The Challenge...Lesson 14

Stress can keep you down. Stress can also help you create. Learn to make stress a positive force in your life.
Paisleegreen
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Re: The Challenge...Lesson 14

Post by Paisleegreen » Tue Mar 08, 2011 9:39 am

Hope, I love what you posted! It is so true! Since my son is a gifted in the Technology Age, it is so frustrating because he always has to change things. Ugh. Right when I get use to something and have the notion that I can retrieve it when I wnat he changes it up. And because he is 19 1/2 he doesn't understand that it is harder for his mom and Dad to constantly be learning new things that arent' important because we have so much on our minds. We don't have the carefree lifestyle of a 19 year old. We wish we did... :) our minds would be quick, our memories sharp, our body full of energy where we can go and go.

He tells us he can do things for us, but where does he find the time when he fills it up with so much tecnology of his cell phone pinging every 30 seconds of plain nonsense. But he is a good son, he is caring and trying to help his friends that don't have the advantages he has and are away from parents that aren't as understanding as we are. So he is like on the show MONK, a gift and a curse. :lol:

I like the idea of how people are building large houses and having less children to fill them. My question is who is going to clean them and maintain them if they don't have any children to help out and bring some laughter and joy to its walls. But some people just can't have children or the personality type to be surrounded by children. Their nervous system can't handle the stress.
Then there are those that would love to have a bushel of them, but don't have the resources or have physical limitations.

Anyway, I really liked your thoughts as THH says about multitasking, I was always multitasking and right now to try and do one thing takes everything in me to do so. So it is very frustrating...I use to carry a Dayplanner with me everywhere, but eventually, I wasn't doing anything or going anywhere that I needed that.

I do feel now though that I need to get that Dayplanner back out, so that I can organize my thoughts and goals. Because with this anxiety or age, my memory is not like it use to be and the days seem to come and go so much quicker that I feel as if I haven't accomplished anything. Yikes! Paislee :mrgreen:
but

NinjaFrodo
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Joined: Wed Aug 18, 2004 3:00 am

Re: The Challenge...Lesson 14

Post by NinjaFrodo » Tue Mar 08, 2011 11:11 pm

Paisleegreen
Gardening is something you enjoy but if you overdo it, you will end up hating it like I do with my videogames. You really don't want more things you hate and less things you enjoy, do you?

You're talking about the expectations cd if i'm not mistaken. Yes it definately makes sense, some of those feelings are very similar just like in the example of the rollercoaster. One of the excitement type things about facing a limitation is the amazing feeling you get afterwards, it is a great upshot.

Thats great, I'm glad you are doing more fun things! One thing that lady from the secret talks about is that nothing is more important than feeling good. When we are feeling good, we attract more things that make us feel good. One of the things she mentions in her book is really amazing and her husband actually reads it and there is 2 videos on youtube i'll post on the next thread.

Mcshope
That was a really amazing thing you talked about, the paradox bit. I really enjoyed it and agree with it completely! According to many diffrent sources we are about to go through a whole new era very soon with a new global consciousness which might change everything! I don't know too much of the details but It is suppose to happen somewhere in 2012 some think its the end of one world and the beginning of a new world.


Mike

NinjaFrodo
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Re: The Challenge...Lesson 14

Post by NinjaFrodo » Tue Mar 08, 2011 11:36 pm

Action Assignments
#2 make a list of every stressor in the last 4 weeks.

Digestion being slow Lethargy
Anxiety body symptoms Overloading my day
Pain-pleasure exercise Pushing myself
Walking back from the gym Sleep
Finances and low money Friend's problems
Cake Congestion
Shortness of breath Dirty room
Shaving Friend telling me what to do
Hip-hop Listening to the same music everyday
My abuse Rushing
Posting online Spending alot of time in my room
Finding new music Talking to a certain person on msn
Discouraging myself Thought replacement
My food being thrown in the trash Friend bashing self-help books
Laundry Preparing food
Expectation of treating Sue with shiatsu Not phoning my great aunt
Friend who didn't invite me to her going away party and blocked me on facebook
My friend worrying too much Guided meditations
My friend not listening to my advise and not open to reading books that could help him
Judging myself Judging others
Negative thoughts Not doing the things I want to do
Singing Stretching
Expectations about going to yoga and hip-hop classes and then not going
Not having communication with my cousins and thinking about them
Thinking of shiatsu Thinking of winning cash for life lottery
Clothing that is falling apart Racing thoughts
6 steps Landlord coming home
Videogames Same food a couple days in a row
Not getting out of the house Misplaced ipod
Computer crashing or freezing Songs I don't like that play at the gym
Not being able to do the footwork in hip-hop Getting physically tired in yoga
Talking Reading
Summarizing what I've read Listening and understanding whats being said
Seeing body fat on myself Being around judgmental people
Cold weather People joking about sexual abuse
Sex Buying tokens
Doing Dips at the gym Not feeling worhty of the time with friends
Debt with friend Journaling
Running low on food Not being listened to
Being left out with shiatsu classes Friend talking about spending time with other friends
Hearing that certain people got married Packing up my stuff after working out at the gym
Being asked what I do for a living Not working
Thinking about getting a job Not getting everything done on my to-do list
Nobody commenting on my facebook or twitter posts Hour of power
Discouraging myself while chaning my discourage and judgement habits
Isolating myself from others Spending money
Forgetting things and having to make another trip into my room
Clothes sitting in the basement Hard to clean dishes
Smiling at others Friend doing drugs
Friend having limiting beliefs

Could I have avoided any of these stressors?
->Yes
How many of them did I create?
->Most of them
Which stressors were worth the time I gave them?
->None of them were worth all that time I gave them but still worth some time

Action Assignment #6
Smile at least 5X a day with 3 diffrent people

Well for this one I'm just trying to smile more at people while I walk by them but I get anxious because i'm afraid someone might react negatively and I'm afraid of smiling at guys because they might think that I'm coming onto them. Please if you have any advise or maybe a diffrent way to look at this, I'd really apprecate you letting me know what you think

I did smile at this one guy at the gym that was staring in my general direction and it felt good. I'm slowly working up my courage and its not a full out smile but its the beginning of a smile or a smaller smile or whatever you want to call it.


Mike

NinjaFrodo
Posts: 1263
Joined: Wed Aug 18, 2004 3:00 am

Re: The Challenge...Lesson 14

Post by NinjaFrodo » Tue Mar 08, 2011 11:50 pm

Last couple of days
Well I've been watching some movies by a lady called Ester hicks from the movie "The secret" and there was 1 thing that has made a significant impact on me. It was talking about an emotional scale and how to move up on it. It is another way to change how you are feeling but it is very diffrent from thought replacement.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c544f6Oxjyk&NR=1 Moving up the emotional scale Part 1
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kHFMC7jf ... re=related Moving up the emotional scale Part 2

If you don't believe in the law of attraction thats fine...it still helps you change how you feel.

So basically these emotions have diffrent frequencies and you move yourself up slowly. If you are feeling despair you come up with thoughts that move you from grief to a less painful feeling like guilt and then to a less painful feeling like blame or whatever. Its alot easier to move from a negative emotion to another negative emotion than it is to move from an intense negative emotion to a positive emotion. You can get to a slight negative emotion and then move towards a slight positive emotion and then up and up till you reach the top.

What that has made me see is that I didn't allow myself to feel negative feelings and it was causing me alot of anxiety and depression. I'm starting to allow and go with the negative feelings and its strange but because of that I am getting a stronger feeling of love in general. I am able to accept myself more and maybe thats why I feel more love.

I tried to move up the whole ladder in one day and well it didn't really work so I am going to take it really slowly and just move up one emotion a day and see how that goes but its really intresting because its like I'm "listening" to myself and hearing the thoughts that are bothering me, accepting them and moving on. It might not make a whole lot of sense but give it a try sometime...maybe use it on something that has been bothering you for years that you haven't been able to overcome.


MIke

THH
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Re: The Challenge...Lesson 14

Post by THH » Wed Mar 09, 2011 1:48 pm

Hi everyone,
I'm still alive!!!LOL... This virus is trying to break up. Still on antib. and feeling that it is starting to go in the right direction!
Sleeping better, breathing better. YEY! :mrgreen:

Mike, thank you for posting those links. very cool. I listened to them, and I will re listen to them. I kind of grasp what he was saying, and it made perfect sense. I think for me that is what I have done, I have felt better by thinking (using his scale) things that were lessor ( not all joy but lesser ) which in turn does make you feel better. For me just because its better does not mean it could be better yet! When I was presented a bigger challenge, I was just hovering above panic and collapsed with overwhelm. It certainly is food for thought.
I also understand why it did not work moving up the ladder on one topic in a day, For me, it is not easy to identify each emotion and understand how it works with each person individually. Some seam to be ok, ok, ok, and then break away. It appears to be a process. And that resistance he was taking about really makes alot of sense to me. I know I do that. I'll watch it again, and work it a little bit.

Oh - On the smiling at different people, When I go to the store I will open the door and hold it for someone. Make eye contact and a smile and a nod. Pull a shopping cart for someone older, or a young mom with her hands full. eye contact, here ya go, smile. Driving for me, letting someone out when there is a line of cars. I'll think of more if I can.

Hope,
THE PARADOX OF OUR TIME was really good to read. SO many of us feel the same way. I guess we get to choose at this point. I also think many of us have made the choice. We want rich lives with meaning, I guess it is up to us to show others it can be done! ;)

Paisleegreen
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Joined: Mon Oct 25, 2010 5:27 pm

Re: The Challenge...Lesson 14

Post by Paisleegreen » Wed Mar 09, 2011 4:04 pm

Mike, I like what you wrote! Good Job! I first had to realize what were you writing, but then read up at the top again that they are your stressors.
I can't recall if I have the Secret, the movie, I did record it at one time. I do have all of the CDs and use to listen to them a lot. I use to do a lot before DS did his basement pack up surprise on me last spring. So I have come a long way! I do not have any anxiety symptoms as of right now. I have energy to get up and do something, I have a goal and I don't feel so sad. DH and I did see the Psychologist yesterday and he is noticing a change in me and DH. Because we worked on what he suggested after our last session with him.

We did talk about my family and the disappointments my siblings have brought about to me. (I don't even think that was good English)

I do remember the lady in the Secret talk about Feeling Good. I can even see her and hear her English or Australian accent.

THH-Glad you are getting better.
The weather has turned to sunny skies and warmth, I'm going to go get dressed and empty some garbage cans full of plant debris into the bigger one and maybe do some puttering or even transplanting a Clematis vine. :D Paislee

cj20520
Posts: 45
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Location: Minnesota

Re: The Challenge...Lesson 14

Post by cj20520 » Thu Mar 10, 2011 8:36 am

i feel so encouraged that somewhere it is nice enough to go outside and putter. I so desperately need a attitude adjustment from the sun and some warm weather. I am looking forward to spring plants peeking through and the rose bushes getting their buds. But mostly to just have the windows open and hear the sounds of the morning.

Putter some for me Paisleegreen!!
cj

NinjaFrodo
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Re: The Challenge...Lesson 14

Post by NinjaFrodo » Thu Mar 10, 2011 12:24 pm

THH
As you wish, we will put off lesson 15 till monday so you can catch up.

I thought that when you would replace your thoughts you would feel completely better. I guess that was a misbelief on my part eh. So how do you mean about doing it similar to his way? Say you have a very strong emotion of guilt for instance, how would you lessen it? What would you say to yourself?

You were hovering above panic and then collapsed with overwhelm...do you mean you burnt out?
For me, it is not easy to identify each emotion and understand how it works with each person individually. Some seam to be ok, ok, ok, and then break away.
What did you mean about the 2nd sentence?

You are a very polite and considerate woman! I like to hold doors for others as well but I don't think i make eye contact and I definately don't smile but I'll try that one out.

Paisleegreen
Yeah I had spaced it out to look at neat and organized and then i posted it and it wasn't the way I had it. It was a little frustrating and looks so messy but I did get it out and thank you.

The secret has diffrent cds? I didnm't know that. Well the movie isn't very good at going into detail but that lady who's videos I posted is very good at it, definately check it out.

Great no anxiety symptoms, thats gotta be a huge relief.

Ah your talking about the creator, ya thats australian your right.


Mike

Paisleegreen
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Re: The Challenge...Lesson 14

Post by Paisleegreen » Thu Mar 10, 2011 12:55 pm

Yes, Mike, The Secret, the book, comes in CD form and there are about 6 CDs, I'm pretty sure of that because I listened to them a lot. But I also have Marcia Weider's book on CDs as well. She is really inspirational in changing your life and circumstances. She was on Oprah years ago.

CJ I'll think about you as I do some more work out in my garden. I had to clear away last years plant debris to find the new shoots of many plants coming up, but tulips were the most exciting because they will be blooming first! I want to move some of the tulips before they bloom to a nicer and more visible location. Also, my clematis plants I want to divide as well. My gold fish are enjoying the warm temps as well and are coming up for food.

I am feeling so much better with this sunshine and exercise and from eating egg salad sandwiches. :D Plus by being outsie i get to visit my neighbor who is a cowboy and takes his horses to the arena almost everyday. It is always fun to watch the horses come clip clopping along the road led by their Master, the Cowboy. They go to an arena where the Cowboy teaches others how to rope a steer. They look at me, the horses, with such cute curiosity. They remind me of huge dogs they way they love their Master, the Cowboy. He is a gentleman cowboy, works at a regular job during the day and ropes in the evening. Paislee :mrgreen:

P.S. I have family coming over for a family event, that means my Father in law and other relatives. Hopefully, I will be calm and enjoy myself. I am disappointed that one family member isn't coming. So I have been working overcoming the disappointing feelings. :cry:

THH
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Re: The Challenge...Lesson 14

Post by THH » Thu Mar 10, 2011 7:55 pm

Thanks for waiting for me to catch up! My energy level seams to be lasting longer, I am getting through this! What a long one!
Monday will be great to start lesson 15.

Mike, your right when I do use thought replacement with better thoughts I do feel better. There are certain times when I get multiples going, such as : My mother, so very upset with my sister and the job, her niece passing. I use thought replacement for my self and try to use positive things, such as maybe her new job will be so much better then her old job. She might be more content, closer to home with gas prices ect...My cousin, was sick a very long time. She is at peace now, and her suffering is over. Its a better way to look at it but at times I even can even question my own thoughts. Esp. when I don't feel good, tired, stressed from being sick.
So what I got from the video was saying, 15 being really high overwhelm, Using my thought replacement brought me to a 10 but when all things combined I went to a 15. I never got to a 5 on my issues. I just was keeping them lower than 15.
I don't know if I cleared it up much but I tried! LOL...

On your question of guilt, I guess it depends on what I was feeling guilty about? At this time I don't have a strong emotion of guilt. Give me a situation?

I understood panic to be like a 14 and overwhelm 15. Overwhelm seams to be a shut down for me. At that point I have to stop all thoughts and just work on my immediate feeling, which ever is the strongest emotion,or what is bothering me the most.That can take me a few minutes to just identify. At the time while I was sick, it was what do I do? Go to the doctor, or wait. I felt terrible for 3 days its now Friday,and my friend kept saying it is a cold. I never had a cold like this and the symptoms were creeping me out. Many people mentioned pneumonia and I decided I would feel better if someone seen me. So I think to answer your question overwhelm meant I can't help my mom, I can't help my sister, I need to take care of myself and of coarse my husband was following me with his sickness as well. He just works and keeps going. Then he tells me things like I almost passed out and I'm coming home. I ask him do you want to go to the doctor and he says things like I don't know what he can do??? I made a decision to go for help, glad I did but it seams like I am the one who always has to make that call. He says things like I'm alright and I follow him around with all kinds of signs he is not doing well. I feel at times like I am the over seer of just about everything, and when I am down I can't relax until I make all the arrangements to relax. For me that is my overwhelm.
I get confused with calling my emotion, frustration, stress, anger, at times I just don't know what emotion I am feeling. That is when it becomes hard for me to do replacement with my thought as I can't identify which one it is I'm feeling. Its like my brain don't break things down to category well. I have to write it down or ask myself what am I feeling now? I think I just process all the information really fast and need to slow it down so I can follow better. The going to a room alone, relax, breath and self talk gets me in a beginning direction.

I also live in a small town. Lots of elderly so it is very easy to help those poor old ones. I hope when I get that old someone will be nice to me. I have been to big city's and people are so rude and non caring, I hope you live in a nice part of the world. They would love a young pleasant person to do anything for them! It does make me feel helpful,and like paying something forward for myself at the same time.

Paislee,
It sounds so nice where you live. We had some red wing black birds come today. Poor birds, its snowing tonight and we are to get 12 inches! Pull a weed for me too! I love clematis, I have 3, 2 purples and a pink & white. They are so lovely. I also have a nice hosta collection. Big huge Blues, all the way to the teenie weenies! They are so pretty in the spring. Only dreams at this point!

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