being too busy causes anxiety

Stress can keep you down. Stress can also help you create. Learn to make stress a positive force in your life.
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sleeplessMom
Posts: 81
Joined: Tue Aug 22, 2006 2:16 pm

Post by sleeplessMom » Thu Apr 17, 2008 5:40 am

Does anyone have some tips for someone who is functioning fairly well but feels really stressed and anxious when I have any extra events scheduled, even if I have time to do them? After going through the program, I realized that I anticipate busy weeks way ahead of time, and worry and feel upset about how stressed I will feel and how I hate to be so busy. My husband once commented: "Being stressed stresses you out." Even having to go to one evening function in a week, or a soccer practice, anything that is out of the ordinary causes me stress...not because I am afraid or uncomfortable at these events, but because I feel like I will be stressed by also trying to do the regular tasks that it takes to manage a household with two kids. And working too, having to leave work to get one kid, then homework, then go get the other kid, then the evening function....the whole process is ripe for falling behind schedule during these many transitions, even though I am good at planning and being on time. If I am truly overscheduled, I try to eliminate some things. But sometimes there are just things that need to happen, and it has caused me to stop sleeping and get really anxious in the past. I try to tell myself I don't need to think of my whole schedule at once, just take it day by day and there will be time for everything, but this has only worked to a point. Any suggestions would be appreciated!
formerly SleeplessMom

Guest

Post by Guest » Thu Apr 17, 2008 6:05 am

hey mom

my best advice to you is SLOW DOWN. We get so caught up in doing and taking our kids places that we loos the focus...the kids. We are constantly saying COME ON! Hurry up! We are gonna be late! or Im so tired. Not now mommy is busy.

What are we doing? What is the point of all this busyness if it only makes us busy. Our kids would get even more out of playing soccer in the yard with us and a group of neighborhood freinds than being carted half way across town to play with those kids.

Why do we make it so hard? I dont do all this junk. My kids play with thier freinds and we do one activty a season and thats it. During school we do no extras because school is important. We play outside we ride our bikes like a family we go for walks we fly kites instead of wasting time and money carting off to this and that.

Sometimes we get so caught up in doing we forget to smell the roses. you have the control to change this......you just have to make the choice to do it.

I did and life is great. Kids are happy and we are a family not a on the go parade of people.
Dodger

Guest

Post by Guest » Sun Apr 20, 2008 12:16 pm

You are right Dodger, I probably need to slow down sometimes. And in the future I will carefully consider what I say yes to. But the thing of it is, some of these things are things important to my kids (science night at the school) and also mixed in there this week were things that are supposed to be fun! My husband and I rarely get out alone, and one was a work-related social get together and I had a babysitter lined up but I had to bring something because it was potluck. Also another night a cookout with a family that was potluck. So instead of looking forward to these fun things (and they both were), I was looking at them like one more stressful thing to do. So I decided that I needed an attitude change as much as anything else. And instead of being frustrated and overwhelmed while I was making my dishes (homemade...OK I could have cut a corner there!), I would change my thoughts to be more positive in anticipation of a night out. So far I am doing OK, so maybe it is working. I have one more thing tomorrow, then a "normal" day, then one more thing. I also realize I need to take it one day at a time, instead of looking at 6 days in a row as a stressful "unit". It is funny, our family is less scheduled with activities than many families I know...I can't imagine how some people do it. But I have been trying to stay more in the moment. Thanks for your guidance.
formerly SleeplessMom

Guest

Post by Guest » Tue Apr 22, 2008 3:40 am

i recently started taking yoga and i had a sort of epiphany during it. you do these really hard poses and then they expect you to rest for like a minute in between them. how am i suppost to rest when i know i have to do another really hard pose in 30 seconds? i always just wanted to get it over with and rest when it was all done but i realized that that isn't how life is.
you need to learn to live in the moment. when you have a busy schedule take ten minutes in between things and do the relaxation tape. quiet your mind. rest for a few moments and enjoy. i recommend yoga but if you dont have time then just take those minutes to listen to nature and just reconnect with yourself and recharge your battery. it really works.

Guest

Post by Guest » Tue Apr 22, 2008 7:18 am

I feel the same as you about being so busy, my therapist is always telling me to slow down, that I somehow create my anxiety by not making good decisions for myself about my level of activity. I have 3 little kids so I am always busy and trying to fit it all in, so I feel a little like I have to do these things for them and I want to do these things for them and I am trying to not feel like such a delicate hot house flower. Oh well, it is all such a balancing act with kids and a husband and oh yes ourselves. I do yoga alot and I find it very helpful in relaxing the mind. I am reading a book now called Yoga for Depression by Amy Weintraub, which is excellent and gives a lot of great information about suffering and lots of at home things you can do. Yes, and cut those corners, it does not have to be homemade all the time... Take care

Guest

Post by Guest » Wed Apr 23, 2008 7:32 am

singerleigh and MCG3: That is funny that you both mentioned yoga. I had been taking a yoga class once a week in the fall and beginning of this year, but still had a major setback with regard to anxiety. I am reading a book by Jon Kabat-Zinn (Full Catastrophe Living -- I love that title) on mindfulness, and he talks a lot about being in the moment and doing yoga as a meditation. Maybe I looked at it too much like exercise and wasn't paying attention to my negative thinking getting the best of me. In the book he talks a lot about listening to your body and stretching your limits slowly and being aware of your body while doing yoga. I have been trying to meditate every day...in addition to the relaxation CD at bedtime. I am not sure I would really recommend this book though, because there is some far out stuff that I think is unproven and could increase anxiety in some of us. I just skim those chapters and choose to believe what I want to believe!
formerly sleeplessMom

Guest

Post by Guest » Fri Apr 25, 2008 2:50 am

I just had a small suggestion on the potlucks type invitations...

I used to be the one who had to make the dish from scratch and super fancy...I guess it was an attention and praise issue :roll: but I would stress myself and my family out SO MUCH with having to find the time (and often run to the store to buy ingredients) to make it!. SO instead I either FORCE myself to make something simple and easy, or I find a rare Saturday or something where I can fix a few freeze-able dishes ahead of time and store them. That way, when the party comes up - I only have to head to the freezer instead of multiple grocery stores! :)

Just a thought! Hope it helps a bit!

Slow down and enjoy your life! :)

Blessings,
Dawn

TotalKArma
Posts: 4
Joined: Thu Nov 30, 2006 9:08 am

Post by TotalKArma » Sun Apr 27, 2008 1:36 am

Dawn: Great idea about the freeze-ahead idea! I do that for my own family, but I never thought about taking something frozen to potluck. Thanks for the tip!

New Stace
Posts: 28
Joined: Wed Jan 18, 2006 1:21 am

Post by New Stace » Mon Apr 28, 2008 7:30 am

sleeplessmom -

What they don't know - won't hurt them! :D
Blessings,
Dawn

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