Great book for moving past a dysfunctional upbringing

Attention book lovers! Have a great book to share or recommend? Post your reviews.
Arlenez
Posts: 24
Joined: Tue Mar 24, 2009 2:40 pm

Post by Arlenez » Tue Mar 24, 2009 8:27 am

I grew up in a ridiculously dysfunctional family and related to the book Been there, done that? Do This! by Sam Obitz and how it said you have to put the past behind you and use the tools in it to teach you how to live in the moment for a better future. I wear the counter all the time to keep my thoughts on the positive side and do the TEA form exercise in it all the time to keep from getting to emotional and upsetting myself. Best of all it's a short book and I am not a big reader.

GirlWisdom
Posts: 48
Joined: Mon Jul 09, 2007 2:03 am

Post by GirlWisdom » Fri Mar 27, 2009 4:10 pm

Hi Arlenez. I love reading, and especially self-help books. Putting the past behind us is easier said than done for sure. It's been a problem of mine like forever! :) I'm working on it though, and putting the past away, yet learning from it is crucial to healing so it's worth the effort for sure. I didn't grow up in a dysfunctional family, but there are a few things I need to put behind me, so I'm going to get that book. Thanks! PS. I wish you well, and I'm glad the book is helping you. Take care!

Hugs
'Life is not the way it's supposed to be. It's the way it is. The way you cope with it is what makes the difference.'


egriff
Posts: 210
Joined: Sun May 17, 2009 12:45 pm

Post by egriff » Mon May 18, 2009 5:46 am

I'll read any book that talks about a dysfunctional upbringing because I think that's where ALL my anxiety came from. My dad's an alcoholic and I thought just getting away from him would make me better. I was wrong because until I read this book and started doing the TEA forms to change all those ingrained anxiety causing thinking patterns I was stuck treating myself the same way my dad did. So much better now and still do the TEA's all the time and have put all my meds away too. Thanks for sharing your success Arlenez.

karenLeigh
Posts: 112
Joined: Tue May 20, 2008 3:35 pm

Post by karenLeigh » Fri May 22, 2009 5:38 am

egriff...what you said about your "thinking patterns" being the same as your dad's. REALLY hit home with me!
I had a very bad relationship with a boy from the age of 15 till almost 21. I FINALLY realized that I was doing the very same thing....that he did to me! I have beat myself up with neg. self talk for yrs!
My ex-boyfriend was the most neg. person I have ever been around! Then when I finally broke up with him. I thought Yes...finally I will have peace in my life.
I NEVER thought that I would do it to myself... But I did!
I recently got that same book. I hav'nt read much of it. I think I will try to pick it back up. I noticed the TEA forms did'nt start till about half way thru...that's one reason why I stopped reading it. I guess I'm a little
impatient ;)
I wasn't sure if you were suppose to wait till that chapter or not to start the TEA forms?
Kinda like this program....don't jump ahead. I don't know? :?
Sorry about the rambling...I could just totally relate to what you said.
Take-care
"Greater is he that is in you, than he that is in the world".

egriff
Posts: 210
Joined: Sun May 17, 2009 12:45 pm

Post by egriff » Mon Jun 01, 2009 8:18 am

Karen I can totally relate to what you shared as well thanks! Who would have ever thought all those thinking patterns would be ingrained in us too? I never imagined that was what was holding me back! Give the TEA forms a try they have helped turn my thinking around and are pretty easy once you catch on to how to do them. Are you on any meds? I can't tell you how good it feels to be off all of them now and it was worth all the work it took now looking back.

Arlenez
Posts: 24
Joined: Tue Mar 24, 2009 2:40 pm

Post by Arlenez » Sun Jun 06, 2010 7:22 pm

Thanks for all of your replies. I am so glad some of you have read this book and liked it as much as I did. I hope all of you are feeling great!!!

stonez
Posts: 1
Joined: Wed Jul 14, 2010 2:28 pm

Post by stonez » Wed Jul 14, 2010 8:48 am

when i saw "dysfunctional upbringing" i had to stop by and see what some of you had to say and i guess the word "ingrained" is what stuck out to me. THAT IS SO TRUE! it's like no matter how much you think you're 'over that' you still stumble into these 'triggers' that can make you feel like it's not all gone...and if you feel that way i'd venture to say that it's definitely not [all gone]. so this means that i need to explore this book. and i thought that i had given the self-help parade a break but to read the comments, i gather that this book is saying something different, something new. we'll see...thank you

egriff - and this is all in fun - be glad that you weren't forced (for lack of a better word at the moment - well, how about Divinely admonished) to live in the same dysfunctional house that you grew up in, first with the same dysfunctional people then without them but still in the same dysfunctional energetic aura nonetheless...What Point Is The Universe Tryin' To Get Across To Me?!!! i say this as encouragement because even this can be worked thru...eventually. i'm still working (minute-by-minute) but i seem to finally see a glimpse of the little light at the end of the tunnel. peace...

Arlenez
Posts: 24
Joined: Tue Mar 24, 2009 2:40 pm

Post by Arlenez » Fri Jul 23, 2010 11:37 am

Stonez,
I hope you identify with the book as much as I did. I think the TEA forms and the counter exercise will help you break some of the bonds that are ingrained or at least loosen their grip over you. They certainly have been a huge help in that regard for me. Be well :)

egriff
Posts: 210
Joined: Sun May 17, 2009 12:45 pm

Post by egriff » Mon Aug 16, 2010 5:22 am

Originally posted by stonez:
when i saw "dysfunctional upbringing" i had to stop by and see what some of you had to say and i guess the word "ingrained" is what stuck out to me. THAT IS SO TRUE! it's like no matter how much you think you're 'over that' you still stumble into these 'triggers' that can make you feel like it's not all gone...and if you feel that way i'd venture to say that it's definitely not [all gone]. so this means that i need to explore this book. and i thought that i had given the self-help parade a break but to read the comments, i gather that this book is saying something different, something new. we'll see...thank you

egriff - and this is all in fun - be glad that you weren't forced (for lack of a better word at the moment - well, how about Divinely admonished) to live in the same dysfunctional house that you grew up in, first with the same dysfunctional people then without them but still in the same dysfunctional energetic aura nonetheless...What Point Is The Universe Tryin' To Get Across To Me?!!! i say this as encouragement because even this can be worked thru...eventually. i'm still working (minute-by-minute) but i seem to finally see a glimpse of the little light at the end of the tunnel. peace...
Thanks for the note stonez and I totally get what you are saying. Stay strong and keep moving forward right? WE are all in this together and it is great to have a place where we can identify and help each other :)

sandib
Posts: 2
Joined: Tue Jun 22, 2010 10:47 am

Post by sandib » Wed Aug 18, 2010 10:25 pm

Hi, I'm new to this online forum and I saw your post about disfunctional upbringing. Is that the name of the book? Sounds like something I could relate to and would like to take a look at. Thanks for your help.

Post Reply