procrastination

Learn how to bring order back into your life by making reasonable action plans, stop over-scheduling, and become comfortable with asking for help when you need it.
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Yael
Posts: 3
Joined: Thu Nov 22, 2007 12:16 pm

Post by Yael » Sat Mar 15, 2008 10:47 am

Hi, I started the program in November, and I feel so much better. I'm doing it at a slower pace, but it's helping me. I am on session 13:Time management.
My problem is almost the opposite of what Lucinda is talking about.
I procrastinate. I make lists of things, I make them shorter,, I re-write them, but I don't get things done. Maybe 25% of then. I have trouble even calling friends.
I learned to relaxed and have time for myself. When my kids were young, I was always running, overwhelmed, exhausted. My husband never helped and I didn't know how to ask, delegate or be assertive. I learned a lot with this program (unfortunately went through divorced) and feel much more assertive, but sometimes I feel I went to the other extreme. I work full time, keep the house basically clean and cook for my kids and myself. It's the "other stuff" that I never get to, phone calls, organize vacations, taxes (30 days left!)
etc.
Is anybody out there who could help me? Lucinda's tips are good, but I feel I don't fit her profile of stressed-over-scheduled person. I'm far from being a perfecionist too.

Shal416
Posts: 25
Joined: Mon May 01, 2006 4:11 pm

Post by Shal416 » Mon Mar 17, 2008 7:12 am

Yael,
Hi. I started the program in December, and alsom am on session 13. I had to restart one session, and now session 13. Life just got in the way, and I wasn't keeping up with the program.
In regards to your dilema, I think you need to make sure you are doing your priorities. If calling back friends isn't, then don't worry about it. The taxes...well you don't have a choice on those. I don't think any of us fit exactly what Lucinda says. There have been some weeks were I thought stuff didn't exactly apply to me. Then I do them anyway, and sometimes I was surprised to find out it did at least a little. If you are not over-stressed than good for you. It does sound like you know you are procrastinating, and should figure out why. I still recommend doing the session completely. See where you might be able to change or improve. Are you getting things done, but just barely, so feel you can't or don't want to call your friends because you have had enough. I do that. I am amazed at what I get done in a day, but usually at a great expense to myself. I run myself ragged. Not so much stressed out, just mentally and sometimes physically exhausted. I have a new code. For every work or chore, I have a little fun. Life is for enjoying. If you get all the work or chores done, but no fun then what is the point? That is my major lesson from 13 so far. I hope this helps. Just keep in mind, not everyone fits Lucinda's profile exactly. You seem to know what you are and aren't doing. Try to find the "why" behind it. Good luck.

Guest

Post by Guest » Fri Mar 21, 2008 5:01 am

A well deserved congratulations to both of you! I feel like I'm doing much better, also; I began the program in early Jan. and have seen a significant difference in my attitude, productivity, and anxiety.

I honestly can't tell you what lesson I'm on; when I began, I tried to do everything according to what's suggested- I was completlely overwhelmed (especially with the "homework"- as a teacher, my homework never ends!) So I decided to only do what I am currently capable of- listening to the relaxation cd daily, excercising, posting and listening to a specific lesson 3-4 times per
week. Now that I've lstened to all the cd's, I will begin with the workbook, but I will not allow myself to be upset if it takes me more than a week per lesson. We all have to do what works best for us.

As a perfectionist, this freaked me out and made me very uncomfortable at first. However, it was this or nothing- so I accepted my limitations and feel fairly successful.

Yael, have you ever considered that you could be a perfectionist and a procrastinator at the same time? I know I am... because I want everything thoroughly done and perfect, I procrastinate. Example- 12 1/2 years later my wedding album still isn't finished. About 3 years after we'd been married, I finally figured out which pictures I wanted in black and white and which in color. I also had to determine the size of each photo and the order I wanted our album (we were married in Scotland, honeymooned in Ireland, and came back to have a formal reception to satisify parents). I had all this prepared about four years in, then I had to find just the right person to redevelop our photos. Yes, I eventually found someone, but have I done anything about it- NO! Why? At this point, who knows? Maybe for our 15th? ;*)

OK- a long and probably quite boring story, but it's the story of my life, and I'm working really hard to simply say, "Who cares? I'll do the best I can." Because life certainly is not perfect, and when I expect it to be I'm disappointed and miserable!

Blessings to you both,
fischee

Guest

Post by Guest » Fri Mar 21, 2008 5:38 am

Hi, thank you for your responses. Corr, I procrastinated with my response:)
Fischee, your story sounds familiar. I haven't done my son's bar mitzvah photo-album, which happened in 2003!
I don't know why I procrastinate. I doubt it is out of trying to be perfect. Sometimes I feel paralized. Not with regular stuff (cleaning, cooking, going to work) but planning in advance or getting in touch with people who are not involved in my daily life.
I know I'm a good mom. my ex is not around much, so my kids rely on me for almost everything.
These tapes helped me to appreciate and be kind to myself. Dealing with anger and not reacting were the biggies for me.
I went through 14-15 last week and even the extra cd.
I think I'm going to go back and listen to certain sessions again and revised the homework. I was amazed at how the score changed in the "anger test" that was good feedback.
Well, I hope i didn't bore you with my story. It's nice to be able to communicate with other people like you. so, I hope i hear from you again, and I promise to replay!
Happy holiday,
yael

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