Help! My boyfriend's father has pancreatic cancer and I am exhausted...

fightback76 · Post by **fightback76** » Sat Aug 30, 2008 4:58 pm

How do you deal with when your loved one is overwhelmed with caring for their loved one???

I think for a week straight I managed to put my fears and insecurities aside and ignore my own needs, but as this difficult time continues, I am really moody and feel the need to isolate myself to cry and feel sorry for me.

How do I support him and his Mom and Dad as they are all struggling? He wants me at his side but has gone from being the most attentive person to being consumed with the needs of his father.

I have also had to rearrange my work schedule so I could go to his place of work (also my 2nd job) and take over his roles as well as my own.
So I feel I am working 5 jobs suddenly - my regular jobs (1 and 2) plus non stop caregiver and his job...

I know this sounds selfish, but I can't support 24/7 him and his family and my job and his job

How do I cope? How do I support everyone who is breaking down and stay in one piece?

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Sat Aug 30, 2008 5:13 pm

Sorry to hear about all of your stresses. My thoughts and prayers are with you all. However, remember this is his father, and with pancreatic CA, the time is usually short. Just do your best to be there for them, but don't neglect yourself. It is a very tough time for all of you...doing the best that YOU can is all that can be expected.

Take care...

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Sat Aug 30, 2008 6:50 pm

Fight back,

You cope by making sure you are taking care of yourself first. Without you being strong, it is difficult to help.

I understand your passion, but make sure you are your own best friend. Take care of your needs first and then it gets easier. You can only give so much. I believe in the Law of Reciprocity, it will no doubt come back to you, but maybe not at this moment. Keep the faith and remember to be selfish.

Peter