Need help keeping stress from becoming anxiety!

Stress can keep you down. Stress can also help you create. Learn to make stress a positive force in your life.
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lisa2692
Posts: 11
Joined: Thu Oct 08, 2009 6:29 pm

Need help keeping stress from becoming anxiety!

Post by lisa2692 » Tue Mar 06, 2012 4:50 pm

I've done this session four times in three years and still have yet to master it! I have been going thru drastic family changes since 2010 and have not managed it too well. I pretty much had a complete relapse early November. I've been going thru the program again and am taking 25 mg. zoloft to help me get through being away from my husband, selling our home, moving to a new, big city, and changing jobs, all while helping my kids cope.

I don't get how to keep stress from manifesting itself as anxiety. I mean, isn't all anxiety stress induced? Why is this lesson so late in the program? Is this just about recognizing that you're feeling anxious because you're not dealing with stress well? I feel like I need some kind of three or four step process!

An example: yesterday my family and I were packing up things and doing some house work to get our home ready to sell. I'm sorting through this stuff in our attic, feeling overwhelmed at the task, as well as putting the house on the market. To deal with overwhelmed feeling, I tell myself it's no big deal, go get a drink, text a friend. I go back to sorting, but feel more anxious. I see all these projects I started, some projects the kids started, I feel like I am some sort of loser for not finishing, and a bad mom for neglecting the kids' projects, too. I tell myself, I'm not a bad mom we've been very busy and picked up other interests and projects, these things don't matter in the long run. I don't believe myself. I go wash my face, I pace the house for a little while, I scrape paint off the floor. Each time I go back to sorting and packing, I feel the anxiety escalate. I felt like a failure last night, couldn't eat or smile.

I think the lies I was telling myself distracted me from thinking about moving and that my husband was leaving town that night. It effectively distracted me. The thing is the stress from the distraction is way worse than the thought of moving. What can I do when I don't believe my thought-countering statements? How can I stop avoiding??? I am avoiding painting right this minute by posting this. I am tired of this cycle! I don't want to avoid anything ever again!!! I am shortchanging my life! What else can I do?

Iwillbebetter
Posts: 484
Joined: Sun Nov 27, 2011 8:35 am
Location: Minnesota

Re: Need help keeping stress from becoming anxiety!

Post by Iwillbebetter » Wed Mar 07, 2012 7:47 am

I wish I had more to say other than I can relate. You are right it is the stress that leads to the anxiety, the stress leads to the anxiety when we don't re-act to it in a healthy manner. Then all we do is feed the stress til it has grown to full blown anxiety. I would suggest spending a lot of time in session 3 the positive self talk. I know I struggle with this, but have been getting better. It is harder at first as we don't always believe what we are telling ourselves.
Maybe if there is a way you can look at your tasks in a different manner instead of as a "chore" or something "you have to do" I think that alone can stress us out, when we look at all we "have" to do.
In a book I read about simple things to reduce stress, for housework it suggested you make a list of what you need to do. Put a 10, 20 and 30 next to each thing. Then start with the first work at it for 10 minutes. Then go to the next for 10 minutes until you have reached the end. Maybe then take a little break - pat yourself on the back for what you've done so far, then start over going to 20 minutes the next time.... until you are done.
I know in a few sessions they suggest different types of readings to go along with the program, I wonder if you have done that? I have found this time around that has been VERY helpful (this is my 2nd time in program first time I only made it to session 7 where I am now, am trying to follow program better this time in doing the suggested things also).
Best of luck to you!! Would love to hear of your progress and how you do end up handling. Just know in the end it will all work out!!
"Only rainbows after rain, the sun will always come again, and it's a cirlce, circling around again it comes around again...."

bonita2243
Posts: 24
Joined: Thu Sep 15, 2011 9:43 am
Location: chicago
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Re: Need help keeping stress from becoming anxiety!

Post by bonita2243 » Mon Mar 12, 2012 8:35 am

i know how you feeling because i also have been going through the same thing, i thought i was doing good with my axiety for 6 months i was dealing with it and have not gotten an anxiet attack for 5 months and all of a sudden it came back with a vengeance i was on my way to church and it hit me in church i admit i have been dealing with alot of stress latley and it first i wanted to blame it on the program that it was not helping me but in reality its not the program its me i have to help my self and i realized that i have to learn some how some way to deal with all the anxiousness so i understand how you feel hang in their were all in this together.
mona

patrromig
Posts: 11
Joined: Mon Jan 09, 2012 4:00 pm

Re: Need help keeping stress from becoming anxiety!

Post by patrromig » Fri Apr 13, 2012 8:58 pm

there will always be stress in your life, but dealing with it is up to you. depending on your stress prioritize your stress, which "stress-er" can you eliminate or work on first take stress one step at a time.

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