The Challenge...Lesson 14

[Paisleegreen]

MIke, those are great rules you put down for yourself. I like them and will have to borrow some...

Also, living conditions are much better than they were as DH and I get counseling from an Excellent Psychologist. He discussed with me that DS soon will be out of the house, he won't be there forever, what 19 year old wants to live at home forever. So we focus on my relationship with hubby, and is it getting better. I really have to work on patience and positive thinking, because I really am getting better. I just have to let go of some unrealistic expectations I put on myself and others.

I have to start thinking as What if suggested, the "How" I am going to make something happen instead of the thinking it isn't getting done or it never will get done.

CJ Yes, taking care of elderly parents is hard and I understand how hard it is when one parent doesn't endear you to them as much as the other. I think this is what is happening with my father in law, as he has been one sided a lot in his raising of many children. but I think as I get to know him he had great anxiety growing up being the middle child of seven children and the only girl was the baby. He was an awkward looking young man and really needed braces, but that didn't happen in the 40's so I think he has always been self concience about that. So his younger children know him differently than the older ones, and the two younger ones are the ones that have POA over him and live in town.

Well, I better post this, I'm still recovering from a bad cold/flu. not sure what it is. But its kept me in bed pretty much for 3 days. Ugh. _ paislee

[cj20520]

Mike:
Yes, i dont like change. I like familiarity. My sleep is spuratic and usually depends on how well my husband sleeps. If he is up its hard for me to sleep. Plus i am blessed with night sweats, so no, i dont get particularly great sleeps.

My goal is pretty simple. To be able to function and live life without hesitation. Once i get my stomach under control i believe i will be there. I am able to do pretty much anything by myself, its when its doing things with others that my stomach really gets upset and i know its the anxiety. Its losing that control to leave when i want to.

cj

[Paisleegreen]

CJ- I'm like you, I don't sleep well with DH and I don't care for change either. Also, many things I'm not afraid of but do notice the anxiety in my "gut" when working with others that I'm not comfortable with bothers me as well. Also, being able to leave when I want to is important to me as well. Paislee

[THH]

Tired of black, trying blue! LOL...
Mike,
Glad your feeling better,I too have been stressed. I have found out that back when my furnace broke and I payed my company big$$$$ to repair, that both the repair & labor is part of a class action law suite that was awarded to the people against the dealer and I should not have paid a dime for any of it! That is the good news, the bad is I paid these people and now I have to be assertive and get my money back. Monday I was on the phone all day getting nowhere. Tuesday is slightly better, I feel the tone is changing. So I now have to wait to hear from the main company to see if they will help me retrieve my $ . I hate people who take advantage of people. Back to session one!!! LOL... The people I bought my furnace from double dipped as they collected from the dealer and me both! Maybe that is why I feel dull today...
Maybe tomorrow will bring good news!
Have a good night.

[THH]

cj, Glad you joined us!
I have stomach trouble as well and most of it is due to my negative thoughts, feeling rushed, dwelling on things I can't change. I get IBS when I get extremely stressed out. The relaxation tape is great I used that often as I can. Telling myself I have all the time I need helps when I get that panic feeling to hurry. All the things in the program do help. I have had 85% improvement so for me it does work. You mentioned night sweats, you maybe close to my age as we women have hormones to deal with at this age. This can also cause stomach problems, I think its too much progesterone? Anyhow it can cause bloating. For me that = anxiety. I'm doing better with floating with symptoms and realizing there are many changes going on in the ole body! Sounds like your doing well with the program.

[NinjaFrodo]

THH
Wow that has got to be a stressful situation. It really doesn't feel good to be taken advantage of and being ripped off. Well I hope it works out for you.


Mike

[NinjaFrodo]

Paisleegreen
Thank you. They make me feel alot more in control and secure when it comes to friendships and any kind of relationship really. You know I worry alot about being manipulated but didn't really try to figure out what are the signs of manipulation but now after writing those rules down, I now know how to notice it. I know how to notice it basically by if they are considering my feelings or not and if they are trying to get me to do something I don't want to do. It feels much freer for me.

You know i'm working with a diffrent way of making myself feel better than the thought replacement now and maybe you'd benefit from it as well. I had posted the videos maybe on this page or the page before it on this lesson and it really helps. Maybe it would benefit you to instead of making yourself "happy" to make yourself a little less negative. So instead of feeling hopeless or despair you move up to feeling insecure or worthless and then move up into jealousy and then rage and then revenge and then anger and slowly move your way up. Its helped me tremendously because it allows for me to feel negative and have negative thoughts and that in itself is a huge release and then the emotions don't come up as intense as they did before. So basically you come up with thoughts that correspond to the next feeling. You are consciously trying to think of less negative thoughts. They are still negative but not as negative and offer a bit of relief and with this condition all we can really expect is to be a bit relieved with what we do and not comnpletely relieved.

cj20520
Limiting or cutting out certain foods and putting a time limit for your last meal could potentially help your stomach issue. I am speaking both theortically and through my experience as well. Eatting within 2 hours of going to sleep can make it harder to get to sleep or stay asleep especially if the meal is a heavy one (ie beef, dairy, high fat) or one that has lots of sugar in it.

One of my friends got this formula called Essiac which he told to his friend who had problems with lethargy and Irritable bowel syndrome and they found it to work very well for themselves. You could look into that one if you'd like.

I also hear you on the being around others which makes the stomach issues come up. When I first moved out of my house and into my friend's place...after all the stress of going to the cops because of a family member and isolating myself from others, I started to work at a ski hill and it was brutal. I had gone from isolating myself to being a lift operator and so I was helping hundreds of people a day onto the lift that i was in charge of and I switched between constipation and diharrea every day I was there for the first 2 weeks, it was just horrible and I couldn't leave! Oh my god does that ever get tough, don't you think so?


Mike

[Paisleegreen]

Wow, Mike, from being by yourself to being a ski lift operator! Whoa Nellie! That would be very anxiety producing, what a change in environment indeed! Hey, I like your ideas on the negativity thought change, that is sort of a form of what depression is. If a person is angry then they are less depressed. When they want to give up, that is full depression, but if there is some fight in them then there is hope. One of the levels was crying, I haven't looked at it lately, because I always study "moods" and "depression" so haven't really needed to look at the scale of a depressed person or a child. As this was a scale used in a book on helping children who are "discouraged". So I guess these are steps of discouragement.

THH-I like your color scheme! I experimented on another post earlier and found that it was pretty easy to change color! I definitely have an aversion to people ripping off other people! Especially the elderly and mentally disabled in anyway. DH and I have been taken so many times by smiling people face to face, but more DH because he is too trusting. So I answer the main phone calls that come in that aren't for business and I can tell when they are selling me something. I just hope that my mind is still clear when I'm older, as my father sure was taken during a time he was most vulnerable, but rescued by a smart brother just in time. This was a TV commercial that promised a lot of blue sky for a lot of money from his credit card. Paislee

[THH]

I liked the purple! Nice!
Too bad you have to type in the []. Oh well its fun to change ink.
Today was quiet. No new information about what my company is going to do? So I''m on hold for now. I'm hopeful - we will see.

I did pretty good at keeping my facts and paper work organized. I just felt overwhelmed at keeping things straight and keeping calm.
I also feel as I was taken advantage of and I know it happens to people everyday. It is a shame! Why don't those people have trouble sleeping? Maybe they do, I guess. Best for me not to dwell. I represented my case well, I just have to wait for the results and go from there. Too be continued...


Mike, You were a ski lift operator???? Wow...That is stressful! I think the most stressful job I have had was being a waitress and working holidays in the floral business.

[Paisleegreen]

Hi THH--I'm glad you have your papers all put together. I'm hoping that things will work out well for you. I don't think the scammers have a problem sleeping, I think some of them if they do drink a lot. Eventually, it will catch up to them, if not in this life, it will in the next.

I didn't have to type in the [] I just pressed onto the font color window/button and it automatically colors my type after I pick a color.

To all of you: GOLDIE HAWN was on OPRAH and they talked about being happy! It was very good, I would like to read her book and the guy that also wrote a book called Thrive or something like that. It was very enlightening!

Paislee