Empowering Group Program Run-through - Lesson 14

Stress can keep you down. Stress can also help you create. Learn to make stress a positive force in your life.
forever young 06
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Joined: Sun Jun 25, 2006 5:19 pm

Re: Empowering Group Program Run-through - Lesson 14

Post by forever young 06 » Mon Feb 24, 2014 5:09 am

Mike so glad to see you back. I have fallen really behind I haven't done lesson 13. I had already gotten behind and now with baby sitting for the last 2 wks. I am going to try to get to 13 today. I too am not doing the relaxtion cd or my journaling. my schedule has got scrambled and I am trying to fall back to my old ways. I am resisting the change. some how I need to find a happy medium.

Bradley you made some good points. I need to look into them. I think fear of change keeps us stuck with the old familiar even if not good. I have a lot of soul searching to do.

THH
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Re: Empowering Group Program Run-through - Lesson 14

Post by THH » Mon Feb 24, 2014 10:33 am

I watched a TV sermon this weekend that was great. Basically it was about saying "all is well". That statement reminds me that I am expecting good things to happen. Even when you don't feel it. It is a empowering statement that seams simple such as Kens " thoughts only thoughts". All is well, keeps me from thinking on the negative path. It brightens up the positive possibility's. A positive and negative thought can not exist at the same time. I liked it!
We are learning new thoughts and how to help our selves change. Again it is a way of life for us anxiety people. The better we practice and stay in the positive light the better we feel. And go forward with optimism. For me, I get to feeling it and rolling with it and I must get lazy in my thoughts because the old way of thinking sets in and I get to feeling like a looser because I'm stuck again. This is where I have to grow and know that expectations are off the hook when I expect to never have anxiety or panic again.

bradley1960:
Change does bring good things! Courage to accept that statement is also empowering. I liked your Plan, Do and check & adjust way. This is a great way to simply think it through. Keeping it simple is much better for me. I will give this a try.

Mike: So glad your feeling better! :D It is not the same when you are gone. I think each of us is important and we are all on different journeys but the input each bring to the post is great. The support is always wonderful and the different insights are welcome.

Forever Young:
Congratulations!!! Like Mike said it really is a BIG deal that you have come as far as you ever came through the program. It takes commitment to your self and even though you may not always feel you keep up you are moving forward! I think all of us could say that we could do better in this area or that but we have a grasp of why we feel like we do and what areas in our lives need attention and change. :D :D :D Great Job girl!!!

forever young 06
Posts: 284
Joined: Sun Jun 25, 2006 5:19 pm

Re: Empowering Group Program Run-through - Lesson 14

Post by forever young 06 » Wed Feb 26, 2014 11:05 am

Mike where are you? this board is not the same you have so much better in put then we do. I have a problem finding the words to say what I want to. I listened to lesson 13 but not read the book. I have not been feeling well. I am fighting another round of health anxiety. I have been having upper back pain and goes into my neck. I wish I would get over thinking it is not good.

THH I cancelled my old health insurance today. I feel nervous I have called the new insurance two days in a row asking them if the insurance was active. I have my insurance cards. I will feel better when I have used it and it has paid. I have a lot cheaper deductible and it cost less. I have cancelled for march and they said I could like call back and reinstate it if I needed to by the last of march. I know they think I am crazy but I have to be sure I am covered. come on people post on this and where is coachchris ?

Ninjafrodo2
Posts: 234
Joined: Sat Oct 19, 2013 11:05 am

Re: Empowering Group Program Run-through - Lesson 14

Post by Ninjafrodo2 » Wed Feb 26, 2014 8:04 pm

Hey guys. So i've been working more with the time management stuff (I've been trying to catch up) and today started to schedule my time in 30minute intervals and it seems to be challenging. I find that I'm still overdoing things, it has been easy to schedule a 15 hour day...I still need to do some tweeking with it but it feels much better than how it was before and i'm getting more stuff done that I have been putting off. The time management stuff also helps to counter thoughts of "this is going to take forever." There have been many activities where I'd just start and get obsessive and then do it for the entire day because I felt like I needed to get it done...like now or yesterday. Well now I am setting limits like 1.5hours for one of my projects and it works really well and I feel more comfortable with time and accomplished at the end of the day. I even cleaned the fridge for an hour and a half whereas before I'd get so annoyed at the idea of it and think that it'll take forever...I'm in control of that now.

I've also decided to work on managing my money as well. I wrote out a rough budget for March but am still tweeking that...Time has been a huge problem for me and a cause for lots of anxiety and facing that feels good and Money is another huge problem so I'm hoping that this budget will help to reduce alot of that unnecessary stress and anxiety.

I read what you wrote THH about the sermin and how he said all is well...its funny because it is very similar to what I have found...I guess we all have our own ways.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=47dtFZ8CFo8
This is what I found and when I watch this video (and I do this on a daily basis), I am focusing on feeling safe and secure and thinking we're safe and sound and it really makes me feel better. I'm hoping to cultivate this feeling of security the same way I've been cultivating the feelings of love towards myself for the last 6 months. Its still really new (about a week or 2), but I am feeling good about it.

I've listened to lesson 14 and did a bit of the workbook stuff. I'll talk about the workbook stuff tomorrow but anyways it is a really great lesson, this one and I know it to be true. When my computer gets slow and when something doesn't work right, I can immediately complain about it and make a big deal and say "Why isn't this working" (usually with more of a vulgar tone) and immediately I get heart palpitations, my head feels hot, my breathing becomes more shallow, my chest feels heavy, I feel angry, frustrated and irritable and I accomplish nothing. The computer has not once said to me, "I see that you're upset, I will fix this right away so you feel better." It just continues to not work the way I want it to. But when I see the situation isn't working and I accept that it isn't working and go do something else while I restart it then I notice that my heart is not thumping, I don't go through that sudden heat wave and I'm not as irritable and frustrated (although don't get me wrong, i'm still feeling frustrated and irritable). Just something I wanted to put out there.

Oh and one last thing...THH said this and I thought I'd respond to it.
We are learning new thoughts and how to help our selves change. Again it is a way of life for us anxiety people. The better we practice and stay in the positive light the better we feel. And go forward with optimism. For me, I get to feeling it and rolling with it and I must get lazy in my thoughts because the old way of thinking sets in and I get to feeling like a looser because I'm stuck again. This is where I have to grow and know that expectations are off the hook when I expect to never have anxiety or panic again.

Yeah I definately agree with practicing to stay in the positive light will make us feel better and sometimes it can be difficult especially when life happens (and it does), but its by doing the little positive things on a daily basis that helps make big changes. We don't have to wait until something stresses us out or makes us feel negative before we use the positive self-talk and the calming techniques and anything else that we can use to make ourselves feel good, we can use them when we are feeling good, in order to help us to feel even better :).


Mike

Ninjafrodo2
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Re: Empowering Group Program Run-through - Lesson 14

Post by Ninjafrodo2 » Thu Feb 27, 2014 6:27 pm

Its interesting in that when I overload my day, eventually what happens is I end up not wanting to do anything...today is one of those days. I over scheduled myself and now in order to prevent myself from overwhelming myself, I feel highly resistant from wanting to do anything. I've decided instead of stressing myself out over not being productive today, that I'll just relax as much as I can and take care myself.


Mike

THH
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Re: Empowering Group Program Run-through - Lesson 14

Post by THH » Thu Feb 27, 2014 8:23 pm

Keeping stress from becoming anxiety is defiantly a management of thoughts. Life does just keep on going and things happen. Lots of food for thought after going though 14 sessions of this program.
I am using my mind to help me, in a controlled way, navigate through many, to me stress events. I have dealt with family, weather & a sick dog, who is doing better today :)
I wonder how many of you may feel like me, at this point where I understand why I like to be by myself?! It seams like some days everyone you talk to have so much negative things to say, mostly family in this case. I can't cheer everyone one up, or be the one to point out different ways to view something. Or explain the way you feel after being prodded or prompted you reveal a opinion or your thoughts only to get challenged by guilt or anger. It seams like there are days where people just want to test what your made of.

I feel well, but I do feel like being home and not talking to anyone! I guess I question my social skills. Maybe I have a problem with that. I feel like when in a business setting you be all business like and stick to that. When your in a family setting it is more lax and maybe just be yourself. Now that I am experiencing knowing some things about myself and setting myself up not to be stressed, it is not the same. Some people want to see you stressed as them, and when it don't happen they leave. I guess you don't have anything in common with them. Its weird. It does tend to make me feel alone, which is alright too. Maybe it was just this day? Oh well "all is well" LOL...

Mike: Yes your video was the same feeling. I think it gives one a direction in which to feel, or start feeling. If you can just get going in the right direction usually it is a little easier to get yourself over the hump. There are days I wake up with thoughts that are what ifing, worry, anticipation. If I can distract or break up those thoughts and think of gratitude, or things to look forward to I don't sabotage the day.
I have done better with not overloading my day and have not been challenged there for awhile. ( now watch I will ) LOL... But good for you on seeing how quickly a day can fill up.
I too can get very frustrated when trying to do things on the TV, Computer, phone, what ever it is and I can feel my anger at it fly. I try to laugh at my self, sometimes it helps. Other times I just have to work though it and breathe. Calm down and take my time and read... I try to go to fast because my mind is faster and I forget important steps, or don't read each word or what ever. Slowing down is the most helpful. :)
I also agree that doing even the smallest of steps will make ourselves feel good. And I can honestly say I have done this and have had great results.

Forever Young:
How are you feeling? Hope your getting better. I have not got my welcome packet yet. No cards either. Mine starts April 1 so there is time. I know how you feel, your a little ahead of me. Let me know when yours gets all together. I put in for a cancellation April 1 so hopefully it goes smooooooth! :) Yea where is Coach Chris????

Ninjafrodo2
Posts: 234
Joined: Sat Oct 19, 2013 11:05 am

Re: Empowering Group Program Run-through - Lesson 14

Post by Ninjafrodo2 » Sun Mar 02, 2014 8:04 pm

THH;
Just reading what you are saying and imagining the situations you talk of makes me feel like I'd want to be by myself too. Those responses are negative and drainning, its no wonder you'd want to avoid people. And that is fine, you definately have the right to go ahead and do that in order to take care of yourself.

But overall it sounds like you are doing a really great job with things. How do you feel? By the way i forgot to tell you about the tinctures....the ones for anxiety are Valerian (15-20 drops) + Passion Flower (20-30 drops) in water before bed and the one to increase stress tolerance is Rhodiolla.


So I finished the workbook stuff and several things stuck out for me.
#1 I did the Behavioral Warning Signals assessment and I checked every box except for the one about arguing with spouse, family members and co-workers over minor things and well thats likely because I don't work and thus have no co-workers, I have no spouse and I don't talk with my family members. I didn't score high at all on the stress test so this shows me that nothing really stressful is going on externally in my life right now, its mainly internally and with my perception. So thats what I mainly need to deal with.

#2 The part about Depression
Stress that becomes chornic and/or excessive to the point that it begins to take a toll on your mind, body and spirit, frequently leads to some degree of depression. This fact can be a very exciting beginning for sufferers. If we resolve our problems (cause) with stress we can change the effect.
This solidifies for me that the depression is not just something that happens for no reason. There are issues that can keep us stuck but if we can resolve them then we can unstick ourselves. Thats empowering.

#3 The action assignment about making a list of every stressor that you can remember from the last 4 weeks.
->Well I decided to think back and wrote these out and I wrote out a page and a half (both front and back) of things that have bothered me and caused me stress and wow, it really is no wonder that I was having alot of anxiety. You know what I found in there? Shoulds, unrealistic expectations, situations where I was making bigger than they actually were, situations where I got stuck because I wasn't assertive, fears of body symptoms...ect.

=>I didn't really do that part in the lesson about fear and guilt where you set aside worry time each day and then you problem solve with that time, mainly because I didn't know how to come up with things to work on...well looking at what has caused me stress seems to have been a great way to identify those issues and I think now I can start doing this, especially if these consistent problems are going to cause me chronic stress and lead to depression.

By the way we start the last lesson tomorrow (Monday) :)

Mike

THH
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Re: Empowering Group Program Run-through - Lesson 14

Post by THH » Mon Mar 03, 2014 8:32 pm

Oh thanks Mike on the herbs your trying. How have they helped you?

I am feeling fairly well. Our freezing weather has been really hard to keep a spring in my step. But I have managed to entertain myself by doing some painting. Not pictures but rather walls. I enjoy picking out colors, and warming up a room by changing the color. I like my house and it inspires me to clean and DE clutter by having a whole new feel to the room.

This Thursday I have to take my mom to an eye doctor appt. This should be interesting... I will be driving to a different area, I will have to use a lot of my energy to keep as much positive energy for myself, And take as good of care of her to make sure everything is safe for her. She has multiple issues with her health and all can be a challenge. The biggest will be - for myself not to get to drained. I usually do well in her presents but when I get home I get overwhelmed. So I will make my plans and go forward. I can do this!

How are you feeling Mike? Where is Forever? Well one more lesson.
Thank you on going over the part about depression, excellent reminder! Now that I have made a connection with depression this time though it is something to look for when feeling bad. ;)

forever young 06
Posts: 284
Joined: Sun Jun 25, 2006 5:19 pm

Re: Empowering Group Program Run-through - Lesson 14

Post by forever young 06 » Tue Mar 04, 2014 3:40 pm

guys I have fallen back and can't get up. It is like I am locked up. I have been had a lot of upper back pain and neck pain and am worrying about it. I had a panic attack sunday night. I am not doing too well. we had a ice , sleet and snow and that was stressful. I am worried about my health it is keeping me stuck. I don't know how to get pass it. I listened to tape 13 but didn't do the workbook. I said I had never gotten this far and I hate to not finish. I don't know if I should go see a dr but I am afraid they will find something. I know this is all negative but I don't know what to do about it. mike you said you was bothered about body symptoms. Is that like from panic or like me how you feel. what do you think I should do?

THH good luck with your mom. I know you can do it. I wanted to be able to drive but never got that far to even try. I wonder if this isn't to distract me from facing my driving fear. something to think about.

THH
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Joined: Mon May 10, 2010 10:53 am

Re: Empowering Group Program Run-through - Lesson 14

Post by THH » Wed Mar 05, 2014 9:58 am

Forever Young,
You can get back up!!! We are almost at the finish line.

You have been taking care of grand children, you probably have been picking them up and holding them, using body parts you forgot you had! It probably is muscle strain and can take some time to heal up. It does not help that it is so cold and the stress this winter alone is hard on our bodies.
Float with the fears, you have skills to pull yourself out of this skid. You can!

Thanks for the encouragement with my day tomorrow. I'll let you know how things go. We are NOT finishing with out you :D Coach Chris posted in our last session. It is pretty good :mrgreen:

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