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Posted: Mon Jan 28, 2008 7:04 am
by Diggy
Well you would think after going through the past 13 weeks i would have learned how to let go a little. I didn't. My boyfriend is planning a 30Th birthday for me in 2 weeks. I know about it time place ect, but he wanted to suprise me with decorations ect and the control freak i am just had to know how many tables and wanted to get the decorations ect so we had a huge fight and now I don't even want the party. I just don't know how to let go and let others do for me. Any advice

Posted: Mon Jan 28, 2008 7:17 am
by Maeggie
Hi Diggy,

this sounds like an anticipatory anxiety issue. You must step through that wall to become relaxed on the other side- simple answer- you have to be aware and you have to let go, you have to accept and allow thats the only way to get over this- I felt the same more financial and to be honest when I let him pay and just said thank you, it felt good, in the end of course!

You are beating yourself up in the first sentance of your post! common stop! be kind to yourself, get out session 3 :) I vote to relax, accept and allow- let your man do this- it isnt just about you- its about him wanting to do this for you and the good feelings he feels when he does these things! I know its tough but start what-ifing positive!

Please keep me posted! goodluck!

Posted: Fri Feb 01, 2008 8:08 am
by AMANDAJ
Maeggie and Diggy

We just have to forgive ourselves and try again. Practice makes perfect. We can choose to not be perfect and be satisfied with what the optimal "you" is. Tell ourselves to relax, it's okay and we can do better.

AmandaJ

Posted: Sun Feb 03, 2008 1:40 pm
by Diggy
Thank you both... the party is this Sat coming and i am trying my best to just step back not worry or even think about anything other than what i am going to wear!

Posted: Tue Mar 04, 2008 6:42 am
by MsPurple
That's good. Focus on the decision you CAN make: clothing :) Personally, I like when people do things for me because I don't HAVE to make those decisions. I also have to prepare myself by telling myself, "Ok the decisions they make won't be the same ones I would make. It won't be exactly the way I want it, but that's OK. It doesn't have to be the way I want it. It'll be just fine the way they do it and I can have fun without having control over every little detail."

You'll have fun. Just make sure your expectations are realistic and you'll be fine!

Posted: Fri Mar 07, 2008 1:21 am
by Alexis
all so true. when someone is doing something for you that they thougth of...their gesture...stay out of it...no control here necessary as it is not soemthing that you requested to be done...and need it done a certain way, by a certain time, certain budget,etc...its like someone is going out and buyin gyou a GIFT...you really shouldnt say anything but a great big THANK YOU...its diffictul to let go,. but...try to understand their side of it, and if it were you giving someone a surprise party, how would you feel if they acted like you were?....hope that helps...