Today is a tough one!

[cj20520]

Yesterday i told you of my cake episode, so today i will tell you why i had so many sweets. My family knows how much i love sweets and obviously did not talk amongst themselves regarding my birthday (today) and so each of them brought me sweets. Had to taste each, didnt want to hurt feelings. Yeah Yeah.....

So today i woke up anxious, my stomach feeling horrid. I just really dont like to celebrate my birthday anymore. 14 years ago my youngest son, Tyler, was hospitalized for his second bonemarrow transplant. We all thought the first one had worked, he was tested and found it to be 100% donor. But 9 months later it had returned. We all were pretty positive as he had gone through it once and done really well. 18 days later on my husbands birthday he was diagnosed with aspergillus (fungus) in his lung. Not a good thing, but they started treatment and days later he had surgery to remove it. That was successful, except for the recover. My baby was in so much pain it was unbearable. The docs had trouble getting the pain meds right because of all the other meds he was on and his age. Soon he was Tyler again and my husband and i shared some fun evenings with him playing games, building models and watching movies. Then we were told that the fungus had moved to his brain and there was nothing they could do. A few days later he quietly went to be with Jesus. I have to tell you a wonderful story about his departure. He was not really clear when he spoke, but every once in awhile he would sit up and say something clear as could be. This one time he sat up and asked if when he went home, could he take his angel with him. I miss him so much and celebrate today with him because he loved life and lived it to the fullest.

Thank you all for being here and letting me have these moments.
CJ

[Paisleegreen]

Ah...CJ...thank you for sharing. I know that must have been so hard for you. So sweet to have him ask you if he could take his Angel home with him. I'm curious though, was the Angel one that was for him that was invisible to you, or was the Angel a physical representation of one, such as a stuffed toy, or paper or something like that.

My mother always had a hard time at Christmas because her brother was killed in a car crash in December, then her parents were killed going to a funeral or his in December as well.

Losing a son or a child is so very hard. Hugs sent your way, Paislee

[cj20520]

Thank you for the kind words. As for the angel, we don't really know. The hospital had an angel night light, but it just didn't feel like that was what he was talking about.

He also told us not to let a friend of ours get on that train. Later we found out that he was actually considering taking a train home from MT, but decided not to at the last moment. It derailed.

I went and had some acupuncture this am and feel much better. Now, I can celebrate in true Tyler fashion.
CJ

[Paisleegreen]

That's great, CJ! I hear acupuncture works pretty good! It sounds like there was an Angel hovering over your son and giving him comfort that only he could see. Before my father passed from Lymphoma, he told my sister he was "dreaming", I think the dreams were loved ones hovering over him to take him "home". I asked my sister to ask him what the dreams were about, but he had passed on in the wee hours of the morning before she could do that.

My father in law, was upset when he was near death and saw both his wives waiting for him to go to the "other side" and they revived him at the Drs office where he fell down from a heart attack or old age. He lost his first wife after she had given birth to their 5th child and then later remarried when his children were grown up, and that wife preceded him in death. Paislee