Friends on the healing path

Don't let a setback discourage you, face the challenge and come out stronger for it. Celebrate your successes and be open to all of new opportunities that are about to come into your life.
Guest

Post by Guest » Fri Sep 18, 2009 2:06 am

Morning Barb, Hope today finds you feeling a little more peace. Here's something to remember...when we go through stressful times our body naturally has a stress response that feels like anxiety sometimes, and that's NORMAL! Try to just accept that....it is really helpful for me when I tell myself that I am having a physical response to whatever it is going on for me, and that it is normal....all of my friends and my partner does too...it's just that they accept it and do not build on it like we can. As soon as you feel the physical symptons remind and assure yourself that this is normal, it won't hurt you and it does not have top be scary. When you go to dinner, just breathe....do the deep breaths and focus on that...and do not worry about feeling panicky, you are working your way through this....give yourself credit and a huge pat on the back...you will be ok. Here's a good phrase: God does'nt make junk, and He made you...you are wonderful in God's eyes...so try and be wonderful in your own too :) God Bless Jbug

Guest

Post by Guest » Fri Sep 18, 2009 4:38 am

Junebug, I can tell you're going to be a great friend. You're an encourager. The world needs more encouragers. I already got good news this morning from my friend with the cancer in her breast. They got it all out, however, they say she should have radiation. She and her husband decided not to. It's 10% it will come back w/radiation and 30% without. They're believing the Lord it won't come back otherwise it's time for her to go home anyway. She said when they shoot radiation it's like a shot gun where it splatters and can hit other places. She's told me not to pray any more (she knows how burdened I become for people) esp. my daughter/son-in-law. My friend said just keep thanking God. So I've been thanking him for my kids and that my son-in-law will make the effort to go to counseling. Thanking God that the cancer is gone for my friend (he answered already!) GOD IS GOOD ALL THE TIME and His word says "ALL things work together for good " not some.

My biggest thing is to get control of my thoughts. Whenever a worry comes, if I'll just learn to thank him, hopefully I'll get the victory!

Guest

Post by Guest » Mon Sep 21, 2009 2:16 am

Morning Barb, Glad you have had some good news :p God IS good...all the time, even when we do not understand what is going on in life. I really believe that. I have been blessed with soooo many affirmations in my life, at the most difficult and the best of times. I too am working on the "controlling my thoughts" part of this process. I have gone back to lesson 1 in order to dig a little deeper at the causes of my anxiety issues. For me, it is biochemical only in that the systems in my body work at a very high rate...I am a type A person. However, I also realize that that is a really good thing when used in productive ways. I am accepting that, and it is helpful. The part that is hard that I have realized is that my negative thoughts have become almost reflexive, in that I have talked and reinforced negative messages to myself for sooo long that it is really kind of hard to break that cycle. But, so far, I have been having really great success. I am focusing more then ever on catching my negative thoughts/beliefs by now, and restructuring them. It is hard, but I believe that is at the heart of my healing. I believe that as I continue to unravel all of the negative messages I absorbed as a child and continue to reinforce to myself, my healing will be complete. So, it's a sunny Monday morning here in Jersey...I hope it will be a beautiful sunny day for you as well. Also) How did the dinner with your son-in-law go? June

Guest

Post by Guest » Mon Sep 21, 2009 1:29 pm

hey there junebug,

The dinner went really well even tho we had to wait and had our names in. I was getting really hungry but the neat thing was the manager of Red Lobster came over and offered us 2 appeitzers while we waited on her. We couldn't make up our minds so she paid for 3 and then I had all you can eat shrimp!!! OMG, it was SO good. As far as our son-in-law, what can I say. He's a whimp. He tells people what they want to hear and you never know where he really stands I don't think he does and that's the problem now in their marriage. They both love each other very much but there's still some MAJOR issues. I just have to pray (my friend said don't even do that cuz even that upsets me). It's their life. They're not turning to us for advice so unasked for advice is definitely not what they want. It's so hard being a parent and wanting what's best for our kids. Do we really know what's best? Only God knows and the hard part is leaving it in his hands. We have our house for sale and I'm constantly reasoning about everything. When we keep trying to figure things out it's more like we don't need God. I DO need God so I MUST learn to WAIT ON THE LORD. Dear God help me to be able to do just that.

SeaRunner
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Joined: Wed Jul 08, 2009 1:06 am

Post by SeaRunner » Tue Sep 22, 2009 4:18 am

Heh Barb, Glad the dinner went well (-: Here's a thought...while you are waiting on God you might as well see things, think things and visualize things though a positive lens...seeing them having a positive outcome. I have read in one of my lessons that "we draw positive things to us" when we keep our energy and thoughts on a positive level....try that and see if it works...and of course let go...and let God. At the minimum, by thinking and visualizing things in a positive light, you will at least not worry and will then feel better. I think this works....I have been putting that into action since last spring, and some really great things have happened for me.

Now, I have something that I have been struggling with a bit that I'd like to run by you....I have a friend that lives in Arizona. I have known her for 30 years. We used to travel together and spend a lot of time doing things. We are like sisters. About 15 years ago she got married, and she and her husband now live in AZ. They have invited me year after year to go out for a visit and play golf with them. Because of my old social anxiety issues I put it off, and put it off...to the point where she recently expressed to me that her feelings are hurt that I have not come for a visit in all the years they have lived there. The truth is...they belong to a country club and I know that I will have to do a lot of socializing while there. I am working my program on such a deeper level now, that I know I can do this. I have opened up to family and some friends about the true depth of my anxiety struggles...and it has really helped me alot. I really believe that I will own these new skills and new beliefs. For so long I coped either the wrong way, or half- hearted way because of persistent fear. I know my life is different now...but I am still resisting making the reservations....I have to do this as I have committed to going....is it habit? Residual fear? Any thoughts? Thanks, June
"Common things occur commonly. Uncommon things don't. Therefore, when you hear hoofbeats, think horses, not zebras." -- C.J. Peters

Guest

Post by Guest » Wed Sep 23, 2009 11:41 am

Yes I do think it's a habit. Just as my stupid worrying and procrastination that I've done all day is. I'm sick of it but yet I don't change. It is the 2 steps forward and 3 back. Sometimes it seems like its all steps backward.

You are on track to turn those thoughts to positive. Like today when my daughter mentioned us getting a family photo but she just doesn't know what to do about their situation. I thought go figure...they're split up and she's talking family photo? We just had a family photo in May at our son's wedding. i know it's not the same but come on, we all just spent money. So yes try to be positive..a part of me thinks she wants this photo because she does love him. I know they love each other v. much and our best friends but there's other issues that are very hard to deal with. He won't go for counseling probably out of embarrassment and she sees no point in going herself. Well, I had much to do today but wasn't getting much done. I never did get to town for errands. I still need to return a movie but everything else is closed. I've wasted the day.

As far as you going to AZ by your friend, make it a PRIORITY. I've been wanting to go see my friend in AZ for some time also. We didn't do a winter vacation because of our son's wedding. I told my husband I really want to go by her. Her mom died 2 yrs. of cancer and now her husband's probably dying. I too want to be there for my friend. We'll pray for each other that this would work out. Where in AZ? My friend is in Phoenix and we'll probably go there mid or end of February. Together we can beat this!!

Guest

Post by Guest » Wed Sep 23, 2009 12:21 pm

Heh Barb, if you ever just want to email directly my email address is jvandriel@livingston.org. My friend lives outside of Scottsdale. Every day I go online to check the price of flights and they are reasonable! I just can't make myself buy it yet :eek: lol...seriously, I have to get past this. I have been mostly having good days lately, but some days I still feel panicky when i am about to teach my class. What has been helping me a lot is telling myself that teaching, no matter how many years I have been doing it (17)....is like presenting...and when you care about what you present, which I do, then you WILL have anxiety...it is normal. That really helps to allow myself the anxiety...in the past I never did. Anyway, I hope you get some chores done this afternoon...have a great evening :roll:

Guest

Post by Guest » Wed Sep 23, 2009 1:14 pm

Thanks for the address. I will use it. Say, what are the prices of the flights? you can e-mail that if you want to barbgavon@yahoo.com
I actually did get some orders for my business so that was good. Now I gotta do online ordering yet tonite and get to town to return a movie. I watched it twice I liked it so much. It's called "Shadow Heart". Although there's killing in it. It teaches you so much about forgiveness. There's no swearing but killing and somewhat sad but the lessons are super. A great faith builder. Gotta go.

Guest

Post by Guest » Sat Jul 24, 2010 11:55 am

;) Hi Every one
I am healing through this program. I am on lesson 15 and I feel good about my self. I just started .I have learned so much and I have been so much better at work than I was back in April of this year . I have learned from the relaxation tape all these months. I will be going through the program later this year. talk to yall soon.

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