Just need a little positive encouragement
Posted: Sun Oct 09, 2011 9:01 pm
Hi all-
I know my subject says that I need some positive encouragement, but before I get to that part, I just wanted to say that I truly feel I have finally become one of the success stories that this program creates. For the past couple of months, I have been living in the present moment which is feeling I hadn't had in so long that I forgot what it felt like. It's amazing. I have become so much more positive. Little things that used to be such a 'big deal' aren't any more. There is so much more I am able to do - I have actually started LIVING again. Not just getting through each day. My positive thoughts have enabled me to finally get a really great job. Where before, my negative thoughts would not have allowed that to happen. Life started happening. I got to experience LIVING again.
But here comes the reason why I am posting this in the Session 15 - Getting Beyond a Growth Spurt forum. I have been working at this new place for about 2 months now. The first 6 weeks or so were GREAT. I had a great attitude, the 'I can do it' attitude. I was focused, positive, and feeling like I was just a sponge absorbing everything. I was doing very well in my first few weeks of training.
But over the last 2-3 weeks, I've been noticing that I've started to slip back into some of those old feelings that had been gone for so many months. I started being overly concerned with what one of the girls I work with thinks of me. I've noticed that I'm falling back into the people pleasing behavior again. Wanting her to like/accept me, feeling like maybe she doesn't like me, wondering what she thinks. Ugh, I was doing SO WELL with not doing that any more.
I was doing GREAT with the beginnings of what they were training me with too. I had a great teacher. Then when I moved over to the department I will actually be working in, and they started training me on all of that, it was like an information overload in such a short period of time. I was doing really well still, but the feeling of overwhelm started creeping in.
Then I started struggling with being tired constantly. I've never had a desk job before, and sitting all day is a lot harder to get used to than you'd think. I never even thought of that as being an issue.
So I've been really tired all day, which makes it hard to focus, which makes it hard to absorb all this new information I need to learn. I started to feel like I was starting to drown a bit. The other girl who I already knew before working there tells me I'm doing fine, and it is very overwhelming, and it's normal to feel that way. But all these negative thoughts started bombarding my mind again, and her reassurance isn't having as good of an affect on my feelings. I'm starting to see the 'self-sabotage' Lucinda talks about.
So now I'm starting to have anxiety about this job. After it being gone for so long! And after going in to this new job with the strong 'I can do it' attitude and excitement.
I know that I am mentally capable of learning everything and excelling in the position. I just want to get past this growth spurt and get back to feeling confident with myself and my ability to succeed. I got my little spiral notebook out again to replace my negative thoughts. It's only been a few days since I did that, so I'm still having the anxiety symptoms and negative thoughts questioning my ability to do this job as well as I think/thought I can/could.
I don't know.....I was just looking for some encouragement to help me get back on track with feeling good and confident.
Thanks
I know my subject says that I need some positive encouragement, but before I get to that part, I just wanted to say that I truly feel I have finally become one of the success stories that this program creates. For the past couple of months, I have been living in the present moment which is feeling I hadn't had in so long that I forgot what it felt like. It's amazing. I have become so much more positive. Little things that used to be such a 'big deal' aren't any more. There is so much more I am able to do - I have actually started LIVING again. Not just getting through each day. My positive thoughts have enabled me to finally get a really great job. Where before, my negative thoughts would not have allowed that to happen. Life started happening. I got to experience LIVING again.
But here comes the reason why I am posting this in the Session 15 - Getting Beyond a Growth Spurt forum. I have been working at this new place for about 2 months now. The first 6 weeks or so were GREAT. I had a great attitude, the 'I can do it' attitude. I was focused, positive, and feeling like I was just a sponge absorbing everything. I was doing very well in my first few weeks of training.
But over the last 2-3 weeks, I've been noticing that I've started to slip back into some of those old feelings that had been gone for so many months. I started being overly concerned with what one of the girls I work with thinks of me. I've noticed that I'm falling back into the people pleasing behavior again. Wanting her to like/accept me, feeling like maybe she doesn't like me, wondering what she thinks. Ugh, I was doing SO WELL with not doing that any more.
I was doing GREAT with the beginnings of what they were training me with too. I had a great teacher. Then when I moved over to the department I will actually be working in, and they started training me on all of that, it was like an information overload in such a short period of time. I was doing really well still, but the feeling of overwhelm started creeping in.
Then I started struggling with being tired constantly. I've never had a desk job before, and sitting all day is a lot harder to get used to than you'd think. I never even thought of that as being an issue.
So I've been really tired all day, which makes it hard to focus, which makes it hard to absorb all this new information I need to learn. I started to feel like I was starting to drown a bit. The other girl who I already knew before working there tells me I'm doing fine, and it is very overwhelming, and it's normal to feel that way. But all these negative thoughts started bombarding my mind again, and her reassurance isn't having as good of an affect on my feelings. I'm starting to see the 'self-sabotage' Lucinda talks about.
So now I'm starting to have anxiety about this job. After it being gone for so long! And after going in to this new job with the strong 'I can do it' attitude and excitement.
I know that I am mentally capable of learning everything and excelling in the position. I just want to get past this growth spurt and get back to feeling confident with myself and my ability to succeed. I got my little spiral notebook out again to replace my negative thoughts. It's only been a few days since I did that, so I'm still having the anxiety symptoms and negative thoughts questioning my ability to do this job as well as I think/thought I can/could.
I don't know.....I was just looking for some encouragement to help me get back on track with feeling good and confident.
Thanks