and new ways of thinking. The old image of our previous self dies hard. Here's where any and all creativity and acceptance can emerge. I believe that if you keep your "sun shining" and keep hearing the "birds chirping" your direction will follow, if you let it. It's a confusing period of time, but out of this confusion will come clarity if you refuse to go back to your old comfort zone and keep moving forward. Finding a good therapist who can help with focus and direction at this point could be beneficial.

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