There are two sisters that live in town close to Dad and they have POA, I believe or at least they handle his money or keep track of it, clean his clothes, and house, when he isn't around. He doesn't let his daughter's take his clothes, they have to sneak to take them to be washed. I guess they sneaked in while he was at my place, cleaned his kitchen table and left everything as they found it, so he wouldn't think anything was missing. So that means all his paper piles were left the same.
I know the sisters want help...when we offered to take Dad for the winter my one sister in law was so grateful, she does worry about him and has her own young adult son's health to worry about and works full-time. She started having him come over to her house to take a shower. He has only had two so far and by himself, noone assisting in the bathroom.
The other sister has two children and she works at home and has a busy husband. But lives very close to her Dad. The rest of us are much farther away or out of state. While FIL was at my house, I did all the communicating and caring for him. DH was busy with our business and when not he rests. He will visit with his Dad but we all understand why noone wants to because he is a story teller and repeats his stories. But this last visit, he repeated something immediately, this was a new experience for me and the niece that was visiting. So we took a mental note of that. My mother did that as well in her last days after she had some strokes and was 85 years old.
It pretty much appears to DH since he took his Dad back home along with his older brother, that Dear Dad just isn't capable of maintaining a coal furnace. The task of going up and down the stairs that are steep and narrow is too hard on an aging man with some leg pain and vision problems.
The problem the children have is having to say, "No." to their Dad. They don't like confrontation and his outbursts scare them. I was able to talk more with Dad because I'm not busy with a family to raise or have to make a living. But it is stressful to me because I don't have the Power to make things happen and get frustrated with DH making excuses for not doing anything for his Dad. Since they don't want to see a Dr themselves, they aren't going to push their Dad to go see one. They will wait until there is an emergency where they check up on their Dad and he is sicker than a dog and then take him to the ER and he ends up having Pneumonia and some broken ribs from a fall he took.
That is why I get so worried...my own daughter feels the same way. She went over to visit and cleaned out his fridge and tried to clean up the best she could with a cold house. She didn't stay at the house.
It is all coming to a head now, because the sisters believed their Dad when he says he is building a fire in the coal furnace or he is taking shower. Then when they started to check on him more, then they found out that he is not telling the truth. Or maybe is not being forthright because he isn't feeling good or thinking straight and just wants to be left alone. He doesn't complain to anyone.
Well, I'll see how this week goes and I'll write my sister in laws about Dad thinking my piano bench was a table he built when he was in high school. We have that on video. Thanks for all your help, THH I'll work on doing what I can and work on letting go of what I can't control.
Paislee
To calm my gut system down. Otherwise, I feel anxiety symptoms. 
So I guess what we deem unacceptable living conditions, others love the idea. Our ancestors lived this way, so what's the big deal. 
